But yea, anyway, this sounds, all in all, a lot like Kate's Theory and both of yours make sense. I think the next step is figuring out what all this means. Or rather what's the damn meaning of life? Connecting with as many things and people as possible in order to feel at least part of the big "connection"?
As Kate had said, there's no one meaning of life. If you want to set your meaning of life as "connecting with as many things and people as possible" then sure, go ahead, you'll be in-lined with most meditation gurus and monks. Each person have their own connection that they want to keep (remember...astrology=connection with stars, etc.) and that's what determines their meaning of life, the connection itself isn't the meaning, though it can be. Following up on what you feel you're connected with will make you happy, which is an very interesting idea in itself because...okay I'm digressing. But the point is, the meaning is a highly arbitrary thing depending on the individual.
But that's more complicated than it sounds; it's hard to have powerful bonds with too many people/things and, besides, you can never really get even close to being connected to the entire universe like you used to at the Beginning.
No, you can never be connected like you were at the beginning, that stage is in the irreversible past. It IS very complicated (hey, since when's life simple?), and unless you can learn to sort out yourself, having too many connections can actually be quite distracting! For people who wants to connect with too many people it's usually easier just to lump them together as a whole and develope a love for humanity . We call them philanthropists.
Hmm, did you ever have the superstitious feeling that once you figure out the meaning of life, you will die? Not necessarily as "punishment", but like.. moving into the next phase (whatever it may be or may not be at all) because you got this one all figured out.
I don't think I've ever gotten the feeling that knowledge will lead to "death" before, but yes, I think knowledge is what will take us to the next phase. Some people might consider leaving behind a way of thinking/life "death" so, I suppose, knowledge does in a way lead to death. I just think I happen to have a lack of fear for this sort of death, that's all. Ditto Kate on the step on the stages of life thing.
It's silly, but I'm just wondering. I guess it's sort of like the thing in Hitchhikers about the universe that becomes more complicated and starts all over once someone discovers what it is for and why it is there.
I think that sort of thing is really just symbolic of how we keep wanting to know everything, except everything keeps changing, so the moment we think we have everything figured out something's already changing and our understanding's out of date. It'd feel like starting all over again. Terribly frustrating but no, don't think the universe will blow up any time soon.
Also, no, Kate, I don't recall seeing a resonance rant, but it's always neat to have friends who can think the same way you do.
Ah, and getting back to my morning visit to the doctor. The new Kaiser building is big and shaped like something a drunk mathmatician who specialized in geometry might draw. Finding departments was somewhat difficult before the discovery of an internal map. The elevators all have a 30 second latency between when the elevator stops and when the door opens and standing there, waiting for the door, I keep thinking "open sesame" in my head. Over and over again. There're only so many things that you can say about being poked with needles and they've all been said by various other people already, so I'll leave you to furnish up that bit in your imagination.
Weather=warm.
20050630
20050629
Ranting: The Theory
To be read in complement with Kate's "Everything Theory-Part I".
Life
In clarification of my personal definition of "faith" and "hope" (for I think that there is a subtle difference between the two), faith, I believe, is blinder than hope--less prejudiced against the circumstance, if you will. Both are, I agree, things derived from something within ourselves, be it neurons, chemicals, spirit, or soul.
Do we have a soul? That is too big a question to be answered at the moment, especially since proving the answers will be difficult at the lack of what people would refer to as "hard core evidence". So we'll take a detour around the issue and let each one decide for themselves.
Remember my call for the human love of potentials, from which hope/faith (for argument's sake, we'll put them together to make it easier) came from. Humans love potentials and yet many fail to see how much potential they themselves are born with. The hope/faith for miracles from outside potential, for some helpful chances and possibilities that came from Elsewhere is so great that for some it is impossible to think that they must rely on themselves for that miracle. (Please note that I neither affirmed nor denied the presence of God, whose existence we can discuss some other day.) Yet what humanity has accomplished so far (both good and bad)can be credited as hard work done by humans while God seemed to serve as a sort of moral/spiritual support.
Consider this hypothesis: God is a part of us, and we are a part of God, because our subconscious recognizes our own potentials and, in the perversion of the human psyche, seeks to place it in a more glorious vessel of ideology for us to recognize. How else, otherwise, would something all-knowing, all-seeing, and all-powerful ended up so humanized? God is in each of us, but what is in each of us does not make us God, nor is that small bit in each of us God. It's the derived whole of humanity, the sum of our potential and hope/faith that is God. Put it all together, the sum of all of humanity would know all that the humanity knows (all-knowing), the sum of all of humanity would see all that humans can see (all-seeing)...*
And of course, this is just an explanation for one idea/image of God than many worships and in no way limited the possibly upper-dimensional Being that can still be very much real.
Universe
Take a step back and inspect it from a different perspective—that of a scientist seeking for truth. Here we have the Big Bang theory, where it states, a long, long time ago, in the beginning of time actually, everything there is and ever will be is packed within an infinitely small and dense point. At that point (no pun intended), everything is essentially one Thing, which we might imagine to be the highest level of pure energy or we might imagine to be a dying flounder—we don’t know, though the fish idea seems pretty ridiculous.
Orson Scott Card (author) once proposed an idea in Ender’s Game (book series) that when we split the fundamental particles (whatever they may be), the two halves will be able to resonate at the same frequency, no matter how far away they’re placed. There is a small sub-theory for that that when two people are very close, some particles within them will start to take on the characteristics of the halves of the split particle which, yes, is a very pretty idea.
Connect the two above paragraphs. Things really can’t get any closer than when they were one Thing, squeezed, infinitely small and infinitely dense, into one point, can it?
Therefore, when the Big Bang happened, the one Thing is flung across the suddenly existent space-time continuum as now very very many things—and it would seem possible that all those things (particles, radiation, etc., you know the works) that were once one Thing would still be able to maintain some sort of interconnectiveness (not a word). It wouldn’t be too surprising, in fact, if space-time (actually it’s more likely if we go up higher dimensions, I think) is a composite of all the resonance going on.
How does this relate to part one, you ask?
Well, I always thought the idea that we are made from star dust (i.e. children of the stars) the prettiest idea in the fields of space science. That means, in other words, we are made for the dust of stars that have died, which are made from either dust of other stars that have died or from residue dust from the Big Bang. And all stars and galaxies originated from the big bang, which means that we were, unchangeably, once a part of the one Thing.
And Everything Else
It’s part of the reason why some people choose different field to go into in life, I think.
When we’re little, we are much more a part of what we were than when we grow up, because society, let’s face it, is a rather big and very effective distraction. Yet people still manage to hang on to the things they feel the most connected to. Astronomy people, for instance, probably felt most connected to the stars out there. Biology majors, to earth. Sociology—other people, so on and so forth. Along the same lines, the more resonance/connectiveness (again, not a word) you feel to the other parts of the one Thing, the more interests you might have. (I wonder if this is how xenobiology started, but I digress.) Different combinations of interests gives us the other “interests” such as art (possibly connection to earth and other humans?), music, etc.
The same idea of resonance may also account for the bouts of “separateness” that everyone occasional suffers from. The sense of being alone and aching to be a part of something greater. Considering that we were, technically, once the one Thing before Big Bang tore us all apart (I can’t very well say we were parts of the one Thing because the one Thing had no parts, it’s just that one Thing, but you can deduce what I’m trying to say), which meant that once we were One, all that there was, the feeling seems quite understandable now, doesn’t it? Of course, technically we’re still an intimate part of the universe out there, but now we’re all separate parts, so there’s quite a difference.
You know what? This theory also allows for the idea of “true-love”, as in the “you make me feel complete” idea may have more to it than what meets the idea. (Human intuition is such a great thing…honestly.) I’m not exactly sure how the resonance managed to sort themselves out so that they could find the complementary notes (think music, think how one note can complement the other…well sounds is resonating air, so the idea shouldn’t be that different), but that might explain the high divorce rate and other problems we have at the moment. Beside, I have the rest of my life to figure out the complete answer to Life, the Universe and Everything, and it’s only 9: 31 AM in the morning of almost my eighteenth year in life.
Think I’ll go and drink some tea now.
*[edit 10:10] Just thought I'd bring this up too. Around the invention of the hydrogen bomb there's the saying that humans are trying to be God. They're playing the power of God which is to create and destroy, and the saying is that we're half way there already because we know how to destroy. Now, seeing all the stuff we're doing with genetics and biotechnology, I'd say we're pretty close to create too.
All human. All God.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Kate, this is the best I can do. How'd you like it?
Life
In clarification of my personal definition of "faith" and "hope" (for I think that there is a subtle difference between the two), faith, I believe, is blinder than hope--less prejudiced against the circumstance, if you will. Both are, I agree, things derived from something within ourselves, be it neurons, chemicals, spirit, or soul.
Do we have a soul? That is too big a question to be answered at the moment, especially since proving the answers will be difficult at the lack of what people would refer to as "hard core evidence". So we'll take a detour around the issue and let each one decide for themselves.
Remember my call for the human love of potentials, from which hope/faith (for argument's sake, we'll put them together to make it easier) came from. Humans love potentials and yet many fail to see how much potential they themselves are born with. The hope/faith for miracles from outside potential, for some helpful chances and possibilities that came from Elsewhere is so great that for some it is impossible to think that they must rely on themselves for that miracle. (Please note that I neither affirmed nor denied the presence of God, whose existence we can discuss some other day.) Yet what humanity has accomplished so far (both good and bad)can be credited as hard work done by humans while God seemed to serve as a sort of moral/spiritual support.
Consider this hypothesis: God is a part of us, and we are a part of God, because our subconscious recognizes our own potentials and, in the perversion of the human psyche, seeks to place it in a more glorious vessel of ideology for us to recognize. How else, otherwise, would something all-knowing, all-seeing, and all-powerful ended up so humanized? God is in each of us, but what is in each of us does not make us God, nor is that small bit in each of us God. It's the derived whole of humanity, the sum of our potential and hope/faith that is God. Put it all together, the sum of all of humanity would know all that the humanity knows (all-knowing), the sum of all of humanity would see all that humans can see (all-seeing)...*
And of course, this is just an explanation for one idea/image of God than many worships and in no way limited the possibly upper-dimensional Being that can still be very much real.
Universe
Take a step back and inspect it from a different perspective—that of a scientist seeking for truth. Here we have the Big Bang theory, where it states, a long, long time ago, in the beginning of time actually, everything there is and ever will be is packed within an infinitely small and dense point. At that point (no pun intended), everything is essentially one Thing, which we might imagine to be the highest level of pure energy or we might imagine to be a dying flounder—we don’t know, though the fish idea seems pretty ridiculous.
Orson Scott Card (author) once proposed an idea in Ender’s Game (book series) that when we split the fundamental particles (whatever they may be), the two halves will be able to resonate at the same frequency, no matter how far away they’re placed. There is a small sub-theory for that that when two people are very close, some particles within them will start to take on the characteristics of the halves of the split particle which, yes, is a very pretty idea.
Connect the two above paragraphs. Things really can’t get any closer than when they were one Thing, squeezed, infinitely small and infinitely dense, into one point, can it?
Therefore, when the Big Bang happened, the one Thing is flung across the suddenly existent space-time continuum as now very very many things—and it would seem possible that all those things (particles, radiation, etc., you know the works) that were once one Thing would still be able to maintain some sort of interconnectiveness (not a word). It wouldn’t be too surprising, in fact, if space-time (actually it’s more likely if we go up higher dimensions, I think) is a composite of all the resonance going on.
How does this relate to part one, you ask?
Well, I always thought the idea that we are made from star dust (i.e. children of the stars) the prettiest idea in the fields of space science. That means, in other words, we are made for the dust of stars that have died, which are made from either dust of other stars that have died or from residue dust from the Big Bang. And all stars and galaxies originated from the big bang, which means that we were, unchangeably, once a part of the one Thing.
And Everything Else
It’s part of the reason why some people choose different field to go into in life, I think.
When we’re little, we are much more a part of what we were than when we grow up, because society, let’s face it, is a rather big and very effective distraction. Yet people still manage to hang on to the things they feel the most connected to. Astronomy people, for instance, probably felt most connected to the stars out there. Biology majors, to earth. Sociology—other people, so on and so forth. Along the same lines, the more resonance/connectiveness (again, not a word) you feel to the other parts of the one Thing, the more interests you might have. (I wonder if this is how xenobiology started, but I digress.) Different combinations of interests gives us the other “interests” such as art (possibly connection to earth and other humans?), music, etc.
The same idea of resonance may also account for the bouts of “separateness” that everyone occasional suffers from. The sense of being alone and aching to be a part of something greater. Considering that we were, technically, once the one Thing before Big Bang tore us all apart (I can’t very well say we were parts of the one Thing because the one Thing had no parts, it’s just that one Thing, but you can deduce what I’m trying to say), which meant that once we were One, all that there was, the feeling seems quite understandable now, doesn’t it? Of course, technically we’re still an intimate part of the universe out there, but now we’re all separate parts, so there’s quite a difference.
You know what? This theory also allows for the idea of “true-love”, as in the “you make me feel complete” idea may have more to it than what meets the idea. (Human intuition is such a great thing…honestly.) I’m not exactly sure how the resonance managed to sort themselves out so that they could find the complementary notes (think music, think how one note can complement the other…well sounds is resonating air, so the idea shouldn’t be that different), but that might explain the high divorce rate and other problems we have at the moment. Beside, I have the rest of my life to figure out the complete answer to Life, the Universe and Everything, and it’s only 9: 31 AM in the morning of almost my eighteenth year in life.
Think I’ll go and drink some tea now.
*[edit 10:10] Just thought I'd bring this up too. Around the invention of the hydrogen bomb there's the saying that humans are trying to be God. They're playing the power of God which is to create and destroy, and the saying is that we're half way there already because we know how to destroy. Now, seeing all the stuff we're doing with genetics and biotechnology, I'd say we're pretty close to create too.
All human. All God.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Kate, this is the best I can do. How'd you like it?
20050628
Ranting: To the Future
The presence of hope relies on nothing so much as faith. To hope means that you are placing faith in what is to be, it means wishing for something or some time or nameless, mysterious ideas and dreams in the future. Not quite aspirations, the basis of wishes. The little neurological firing of the synapses and diffusion of neurotransmitters that gives humans this unique feeling which we call "to have hope."
And helplessly, aimlessly, we fill our baskets with hope for the future. We dream of the future. Nothing, for many, is as seductive as the mysteries of what's to come. Because it has not occurred yet, the future is a boiling mass of possibilities and many cherishes and tries to shape.
What is possibilities then? Probability. Chances. There are an infinity of choices just as there are an infinite amount of moments in each second-to-be. You can cut time into infinite small chunks, since the carved pieces of times that we call hours and minutes doesn't except outside of our heads anyhow. Within each of these infinitely small pieces there is so much potential...for almost everything.
Humans are such goners for potentials. Hopes and potentials seem to be what half of humanity is made of. What a race of hopeless hopefuls.
Whoo, go us.
And helplessly, aimlessly, we fill our baskets with hope for the future. We dream of the future. Nothing, for many, is as seductive as the mysteries of what's to come. Because it has not occurred yet, the future is a boiling mass of possibilities and many cherishes and tries to shape.
What is possibilities then? Probability. Chances. There are an infinity of choices just as there are an infinite amount of moments in each second-to-be. You can cut time into infinite small chunks, since the carved pieces of times that we call hours and minutes doesn't except outside of our heads anyhow. Within each of these infinitely small pieces there is so much potential...for almost everything.
Humans are such goners for potentials. Hopes and potentials seem to be what half of humanity is made of. What a race of hopeless hopefuls.
Whoo, go us.
20050627
Recap: Dog Monday
Tried to plot out my course today.
What fun.
PDF files are the most annoying thing I've encountered within the past 20 days, that and the redundant lins...been reading those stuff too long and it's about to put me to sleep.
Fixed the table dimension thing, Kate, is it any better? (click "refresh if your browser sets long-term cookies)
[edit 16 42:]
After a lot of research (the intructions are located all over the place and NOT within the handbook, where it should be) I have found this:
Multiple majors will not be approved for the following majors: biochemistry and molecular biology; biological sciences; cell biology; evolution and ecology; genetics; microbiology; neurobiology, physiology, and behavior; plant biology.
Ah well. Back to the idea of minors then, I guess.
What fun.
PDF files are the most annoying thing I've encountered within the past 20 days, that and the redundant lins...been reading those stuff too long and it's about to put me to sleep.
Fixed the table dimension thing, Kate, is it any better? (click "refresh if your browser sets long-term cookies)
[edit 16 42:]
After a lot of research (the intructions are located all over the place and NOT within the handbook, where it should be) I have found this:
Multiple majors will not be approved for the following majors: biochemistry and molecular biology; biological sciences; cell biology; evolution and ecology; genetics; microbiology; neurobiology, physiology, and behavior; plant biology.
Ah well. Back to the idea of minors then, I guess.
20050626
Recap: Untitled
On the progress of my driving: my parents have gotten very nice about saying "left" and "right" instead of "that direction" now. That has made me happy.
I've spent some time looking at the classes I have to take for plant science major yesterday and am considering my options both in minors and double majors (actually think I can do it without going insane too, especially if I choose a second major that's close to my first one such as...biochemistry or genetics, for example). As for what I planned to do in the future (job-wise) I've realized how easy it is for me to pick a field--open up my bio book, flip through the plant section, and hone in on key words related to jobs. Result: botanical alchemy (sp?), genetics, bioengineering.
Roger.
Now, that leaves me with the little question of my minor. What should I pick? I've heard both writing and art but that seems...very...REMOTE compared to my major. What's the purpose of a minor, anyway? They don't have that system in China yet and so I'm left to guess its purpose.
Geeky moment (okay, geekier-than-usual moment): OOO I'll get to grow plants in testtubes--fun!
Note to Lucy: Arthur J. Crowley has slit-pupil eyes. You know, like a snakes? Black and white pictures are scary...normal people don't come in heightened contrast like that.
DECEPTION POINT- Dan Brown- 557 (okay, his books...how do I say this...essentially, if you've read one, you've read all.)
THE LOVELY BONES- Alice Sebold - 328 - Incredibly touching and inspirational from a story that stemmed from rape & murder.
FLATLAND- Edwin Abbot- 147 -For philosophical "non-geeks" who secretly likes math.
I've spent some time looking at the classes I have to take for plant science major yesterday and am considering my options both in minors and double majors (actually think I can do it without going insane too, especially if I choose a second major that's close to my first one such as...biochemistry or genetics, for example). As for what I planned to do in the future (job-wise) I've realized how easy it is for me to pick a field--open up my bio book, flip through the plant section, and hone in on key words related to jobs. Result: botanical alchemy (sp?), genetics, bioengineering.
Roger.
Now, that leaves me with the little question of my minor. What should I pick? I've heard both writing and art but that seems...very...REMOTE compared to my major. What's the purpose of a minor, anyway? They don't have that system in China yet and so I'm left to guess its purpose.
Geeky moment (okay, geekier-than-usual moment): OOO I'll get to grow plants in testtubes--fun!
Note to Lucy: Arthur J. Crowley has slit-pupil eyes. You know, like a snakes? Black and white pictures are scary...normal people don't come in heightened contrast like that.
DECEPTION POINT- Dan Brown- 557 (okay, his books...how do I say this...essentially, if you've read one, you've read all.)
THE LOVELY BONES- Alice Sebold - 328 - Incredibly touching and inspirational from a story that stemmed from rape & murder.
FLATLAND- Edwin Abbot- 147 -For philosophical "non-geeks" who secretly likes math.
20050625
Recap: Huh
I've made up my mind to try to get through BEA by myself (after I come back, of course, because otherwise leaving the story off at a 'cliff-hanger' (sp?) for a month is too sadistic, even for me). So, wish me luck, anyone?
'Raided' the library once again today. It's really strange because during the school year my Saturday morning usually involved homework (and it's usually math, taking up most of Saturday). Now it's going to the library and helping parents grocery shop. Oh, and of course practice driving. Who can forget that? The experience is what I think a rather rude wake-up call in the morning.
Personally I've never figured out how "calculated innocence" works. If you're calculated, then you can't be very innocent, can you?
Will be attempting to update my website sooon, even though it's more like a webpage with a complete index of my online activites than anything else.
'Raided' the library once again today. It's really strange because during the school year my Saturday morning usually involved homework (and it's usually math, taking up most of Saturday). Now it's going to the library and helping parents grocery shop. Oh, and of course practice driving. Who can forget that? The experience is what I think a rather rude wake-up call in the morning.
Personally I've never figured out how "calculated innocence" works. If you're calculated, then you can't be very innocent, can you?
Will be attempting to update my website sooon, even though it's more like a webpage with a complete index of my online activites than anything else.
20050624
Recap: Viernes
In approximately five hours I got up the promised blog layout, but of course, some tweaking still needs to be done. For instance, the vertical alignments only works when viewed with firefox for some reason. Huh.
Anyway, go see, Kate.
Another week's going by. Wow.
Anyway, go see, Kate.
Another week's going by. Wow.
20050623
Ranting: A Reason for Conspiracy
Really, it has been a long while now, even given the unusual extra time window for the media to come true (I mean, the reporters usually flock to scandal like sharks to the scent of blood) I have witnessed no special reportings on the Downing Street Memo.
Freedom of speech? Only if you're well-informed enough to understand and know how to use that freedom and, oddly enough, I get the sense that someone is repeatedly trying to keep us in the dark. Yet, thanks to the internet, you only need to pay one short visit to google to find out the magnitude of what the U.S. media is turning an apparently blind eye on.
There is a website with the url for it:
http://www.downingstreetmemo.com/
There is a blog subdivision under that url for it:
http://www.downingstreetmemo.com/blog.html
There's even an entry in the web-o-pedia, Wikipedia, for it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Downing_Street_memo
We get 20 something stations blaring about celebrity relationship problems and a runaway bride and compared to that we have--what? Exactly. We have a "what?" for something that had involved the loss of lives, not only in this country that the government is (at least supposidly) in charge of, but in another country that, if all the facts came out straight, the U.S. government had no business controlling in the first place.
The author Dan Brown had a point about the dangers of knowledge, and the cliche of the dangers of understanding too little knowledge is well planted. Either read the news and conduct your own mini-research each day to see what is really happening, or don't pay attention to the news at all.
But then, that's another problem, isn't it? Too many people playing the snail from Anderson's fairytales--withdrawing into their shells and insisting that the world has nothing to do with them. The world will go to hell, hell will freeze over, and then what?
Points for Kate, ranting does feel good.
Freedom of speech? Only if you're well-informed enough to understand and know how to use that freedom and, oddly enough, I get the sense that someone is repeatedly trying to keep us in the dark. Yet, thanks to the internet, you only need to pay one short visit to google to find out the magnitude of what the U.S. media is turning an apparently blind eye on.
There is a website with the url for it:
http://www.downingstreetmemo.com/
There is a blog subdivision under that url for it:
http://www.downingstreetmemo.com/blog.html
There's even an entry in the web-o-pedia, Wikipedia, for it:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Downing_Street_memo
We get 20 something stations blaring about celebrity relationship problems and a runaway bride and compared to that we have--what? Exactly. We have a "what?" for something that had involved the loss of lives, not only in this country that the government is (at least supposidly) in charge of, but in another country that, if all the facts came out straight, the U.S. government had no business controlling in the first place.
The author Dan Brown had a point about the dangers of knowledge, and the cliche of the dangers of understanding too little knowledge is well planted. Either read the news and conduct your own mini-research each day to see what is really happening, or don't pay attention to the news at all.
But then, that's another problem, isn't it? Too many people playing the snail from Anderson's fairytales--withdrawing into their shells and insisting that the world has nothing to do with them. The world will go to hell, hell will freeze over, and then what?
Points for Kate, ranting does feel good.
I am in a madhouse, but half the world is run by madmen and nobody complains. -Ted Mundy from Absolute Friends by John Le Carre
Recap: the Noble and Most Ancient Line of Lunatics
Another thing done, I suppose. The first round of emails are out as for how soon we'll find out who can make it...that's anyone's guess.
Part of the neighbor's porch (downstair neighbor, for those of you who know what I'm talking about) is being refitted and at the same time the leaf blower's arrived so, at the moment, it's quite, quite noisy. I can't think very cleary because of that. My parents have started wondering (in a joking manner) whether or not it'd be possible for me to take my driver's license test wearing headphones that are blaring music. (Okay, no necessarily music.)According to my father the best driving session we had so far was the time when my mother had accidentally left the radio on its highway volume.
Discouraging.
Here's a question: If there are unicorns, what happens to their bodies when they die?
Part of the neighbor's porch (downstair neighbor, for those of you who know what I'm talking about) is being refitted and at the same time the leaf blower's arrived so, at the moment, it's quite, quite noisy. I can't think very cleary because of that. My parents have started wondering (in a joking manner) whether or not it'd be possible for me to take my driver's license test wearing headphones that are blaring music. (Okay, no necessarily music.)According to my father the best driving session we had so far was the time when my mother had accidentally left the radio on its highway volume.
Discouraging.
Here's a question: If there are unicorns, what happens to their bodies when they die?
20050622
Annoucement
Ooops, sorry, Lucy, I DID completely miss the comment on that post. Both ones. Sorry you won't be able to do BEA with me. As for how I'll be able to do it...I think I'm still testing myself to see if I'm ready to do all-original hardcore fantasy by myself yet. (Hardcore as in long length.) So we'll see how that gets worked out.
And yes Victoria, I'm still using my old email. If all my other emails fail, use my old email, that one will be around for a long, long time.
And yes Victoria, I'm still using my old email. If all my other emails fail, use my old email, that one will be around for a long, long time.
20050621
Adriel 21 B
A segment that I dug up. Read it for fun and feel sorry for all the poor military personnel whoever had to use out-of-date modes of transportation:
Incidentally I found some extra photos in my camera that I will get uploaded into my yahoo account in approximately one hour. Cheerios.
Adriel woke up to find himself sleeping on a wall and thanked whatever foresight for preventing him from completely unpacking, even after two weeks. His bag was on the wall too, three feet away from his head and upside-down, its zippers securely closed.
Blearily he reached out and opened the communications link.
“Medon to engineering. Medon to engineering. This is room delta-31, deck two, the gravity generator’s acting up again.”
“Copy, Lieutenant,” returned a voice. “The entire C section is experiencing difficulties, we’ll try to get it back on line as soon as we can.”
Knowing what that meant, Adriel cautiously began to inch himself toward his now-horizontal, still-nailed-to-the-floor cot.
Gravity returned suddenly. He tumbled off of the wall and landed face-down on the bed, the force of impact forcing all the air out from his lungs. His pillow thumped onto the back of his head.
“Section C gravity restored; repeat: section C gravity is restored.” Said the voice on the intercom, then, “Everything normal now, Lieutenant?”
Breathlessly shoving the tangled bed things off of him, Adriel grabbed for the link again. “Thank you, Sergeant.”
“Welcome, sir.”
He checked the time. It was only an hour left before his shift. Might as well as get up and get ready. A few minutes of searching revealed to him that one of his shoe now had been relocated to the top of computer (which was luckily held in place by its wiring) while the other shoe had, by some chance, mysteriously ended up under his bed.
He sighed.
So began another day.
Blearily he reached out and opened the communications link.
“Medon to engineering. Medon to engineering. This is room delta-31, deck two, the gravity generator’s acting up again.”
“Copy, Lieutenant,” returned a voice. “The entire C section is experiencing difficulties, we’ll try to get it back on line as soon as we can.”
Knowing what that meant, Adriel cautiously began to inch himself toward his now-horizontal, still-nailed-to-the-floor cot.
Gravity returned suddenly. He tumbled off of the wall and landed face-down on the bed, the force of impact forcing all the air out from his lungs. His pillow thumped onto the back of his head.
“Section C gravity restored; repeat: section C gravity is restored.” Said the voice on the intercom, then, “Everything normal now, Lieutenant?”
Breathlessly shoving the tangled bed things off of him, Adriel grabbed for the link again. “Thank you, Sergeant.”
“Welcome, sir.”
He checked the time. It was only an hour left before his shift. Might as well as get up and get ready. A few minutes of searching revealed to him that one of his shoe now had been relocated to the top of computer (which was luckily held in place by its wiring) while the other shoe had, by some chance, mysteriously ended up under his bed.
He sighed.
So began another day.
Incidentally I found some extra photos in my camera that I will get uploaded into my yahoo account in approximately one hour. Cheerios.
Recap: Still There
Still photoshop-less, no question about it. That puts some of my projects on hold. The rest I'm not sure about either because I haven't a clue how safe it is for me to download my stuff back into my computer yet. I'm unwilling to risk any actual data before the OS finishes patching.
I wish MS didn't need so many patches. It's very, very, VERY annoying to download on a slow internet connection. 206 minutes left. BEEP.
Mother'd been eating my scones. Apparently she likes them very much. Very flattering. Sort of funny too. She asked me why I didn't make another batch or something while waiting for my computer to load.
Also:
GRENDEL- Gardner, John
ABSOLUTE FRIENDS- Le Carre, John <-- for all you government conspiracy theorists out there.
[edit 13 04] post SP- Just remembered--happy summer solstice!
I wish MS didn't need so many patches. It's very, very, VERY annoying to download on a slow internet connection. 206 minutes left. BEEP.
Mother'd been eating my scones. Apparently she likes them very much. Very flattering. Sort of funny too. She asked me why I didn't make another batch or something while waiting for my computer to load.
Also:
GRENDEL- Gardner, John
ABSOLUTE FRIENDS- Le Carre, John <-- for all you government conspiracy theorists out there.
[edit 13 04] post SP- Just remembered--happy summer solstice!
20050620
Recap: Gone
Santa Clara City library. All day. Other computer still rather messed up. MS needs waaaay too much patching in order to work. Maybe be online tonight though.
Please leave a beep after the message.
Please leave a beep after the message.
20050619
Annoucement
Anna, Lucy, and Kate, please check your emails.
July 7th okay? Anything later than 10th, including the 10th, is definitely out of the question just because of the last minute stuff that always happens.
Let me know how it works out 'k?
July 7th okay? Anything later than 10th, including the 10th, is definitely out of the question just because of the last minute stuff that always happens.
Let me know how it works out 'k?
Recap: More Problem
Somehow, even after SP4, something that's supposidly from the system insists that the registry is corrupted. The sound card was for some reason incompatible so none of the audio system works. The printer/scanner program detects a script error and won't run either and, in general, it's a heck of a mess.
My father tells me that he'll fix it and to stop worrying and focus on my driving first.
Hah.
So, no, I expect I won't be online much today either and if am, will be on the laptop where most of my files are not (backuped on another computer with a larger memory than the laptop).
cheers.
Virus season=Summer. Officially. We looked it up in Networking.
My father tells me that he'll fix it and to stop worrying and focus on my driving first.
Hah.
So, no, I expect I won't be online much today either and if am, will be on the laptop where most of my files are not (backuped on another computer with a larger memory than the laptop).
cheers.
Virus season=Summer. Officially. We looked it up in Networking.
20050618
Recap: Unnecesary Necessity
Updated system, didn't work, so needed to reinstall basically everything. So far got the OS up, browser, photoshop, etc. and all is working correctly. Getting instant messenger and acrobat reader right now. Have to get SP4 before checking whether or not my printer will be compatible this time.
So unless things go miraculously correct for once, you won't see me online today at all. (The internet was just set up less than 30 minutes ago.)
So unless things go miraculously correct for once, you won't see me online today at all. (The internet was just set up less than 30 minutes ago.)
20050617
Recap: A Rhapsody of Symbols
Movies always have overdone symbolism. It's quite funny.
Went with Kate, Lucy, Christine, and Anna to watch STAR WARS III today. We sat up front and I got very disoriented. Sad, I don't think I'm suited for large screen movies and I think it's because I'm used to rely on my visual input too much. The screen took up too much of my visual field so I get the sense that I'm THERE in the scene and moving as the camera is moving except the rest of my senses tells me that no, I'm not moving at all and the conflicting signals is making me feel dizzy. However, I found that I can either 1. close one eye and destroy my depth perception so the movie feels really fake or 2. unfocus my eyes slightly (I found out that if I really concentrate on focusing, I can see the light band moving up my monitor screen, which is cool [meaning I can focus high frequency] but gives me a headache). Unfocusing my eyes means my brain processes less frames per minute and for some reason, that worked for me. Oh and dark room was very nice. Cushy seats. But it was loud enough so I had no problem staying awake.
Christine was complaining about how she can't eat anything though she craved meat (had her wisdome teeth (tooth?) pulled out). It's the season of teeth pulling, apparently...so many people I know are having their teeth pulled out. Victoria's going to soon too, I hear.
It must be a new fad. I could never understand them.
Joking. Joking.
Went with Kate, Lucy, Christine, and Anna to watch STAR WARS III today. We sat up front and I got very disoriented. Sad, I don't think I'm suited for large screen movies and I think it's because I'm used to rely on my visual input too much. The screen took up too much of my visual field so I get the sense that I'm THERE in the scene and moving as the camera is moving except the rest of my senses tells me that no, I'm not moving at all and the conflicting signals is making me feel dizzy. However, I found that I can either 1. close one eye and destroy my depth perception so the movie feels really fake or 2. unfocus my eyes slightly (I found out that if I really concentrate on focusing, I can see the light band moving up my monitor screen, which is cool [meaning I can focus high frequency] but gives me a headache). Unfocusing my eyes means my brain processes less frames per minute and for some reason, that worked for me. Oh and dark room was very nice. Cushy seats. But it was loud enough so I had no problem staying awake.
Christine was complaining about how she can't eat anything though she craved meat (had her wisdome teeth (tooth?) pulled out). It's the season of teeth pulling, apparently...so many people I know are having their teeth pulled out. Victoria's going to soon too, I hear.
It must be a new fad. I could never understand them.
Joking. Joking.
20050616
Recap: Worms?
Contacted virus called Best Buddy AIM Virus through, as you may guess, AIM. Has completely killed virus but still needs to repair the damage. Namely the ActiveX control that still refuses to work correctly and therefore is make me very, very frustrated. That, and more boxes, is how my morning went.
Nice weather today. And the beta version of a prologue I wrote a while ago was deleted.
Oh, don't worry, I'll cheer up very soon I expect. Looks forward to fun stuff tomorrow.
Nice weather today. And the beta version of a prologue I wrote a while ago was deleted.
Oh, don't worry, I'll cheer up very soon I expect. Looks forward to fun stuff tomorrow.
20050615
Recap: Counting the Days
When you're not in school, there is less reasons to keep track of the days of the week.
This morning I wandered over to Safeway and brought a can of baking powder, then wandered back. The cashier gave me weird looks. I guess seeing a teenager wander in by herself for a can of baking powder at ten in the morning is a bit strange. Yes I walked. The temperature wasn't too hot yet, so it was nice and gave me another chance to impress my surroundings into my memory. Fun.
Waged minor battles with tape today. Confident that I shall win the war, eventually (hopefully before September). Lugged around boxes that are roughly half my weight, which is very good workout but I think I'll be avoiding it from now on because I just realized how close I came to seriously injuring myself. I also sent my calculus flashcards through the shredder (those from the first semester, before I gave up all hope on making sense of calculus). Of course I don't really need to SHRED it, but I was deriving immense pleasure from watching the cards being cut into tiny strips.
It's the next best thing to burning it, and I can't burn it, so I'm shredding it.
It's the attack of the Lusines! (A sudden email spree? lol Ditto on all the emails. Reminder: BEA.)
Books:
EPICTETUS: THE ART OF LIVING- Sharon Lebell- 113
HART'S HOPE- Orson Scott Card- 261
DRAGONS OF WINTER NIGHT- M. Weis & T. Hickman- 361
DRAGONS OF SPRING DAWNING- same authors as above- 380
I think I've posted the sheet where I read ORYX AND CRAKE, but missed the one where I read SHIZUKO'S DAUGHTER (is that even spelled right?). But oh well.
This morning I wandered over to Safeway and brought a can of baking powder, then wandered back. The cashier gave me weird looks. I guess seeing a teenager wander in by herself for a can of baking powder at ten in the morning is a bit strange. Yes I walked. The temperature wasn't too hot yet, so it was nice and gave me another chance to impress my surroundings into my memory. Fun.
Waged minor battles with tape today. Confident that I shall win the war, eventually (hopefully before September). Lugged around boxes that are roughly half my weight, which is very good workout but I think I'll be avoiding it from now on because I just realized how close I came to seriously injuring myself. I also sent my calculus flashcards through the shredder (those from the first semester, before I gave up all hope on making sense of calculus). Of course I don't really need to SHRED it, but I was deriving immense pleasure from watching the cards being cut into tiny strips.
It's the next best thing to burning it, and I can't burn it, so I'm shredding it.
It's the attack of the Lusines! (A sudden email spree? lol Ditto on all the emails. Reminder: BEA.)
Books:
EPICTETUS: THE ART OF LIVING- Sharon Lebell- 113
HART'S HOPE- Orson Scott Card- 261
DRAGONS OF WINTER NIGHT- M. Weis & T. Hickman- 361
DRAGONS OF SPRING DAWNING- same authors as above- 380
I think I've posted the sheet where I read ORYX AND CRAKE, but missed the one where I read SHIZUKO'S DAUGHTER (is that even spelled right?). But oh well.
20050614
Recap: Mishmash
Are transparencies recycleable? (recycleble? recyclable? Whatever.)
More dragging stuff around today. More boxes. I've started the routine already of retreating downstairs during the hottest hours of the day. Book reading is going along very nicely even though I've once again lost track of the last book name I posted here. Ah well. I wanted to post something else but that's in the other computer, so maybe later.
More dragging stuff around today. More boxes. I've started the routine already of retreating downstairs during the hottest hours of the day. Book reading is going along very nicely even though I've once again lost track of the last book name I posted here. Ah well. I wanted to post something else but that's in the other computer, so maybe later.
20050613
Recap: A Reflection
On "ievals", related to evils, also known as honey cakes.
Yesterday Kate and I attempted to make honey cakes according to this recipe; it turned out rather interesting. Part of the interesting was that we were suppose to half (halve?) the ingredience but we forgot to do it completely for everything, so the consistency wasn't quite right. (We had batter (sp?), not dough.) Therefore the shape of the cake which resulted was quite erratic. I asked Kate if it looked medieval yet and she replied "no, just evil." It sounded like ovals, but the shape isn't near to being ovals, or circles (what they were suppose to be). Afterwards we put on the topping and I asked Kate again if it looked medieval NOW (because they looked better with topping) or if they still looked evil and we decided that it'd progressed from evil to "ieval" as a compromise between "evil" and "medieval". So I petitioned the right to call honey cakes ievals.
They didn't taste that bad. I'll try a batch of my own some day.
Not much else today. No school feels very strange. A weekend without any sort of school work is pure bliss. A note to my friends though--I'll be cleaning up my online photo album and some deleting will occur, so if there're any pictures you like there I'd suggest downloading them onto your computer (I already have a copy on mine).
Yesterday Kate and I attempted to make honey cakes according to this recipe; it turned out rather interesting. Part of the interesting was that we were suppose to half (halve?) the ingredience but we forgot to do it completely for everything, so the consistency wasn't quite right. (We had batter (sp?), not dough.) Therefore the shape of the cake which resulted was quite erratic. I asked Kate if it looked medieval yet and she replied "no, just evil." It sounded like ovals, but the shape isn't near to being ovals, or circles (what they were suppose to be). Afterwards we put on the topping and I asked Kate again if it looked medieval NOW (because they looked better with topping) or if they still looked evil and we decided that it'd progressed from evil to "ieval" as a compromise between "evil" and "medieval". So I petitioned the right to call honey cakes ievals.
They didn't taste that bad. I'll try a batch of my own some day.
Not much else today. No school feels very strange. A weekend without any sort of school work is pure bliss. A note to my friends though--I'll be cleaning up my online photo album and some deleting will occur, so if there're any pictures you like there I'd suggest downloading them onto your computer (I already have a copy on mine).
20050612
Non Sequitor: Desktop
For fun, I'll list what's currently on my desk:
1 printer
1 monitor that is linked to the rest of the computer, with one keyboard and one mouse attached
1 printer, with papers
1 telephone
1 bottle of glue, white
1 bottle of paper glue, clear
2 speakers, linked to computer
2 containers of pens and pencils, with too many pens and pencils to count, not ot mention 2 brushes, one sissor (stuck point down), 2 triangular rulers, one tweezer, one harry potter wand, 2 lead containers (one with lead), and a jack-knife (all stuck in the pencil/pen containers)
2 3/4 erasers (trust me on the fraction)
1 bit of earring (courtesy of Lucy)
1 lock
1 whiteout tape
1 cd (used as coaster)
1 usb memory stick (parent's)
1 timer, mushroom shaped (don't ask)
1 roll large, wide tape, the sort you seal boxes with
1 large garden sissor
2 sheets of notes
1 pouch of color pencils
1 empty cartrige of printer, colored
4 rechargeable batteries, 1.25v each, AA
4 rechargeable batteries, AAA
1 pencil sharpener
1 small radio, w/ headphones
1 pair of headphones, unattached to anything
1 camera
1 pair of glasses
1 roll of scotch tape
1 cd (music, to be listened to)
1 Rubik's cube
far too many books
1 pile of old flashcards, to be discarded soon, though not by means of the flame
1 cellphone
1 old library check out receipt, Santa Clara
1 ornament of pineneedles, built last night
1 packet of tissues, opened
1 notepad
1 notebook
1 scratchy green thing from yearbook dance (what else am I suppose to call it?)
1 pile of old reminders from UC Davis
1 piece of random plastic ribbon, white
1 pack of sticky notes (still there, Kate)
Yes, my desk top is quite full, why do you ask?
1 printer
1 monitor that is linked to the rest of the computer, with one keyboard and one mouse attached
1 printer, with papers
1 telephone
1 bottle of glue, white
1 bottle of paper glue, clear
2 speakers, linked to computer
2 containers of pens and pencils, with too many pens and pencils to count, not ot mention 2 brushes, one sissor (stuck point down), 2 triangular rulers, one tweezer, one harry potter wand, 2 lead containers (one with lead), and a jack-knife (all stuck in the pencil/pen containers)
2 3/4 erasers (trust me on the fraction)
1 bit of earring (courtesy of Lucy)
1 lock
1 whiteout tape
1 cd (used as coaster)
1 usb memory stick (parent's)
1 timer, mushroom shaped (don't ask)
1 roll large, wide tape, the sort you seal boxes with
1 large garden sissor
2 sheets of notes
1 pouch of color pencils
1 empty cartrige of printer, colored
4 rechargeable batteries, 1.25v each, AA
4 rechargeable batteries, AAA
1 pencil sharpener
1 small radio, w/ headphones
1 pair of headphones, unattached to anything
1 camera
1 pair of glasses
1 roll of scotch tape
1 cd (music, to be listened to)
1 Rubik's cube
far too many books
1 pile of old flashcards, to be discarded soon, though not by means of the flame
1 cellphone
1 old library check out receipt, Santa Clara
1 ornament of pineneedles, built last night
1 packet of tissues, opened
1 notepad
1 notebook
1 scratchy green thing from yearbook dance (what else am I suppose to call it?)
1 pile of old reminders from UC Davis
1 piece of random plastic ribbon, white
1 pack of sticky notes (still there, Kate)
Yes, my desk top is quite full, why do you ask?
Recap:
Driving practice again...and I WILL start cleaning my room which involves the creation and the rearrangement of a rather lot of boxes but hey, good exercise.
It's time to start making lists again.
Kate? Today? 4PM?
Not much else today and will be busy for a while before hand. Don't look for much else today either, I guess.
Sorry about the jumbled-ness.
It's time to start making lists again.
Kate? Today? 4PM?
Not much else today and will be busy for a while before hand. Don't look for much else today either, I guess.
Sorry about the jumbled-ness.
20050611
Ranting: The Incomplete Map
I've given some thoughts to parenting. Namely what the parents are doing (which sometimes they may not be aware of), how they see it, and how we receive it.
The most frequent things parents tell us begin with "Don't". Don't do this, don't do that, and some other grammatically possible variants. It's easy to get annoyed at sentences like that because they reminded us nothing more than restraints, boundaries, and disciplinary rules that we feel are limiting our lives. At a period in time where we seek for answers that are not present (or if present, are not what we are seeking)and explore the boundaries, being reminded of what seems like strict borders that are meant to box us in can be--yes--annoying.
That's not to mention the fact that all the "not" we hear are very discouraging. Negation does have a negative feel to it.
But consider this from a different perspective. Our parents, for all that they are our parents, are still humans with limited knowledge but (hopefully, and true in most cases) more wisedome (sp?) than us. They know, and we know, that the so-called "road of life" is only one possible route on a map of Chance, that there are many "roads less traveled" out there. They only know the road they've traveled and peered down on, and they know their limited knowledge. On the same line, they (at least, some of them) realize that what may worked for them may not necessarily work for their children, and they realize their children are standing at the "crossroad" (I hate the cliches, but some of them do create such nice imagery), exploring, so what they've eventually (consciously or subconsciously) decided to do is warn us. All the "don't do this" and "don't do thats" essentially translates to "watch out, that's a one way street", "pay attention, no U-turn there". They have never seen the completed map of Chance--no human ever will--but they are telling us, from their own experience, which roads we must be wary of, must not travel down because they realized that they can't limit us to the roads they've walked, that we must find our own roads. Because they only see the incomplete map, they can only tell us where not to go and hope that we can find our own way to reach where we want to be.
All the "no"s still sound pretty bad though, but hey, I guess it's either that or getting a metaphorical ticket while driving (it's the 21st century, remember?) the road(s) of life.
There're a heck lot of one-way streets.
The most frequent things parents tell us begin with "Don't". Don't do this, don't do that, and some other grammatically possible variants. It's easy to get annoyed at sentences like that because they reminded us nothing more than restraints, boundaries, and disciplinary rules that we feel are limiting our lives. At a period in time where we seek for answers that are not present (or if present, are not what we are seeking)and explore the boundaries, being reminded of what seems like strict borders that are meant to box us in can be--yes--annoying.
That's not to mention the fact that all the "not" we hear are very discouraging. Negation does have a negative feel to it.
But consider this from a different perspective. Our parents, for all that they are our parents, are still humans with limited knowledge but (hopefully, and true in most cases) more wisedome (sp?) than us. They know, and we know, that the so-called "road of life" is only one possible route on a map of Chance, that there are many "roads less traveled" out there. They only know the road they've traveled and peered down on, and they know their limited knowledge. On the same line, they (at least, some of them) realize that what may worked for them may not necessarily work for their children, and they realize their children are standing at the "crossroad" (I hate the cliches, but some of them do create such nice imagery), exploring, so what they've eventually (consciously or subconsciously) decided to do is warn us. All the "don't do this" and "don't do thats" essentially translates to "watch out, that's a one way street", "pay attention, no U-turn there". They have never seen the completed map of Chance--no human ever will--but they are telling us, from their own experience, which roads we must be wary of, must not travel down because they realized that they can't limit us to the roads they've walked, that we must find our own roads. Because they only see the incomplete map, they can only tell us where not to go and hope that we can find our own way to reach where we want to be.
All the "no"s still sound pretty bad though, but hey, I guess it's either that or getting a metaphorical ticket while driving (it's the 21st century, remember?) the road(s) of life.
There're a heck lot of one-way streets.
Recap: Approaching Normality
While kneeling down to pick up my stuff yesterday I noticed that I have both of my knees bruised. Very interesting...don't think I've ever bruised both of my knees at the same time before but, as they say, there's a first for everthing...from two bruised knees to ice cream at three AM in the morning!
Having no further excuses I was dragged out to practice driving this morning, then went to the SC library then random shopping for supplies. My parents are thinking of buying a camcorder (is that what they're called? The digital video recorder things.) so, anyone have any recommendations? I'm suppose to "ask around" about it.
I have to start re-organizing my room, but I do not know where the heck to begin so ended up sitting in my chair, staring at the wild disarray around me until I pulled out a sheet of paper and a pencil and started drawing. It didn't make my room any neater, but it made me feel better.
Computer has contacted the adware "overpro," am attempting to remove it except my computer doesn't have any of the named .exe or .dll or .inf files, or any of the weird things in the registry so I'm not quite sure what to do now. (But download.overpro still comes up in my browser.)
Note to Kate- if I don't receive an email from you by 6PM today I'll just assume I don't need to buy anything for tomorrow, 'k?
Having no further excuses I was dragged out to practice driving this morning, then went to the SC library then random shopping for supplies. My parents are thinking of buying a camcorder (is that what they're called? The digital video recorder things.) so, anyone have any recommendations? I'm suppose to "ask around" about it.
I have to start re-organizing my room, but I do not know where the heck to begin so ended up sitting in my chair, staring at the wild disarray around me until I pulled out a sheet of paper and a pencil and started drawing. It didn't make my room any neater, but it made me feel better.
Computer has contacted the adware "overpro," am attempting to remove it except my computer doesn't have any of the named .exe or .dll or .inf files, or any of the weird things in the registry so I'm not quite sure what to do now. (But download.overpro still comes up in my browser.)
Note to Kate- if I don't receive an email from you by 6PM today I'll just assume I don't need to buy anything for tomorrow, 'k?
20050610
Recap: Into the Real World
First of all, I'd like to thank all my friends for a WONDERFUL ...what was it...8-8...so twelve hour "evening". It was awesome, more fun than I thought possible for a grad night event, and makes me infinitely glad that I did not chose to go to the school's grad night event.
I have great friends. If you're one of those great people, take the moment and give yourself a pat on the back. Thanks you guys. A lot.
Also thanks to my parents who came, on time, and bought me FLOWERS. (FYI- Asian family don't usually do flowers, neither do they do hugs, which my mother suddenly decided to do yesterday. She was so much more excited than I am; it was interesting.)
Graduation ceremony was a bit disappointing for me first because the practice have completely killed off all sentiments I may have had, which I didn't have that much to begin with. I kept waiting for some sort of emotions to well up, but it never really did. Right after graduation was sort of awkward for me because a lot of the seniors were randomly going around hugging each other and knowing me, you can probably guess what I did: stood stiffly and tried not to feel too awkward.
Went over to Lucy's afterward and had food. Lots of food. (Thanks for putting up with my veggie option, everyone. I'll try to get the memory of physio out of my head as soon as I can.) Watched movies, watched both Kates and Lucy goof around (more entertaining than movies in some cases). At around ten at night we went to one of the barbecue places that we dubbed the "crematorium" and burnt homework (yep I got pictures). It was very emotionally relieving, and for the sheer heck of it (I think we're high on oxygen or something) we were chanting "no more homework" over and over again (not too loud because we did NOT want to attract unwanted attention) and for a brief moment we even ran around the crematorium in an odd cult-like activity (suggested by Kateryna).
Then Christine left when Soniya came, and Kate and I went with Christine while she waited for her father. We saluted them when Christine left because we were there to prove that Christine wasn't waiting in front of the dark school alone and felt that we should perform our honorary duty as her guards or something. Went back and sprinted for a bit for fun and my night vision was so bad I tripped and fell. (At least I didn't do that during the graduation.) Then I knocked over the M&M container while at Lucy's...but at least I wasn't the only person knocking things over, so that was ...more acceptable, I guess.
Watched movies and had snack whenever we felt like it all night, all the way till this morning when I left. (Ice cream at 3am! I've never had ice cream at 3am before! Great moments.) Now I'm at home, finishing uploading all my pictures that I've taken (Yes, they're done, under both "yearbook 2005" and "random stuff". So glad I took backup pics this time, because a lot of the stuff were very blurry due to my slow camera.)while listening to the CD that Kate'd made for everyone (Thanks Kate, the songs are great and the timing is just right!). I haven't slept at all since when I got up at 6 30 yesterday and I think I'm doing a reasonable job of being coherent.
Oh and if you noticed the sudden appearance of proper capitalization, that's partially because too many people have told me how I'm 'legally' an 'adult' now and the irony is getting to me. This is the semblance we must keep in the face of the world. We can pretend to be adults and still stay the same because, you know what, changes like that don't usually happen overnight. (Especially freaky for me because I was awake the whole night.) Also, I figured I own something to my readers to try to make their reading a bit easier. Hope it helps.
Overly long rant, but, of course, no one was required to read the entire thing. If you did, good job!
I have great friends. If you're one of those great people, take the moment and give yourself a pat on the back. Thanks you guys. A lot.
Also thanks to my parents who came, on time, and bought me FLOWERS. (FYI- Asian family don't usually do flowers, neither do they do hugs, which my mother suddenly decided to do yesterday. She was so much more excited than I am; it was interesting.)
Graduation ceremony was a bit disappointing for me first because the practice have completely killed off all sentiments I may have had, which I didn't have that much to begin with. I kept waiting for some sort of emotions to well up, but it never really did. Right after graduation was sort of awkward for me because a lot of the seniors were randomly going around hugging each other and knowing me, you can probably guess what I did: stood stiffly and tried not to feel too awkward.
Went over to Lucy's afterward and had food. Lots of food. (Thanks for putting up with my veggie option, everyone. I'll try to get the memory of physio out of my head as soon as I can.) Watched movies, watched both Kates and Lucy goof around (more entertaining than movies in some cases). At around ten at night we went to one of the barbecue places that we dubbed the "crematorium" and burnt homework (yep I got pictures). It was very emotionally relieving, and for the sheer heck of it (I think we're high on oxygen or something) we were chanting "no more homework" over and over again (not too loud because we did NOT want to attract unwanted attention) and for a brief moment we even ran around the crematorium in an odd cult-like activity (suggested by Kateryna).
Then Christine left when Soniya came, and Kate and I went with Christine while she waited for her father. We saluted them when Christine left because we were there to prove that Christine wasn't waiting in front of the dark school alone and felt that we should perform our honorary duty as her guards or something. Went back and sprinted for a bit for fun and my night vision was so bad I tripped and fell. (At least I didn't do that during the graduation.) Then I knocked over the M&M container while at Lucy's...but at least I wasn't the only person knocking things over, so that was ...more acceptable, I guess.
Watched movies and had snack whenever we felt like it all night, all the way till this morning when I left. (Ice cream at 3am! I've never had ice cream at 3am before! Great moments.) Now I'm at home, finishing uploading all my pictures that I've taken (Yes, they're done, under both "yearbook 2005" and "random stuff". So glad I took backup pics this time, because a lot of the stuff were very blurry due to my slow camera.)while listening to the CD that Kate'd made for everyone (Thanks Kate, the songs are great and the timing is just right!). I haven't slept at all since when I got up at 6 30 yesterday and I think I'm doing a reasonable job of being coherent.
Oh and if you noticed the sudden appearance of proper capitalization, that's partially because too many people have told me how I'm 'legally' an 'adult' now and the irony is getting to me. This is the semblance we must keep in the face of the world. We can pretend to be adults and still stay the same because, you know what, changes like that don't usually happen overnight. (Especially freaky for me because I was awake the whole night.) Also, I figured I own something to my readers to try to make their reading a bit easier. Hope it helps.
Overly long rant, but, of course, no one was required to read the entire thing. If you did, good job!
20050608
Annoucement
oh and of course i won't be updating this tomorrow, for obvious reasons.
just thought i should mention this, just in case.
just thought i should mention this, just in case.
Recap: Photos
uploading photos is hogging up my entire internet connection so i'm not going to take chances with a long post and have it deleted by accident. it suffices to say that today's fun and updates are made in the yearbook 2005 album and the random stuff album.
happy, my impatient friends?
happy, my impatient friends?
20050607
Recap: Free At Last
the last day went rather badly, especially the part where i had to label the cats because those cats didn't look like the one we worked on. given fifteen minutes i might be able to figure out what is what, but having approximately 26 seconds per muscle to identify stuff, i couldn't figure it out.
spanish i couldn've done much better if i didn't start to panic at the last minute, but hey, no use worrying about it now--what's done's done, right?
and now it is almost over. i must catch up on all my other tasks!
today i will:
-finish the cd and send a reply to kate
-clean room (not wait till friday to start sorting papers)
-start cleaning inbox and more file cleaning
-figure out what the heck is happening tomorrow
on the last note, anna and victoria is coming--lucy, we're getting a ride with you to chipotle right? then how're we coming back to valco? group picture. bring money. 10 dollars is probably more than we need but just in case... . anna said her mom can give us a ride too if needed. someone let me know the final decision (regarding the rides).
spanish i couldn've done much better if i didn't start to panic at the last minute, but hey, no use worrying about it now--what's done's done, right?
and now it is almost over. i must catch up on all my other tasks!
today i will:
-finish the cd and send a reply to kate
-clean room (not wait till friday to start sorting papers)
-start cleaning inbox and more file cleaning
-figure out what the heck is happening tomorrow
on the last note, anna and victoria is coming--lucy, we're getting a ride with you to chipotle right? then how're we coming back to valco? group picture. bring money. 10 dollars is probably more than we need but just in case... . anna said her mom can give us a ride too if needed. someone let me know the final decision (regarding the rides).
20050606
Recap: Psychosis
accurate?
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
trait snapshot:
clean, secretive, does not make friends easily, observer, hates large parties, risk averse, perfectionist, reclusive, solitude loving, more practical than abstract, does not like to stand out, high self control, intellectual, mind over heart, very cautious, takes precautions, respects authority, irritable, emotionally sensitive
let's all take the test 1 year later and see if anything changes.
i will hate physio very very much at the end of today. no further comment.
| Advanced Global Personality Test Results
|
personality tests by similarminds.com
trait snapshot:
clean, secretive, does not make friends easily, observer, hates large parties, risk averse, perfectionist, reclusive, solitude loving, more practical than abstract, does not like to stand out, high self control, intellectual, mind over heart, very cautious, takes precautions, respects authority, irritable, emotionally sensitive
let's all take the test 1 year later and see if anything changes.
i will hate physio very very much at the end of today. no further comment.
20050605
Recap: Huh
having no more valid excuses, my mother dragged me outside early this morning to do a round of practice driving. it was my first time. now my parents think that i drove somewhere before which is very flattering but also rather unnerving, seeing how i don't like driving at all (i was so tense during practice that i started giving myself a headache--talk about hyper-stressed individual!). apparently the "professional pilot/navigator" vibe might have more to it than i initially thought.
still never going to fly anything though, over-sensitivity to changes in air pressure.
start studying for physio today. stop halfway to clean up more files and stuff.
oops, and i just remembered i haven't bought the food for grad-night yet. so will do that today too. actually my mother is picking up the stuff for me...so....
next week's schedule is very very messed up. three cheers for watches!
still never going to fly anything though, over-sensitivity to changes in air pressure.
start studying for physio today. stop halfway to clean up more files and stuff.
oops, and i just remembered i haven't bought the food for grad-night yet. so will do that today too. actually my mother is picking up the stuff for me...so....
next week's schedule is very very messed up. three cheers for watches!
20050604
Recap: A Moment More
less homework but somehow more random stuff. also the studying, but i don't really need to crack down on that until tomorrow. have been trying to restore some sort of order to my files and things. very interesting. maybe library today, too.
BEA, lucy? (if you still want to do it.)
BEA, lucy? (if you still want to do it.)
20050603
Recap: What Came
waited out part of first period final in the library with christine and cory and shredded a plastic phone card for fun. (ever shredded a paper for anger management? i think it's the same idea.) the time with christine is, as always, interesting.
during second period ashley borrowed a tie from a guy and practiced trying to put it on. two of the guys remarked that it's fun to watch girls trying to put on ties and i retorted that it's probably the same as watching guys trying to put on dresses and immediately the two guys protested that they don't look that bad in dresses.
i laughed. what else? the fact that they IMMEDIATELY responded...and the content of their response is just too funny.
cat dissection finished! i had to cut through the bone plate and as a result think i will be a vegetarian for at least a month longer....
oh, also! i got my english portfolio stuff and found the short story where adriel medon first showed up. this is what my "peer" had written about it:
well, i managed to keep that bit of history straight over the years, so yay! (i think i need to start a personal timeline for adriel though, because a lot of short chronicals have shown up.)
yearbook? and--lucy, see under yesterday's post under "edit" if you haven't already.
[edit 17 19:]
ELLEN FOSTER- Kaye Gibbons- 126
THE BEEKEEPER'S APPRENTICE- Laurie R. King- 347
ORYX AND CRAKE- Margaret Atwood- 374
forgot when i last updated this, may have missed a few books, but total number missed <5.
during second period ashley borrowed a tie from a guy and practiced trying to put it on. two of the guys remarked that it's fun to watch girls trying to put on ties and i retorted that it's probably the same as watching guys trying to put on dresses and immediately the two guys protested that they don't look that bad in dresses.
i laughed. what else? the fact that they IMMEDIATELY responded...and the content of their response is just too funny.
cat dissection finished! i had to cut through the bone plate and as a result think i will be a vegetarian for at least a month longer....
oh, also! i got my english portfolio stuff and found the short story where adriel medon first showed up. this is what my "peer" had written about it:
...outerspace, on a ship, in the futre, because the date is given and implied...
...Medon's father died and he's going to space, because it's implied and the story said so...
...that he was insecure and ambiguous, he's sensitive and thinks before he acts...
...he's insensitive, not able to think from another point of view...
...he's very loyal to his leaders and there is a strong line of honor in his family...
...Medon's father died and he's going to space, because it's implied and the story said so...
...that he was insecure and ambiguous, he's sensitive and thinks before he acts...
...he's insensitive, not able to think from another point of view...
...he's very loyal to his leaders and there is a strong line of honor in his family...
well, i managed to keep that bit of history straight over the years, so yay! (i think i need to start a personal timeline for adriel though, because a lot of short chronicals have shown up.)
yearbook? and--lucy, see under yesterday's post under "edit" if you haven't already.
[edit 17 19:]
ELLEN FOSTER- Kaye Gibbons- 126
THE BEEKEEPER'S APPRENTICE- Laurie R. King- 347
ORYX AND CRAKE- Margaret Atwood- 374
forgot when i last updated this, may have missed a few books, but total number missed <5.
20050602
Ranting: Age of Information
The more we know, the less we understand. How trues is this statement in today's world?
Humanity is a race that is based on culture, it's how we differentiate ourselves from other species. Culture, along with knowledge, is something that's accumulated over the ages. Already, more years of education are necessary for us to know sufficient informations to function as truly useful member of society. Already some areas, where the information is more obtruse and less used, are glossed over then forgotten because they're not that frequently used anymore, and humans only have a set amount of time to learn, to live.
Time is a limited resource. Humans have accumulated so much that there's more to digest mentally than anyone would ever have time for. Impressive, but also melancholy. As people have hypothesized all life with limited time span lives.
And so, along with neglected arts, what's left is shortened and crammed in. Information rained and no time is allowed for understanding, only absorption for recalling those information in the future. Barely enough time for the people to take that information and make it their own. In the age of information, the foremost definitng characteristics are uncertainty, ambiguity, and, of course, speed.
Rather ironic, isn't it?
[edit 19 09: In response to Lucy's comment]
I looked for you afterschool, couldn't find you, thought about it for a while and reasoned that the chances of you managing to get my pan picture with the presence of Emmert is around null, went, got my cap and gown from the theatre, waited with Ashley and got my pan pic, and asked about the sign-out form while I was there...so I'm more or less set. Thanks though! :-) Bureaucracy always did interfer...
(As for why I'm not sending this to you in an email--wouldn't want to clutter up your inbox more than I need to now, would I?)
On a note that's unrelated to the unrelated note--the pan picture makes me think of a mini-"where's Waldo" game. Sin Waldo, of course.
Humanity is a race that is based on culture, it's how we differentiate ourselves from other species. Culture, along with knowledge, is something that's accumulated over the ages. Already, more years of education are necessary for us to know sufficient informations to function as truly useful member of society. Already some areas, where the information is more obtruse and less used, are glossed over then forgotten because they're not that frequently used anymore, and humans only have a set amount of time to learn, to live.
Time is a limited resource. Humans have accumulated so much that there's more to digest mentally than anyone would ever have time for. Impressive, but also melancholy. As people have hypothesized all life with limited time span lives.
And so, along with neglected arts, what's left is shortened and crammed in. Information rained and no time is allowed for understanding, only absorption for recalling those information in the future. Barely enough time for the people to take that information and make it their own. In the age of information, the foremost definitng characteristics are uncertainty, ambiguity, and, of course, speed.
Rather ironic, isn't it?
[edit 19 09: In response to Lucy's comment]
I looked for you afterschool, couldn't find you, thought about it for a while and reasoned that the chances of you managing to get my pan picture with the presence of Emmert is around null, went, got my cap and gown from the theatre, waited with Ashley and got my pan pic, and asked about the sign-out form while I was there...so I'm more or less set. Thanks though! :-) Bureaucracy always did interfer...
(As for why I'm not sending this to you in an email--wouldn't want to clutter up your inbox more than I need to now, would I?)
On a note that's unrelated to the unrelated note--the pan picture makes me think of a mini-"where's Waldo" game. Sin Waldo, of course.
20050601
Recap: Untitled
today was mostly expected and academic pressure had FINALLY lessened a bit. the bad news seems to be that i have an increase in the amount of tasks to complete. awards night tonight. last meeting of writers' circle today. several ends to wrap up by the end of this week.
ciao.
ciao.
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