Trip to Arizona is a lot smoother this time because I've done the bulk of the route before and retained a vague memory of where the rest spots and gas stations are (or more specifically, which point has cheaper gas than the rest of the route -- v. important these days with the 4$+ / gal pricing). This time I also had the benefit of taking the same route both ways, which means I get to drive through a part of I8 in the morning light, which is quite pretty. There were wisps of very dense fog on the ground, but only enough wisps to look fantastic and poetical under the sun and the blue, blue sky. There were also a couple areas with deciduous trees with bright gold leaves tucked into the nooks of the mountain, which I missed completely last year on the account of the sun being in my eye when I drove through that area in the evening.
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So hey, I got here after all
Remember when, over two years ago, I made a post and outed myself as being asexual? Specifically, remember this quote?
Well in the past 2+ years I have passed both my qualifying and candidacy exam, grown older physically and mentally, dealt with minor verbal harassment on the bus, taught undergrads (who, in my opinion, utterly failed to appreciate the magic of genetics), tested up one rank in martial arts (due for another exam in December, oh dear God), presented at two different conferences, ventured into online dating, washed my hands of online dating, while keeping up my schedule of explaining to my parents that I don't wish to get married and have babies at least twice a year while THEY are still at the point where they are supportive of everything I do without letting go of the belief that asexuality is something I'll "grow out of". Well my mother anyway. Father dear who checks over my car every time we see each other and spent the day before we meet making all my favorite dishes still declines to acknowledge that I've said anything about my sexual orientation at all. It's a shaky sort of passive aggressive peace at my household.
As I was typing up the other post trying to explain to people, most of whom I've never even met in real life, that asexuality is a valid orientation and not a form of repression, I remembered all of this. All of which reminded that me at this point I've learned to be more assertive and be more comfortable in my own skin so I should let people know that there's no need to be super careful around me regarding this anymore. I don't think I'll ever be what people consider to be "normal", but I feel astonishingly well-adjusted and capable of dealing with whatever people choose to throw at me. So, discussion & teasing are fine, questions are fine (actually more than fine because that way I will know where I'm unclear and will have a chance to explain). I want to be a person who's comfortable with herself and now I realize that I am one step closer.
I think this calls for celebratory tea.
Oh and just so you know, despite of the fact that I am comfortable enough with this aspect of myself to write a post on the internet, I'm not at that point where I'm okay with people teasing me about it yet, however well meaning they may be.
Well in the past 2+ years I have passed both my qualifying and candidacy exam, grown older physically and mentally, dealt with minor verbal harassment on the bus, taught undergrads (who, in my opinion, utterly failed to appreciate the magic of genetics), tested up one rank in martial arts (due for another exam in December, oh dear God), presented at two different conferences, ventured into online dating, washed my hands of online dating, while keeping up my schedule of explaining to my parents that I don't wish to get married and have babies at least twice a year while THEY are still at the point where they are supportive of everything I do without letting go of the belief that asexuality is something I'll "grow out of". Well my mother anyway. Father dear who checks over my car every time we see each other and spent the day before we meet making all my favorite dishes still declines to acknowledge that I've said anything about my sexual orientation at all. It's a shaky sort of passive aggressive peace at my household.
As I was typing up the other post trying to explain to people, most of whom I've never even met in real life, that asexuality is a valid orientation and not a form of repression, I remembered all of this. All of which reminded that me at this point I've learned to be more assertive and be more comfortable in my own skin so I should let people know that there's no need to be super careful around me regarding this anymore. I don't think I'll ever be what people consider to be "normal", but I feel astonishingly well-adjusted and capable of dealing with whatever people choose to throw at me. So, discussion & teasing are fine, questions are fine (actually more than fine because that way I will know where I'm unclear and will have a chance to explain). I want to be a person who's comfortable with herself and now I realize that I am one step closer.
I think this calls for celebratory tea.
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