Recap: Another Count Down

quite odd. three days of supposid resting and i come back swaying on my feet, my brain bleeps at me to take a break before it's even been four pm yet and i reek of formaldehyde.

ah yes, the joys of schooling. does that answer your question, anna?

meanwhile, i am deeply resentful against the spanish substitute. his insults have become downright tiresome. first of all, he'd tell us how much he's suffering because he's not allow to say certain things to us (in other words, insult us a certain way) and we are allowed to say those things to him, then he'd insult us. so far he'd covered how spoiled we are, how unoriginal our generation is, and how utterly stupid and predictable we are. his disparaging "geez you GUYS..." is the fuel for my sarcasm. i usually spent 80% of my time in that class practicing my rubik's cube now.

it's all very well that he is opinionated, but when his opinion interfers with his work as it should be, there are some problems.

Non Sequitor: For English AP

This is the letter I typed for the future English AP students. After I'm done I skimmed over it and found it very amusing (don't know what I was thinking when I was writing it, but there it is). See what you think:

To the future English AP student,


If you happen to be the sort that likes to push the deadlines (a.k.a. --you procrastinate), I suggest that you start buying coffee right now. Or some other type of legal stimulant that will achieve a similar response. English AP will turn out just fine if you do your readings on time, start your essays on time, and avoid 90% of your procrastination tendencies. However, since this is the same advice that goes out every year and since it is a fact that these type of advice are generally ignored by teens (who are, of course, notorious for their procrastination skills in term of academics), I suggest stocking up on supplies that will enable you to stay up all night with a clear head. Don't type up your essay when your mind is bleeping for sleep--Mrs. Stebbins can tell and such a blatant declaration of your procrastination abilities will result in no positive changes for your grade.

As for the class itself…it's mainly analysis. Analysis in the form of essays, in the form of "ways to check if you've read your book" (we don't call them quizzes here), analysis in the forms of projects and, of course, analysis in the forms of essays. The level of analysis will, of course, be a step up. It'd feel like you're analyzing your analysis most of the time, and trying to support them with all the details that you can drag out. However, at the end of the year you will realize that the hardest essay of the AP test is the one that you're most prepared for, so it works out logically. The discussions (take up most of the class time in this course) are fun. You'd have to concentrate a bit at times to follow the logic, but the ideas that show up at the end are generally worth it.

Oh, and the books we read (since this is AP) can be gritty so, unless you are an extremely good speed-reader, breezing through the book is definitely NOT recommended. However, re-reads are, but that doesn't appeal to people much. Another note--pay special attention to quotes: if there's a strange quote somewhere with references and allusions that you don't really understand, either spend some times pondering it or bring it up in the discussions because those sort of things show up quite frequently in the tests and "reading checks."

If you have any other questions, Mrs. Stebbins is quite open to tutorial and after school help. (And yes, you will probably be asked to write a letter to the future students, offering "candid advice" at the end of your year too.) There is not much else about this class that you'll need to know that won't become obvious within the first week, so --'luck!

Ranting: Enough Is Enough

This is related to a short write-up that I did on "greed" a while ago in economy class, mainly to re-examine the idea of greed and the question of "how much is enough". I find the idea of greed a bit paradoxical (sp?) now and have been trying to work it out because greed, I realized is the cause of both progression and retrogression of humanity.

Now, I asked myself, how, exactly does that work out?

Our arboreal ancestors were greedy, they wanted more food, better chances of survival, and so put their primate brains together and thought something up. I imagine standing up is a good invention because it made the erect animal look much bigger than it does wen it's hunched down, and thus can scare away a few preditors. Same with fire, I suppose. Up with the survival rate.

Nowadays though, we're greedy in almost the same way, for slightly different things. We want things cheaper, why? So we can afford more of them. We want things fast, why? So we can spend more time consuming other goods and services. But it is these greed that drives our advancements in technology. What the consumer wants, the producers deliver in a competitive market (notice the the omission of the word "perfectly"), and what the consumer wants that a profit-earnign producer can't yet produce, the producer will want to set aside a portion of its profits for research, to produce that wanted-and-not-yet-available good. They know there's a market out there, and they intend to reach it. Why? Profit. Why? More money. Why? So they, in turn, can spend more and consume more. It goes in a nice spiral. One has to admire the symmetry of it.

However, it's also greed that causes the setbacks in human progression. Here I will insert double volume of my opinion, stand warned.

War is a waste of time and resources. Despite of what other people say, war still originate because there are some people out there who want what they can't currently have. They're greedy, they want what they can't have, they fight. We have war. Greed is also the source (or should I say "a source") of depravity in humanity. Corruption and illegal markets are all ways for the few extra-greedy individuals to earn more. Again, follow the same logic: more earning = more money = higher consumption.

An interesting idea to consider is, while greed is providing the incentives for progression, the same greed is undercutting the incentives for progression by retrogression. Think rent-seeking behavior: the companies earning a profit will want to lobby the congress to keep making a profit. Had all of the resources been employed for developmental research, I'm sure our technology would be increasing faster than they are now.

In the end? I have reached a somewhat disturbing conclusion in the forms of a few statements. 1. Greed (some call it the "urge", don't ask me why) is hard-wired into the brain, meaning that it's here to stay. 2. Therefore the current trend will, in all likelihood, continue. 3. Therefore, what we will see is a continued advancement of technology and a a continued decrease of morality.

We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institute of the universe.

-Johann von Goethe

Recap: Bio-active

went to davis yesterday again and wandered around on campus, downtown, throughout much of the city in general, had ice cream even though it was a bit chilly, saw no cows and foresee no likely chances of seeing any in the near future. nope, still didn't buy a sweatshirt because 1. the store on campus is closed for the holiday weekend and 2. the other shops are out of the size "small" and after contemplating the medium size for a few moments i decided i should just wait. or order online, if that turns out to be an option.

my mother noted that davis seems very "bio-active" (direct translation from chinese) because she saw ducks and dogs and squirrels within ten minutes of our arrival. she meant that there were a lot of active biological organisms. i think.

and that brings me up to today, which roughly includes finishing up and attempting to mend the grammar of my english anthology (lucy, i'm afraid i'll be bothering you about grammar through AIM well throughout my college years), attempting to memorize some muscle names, and room cleaning.

maybe a rant later.

Annoucement

if i come back very late or very tired tomorrow i'll not write up a post. so, just in case you come here tomorrow and sees this message, instead of something else, don't worry.

i'm alive and likely to stay that way.

Recap: Uh...

i was going to do a rant but then i realized the sheer AMOUNT of things i have to do online and an hour later found myself completely overwhelmed and so i say, what the heck, i'll do it some other day.
ideas don't die, or they're not suppose to.

the lit review was very much messed up. here's what two of the guy's questions were:
"t/f, we finished reading WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINAL WOOLF on dec. 8th."
answer, true (and we were not allowed to access an agenda of any kind while answering.
"t/f, two people were caught making out outside during a quiz."
answer, false, it was during an ESSAY.

ha. such good reviewing. i can drown in my own sarcasm.

Recap: In the Spirit of Rebellion

i don't try to not eat lunch on time. it happens. planned lunching hours fall victim to circumstances.

on a tangent: just when they tell you that after this it'll be all over. done. finished. you can relax afterwards, then, as soon as you finished this, they say no, wait, it's not done it. just a little bit more.
the amount of patience with wishy-washy promises as date approaches graduation equals zero.
heh.

meanwhile, sweet grape tomatos are very tasty. and the mystery to flower pot #3 is solved.

Recap: Invisible

you know, i think today's the first time i've actually talked to the principal face to face, as in directly addressing him and have him address me back.
considering how it went, that is probably a good thing. i don't like him.

the dress/pants issue isn't "that" important, per se, i'm very annoyed with it, i'm still considering not going to the graduation, but i think i probably will go, now that i've "chilled" down a bit. if nothing else, i do own that to my parents and my faraway relatives who will probably want to see pictures. there is something about mr. principal's tone and expression as he answered me that spiked my temper. i think it's the slight hint at being condescening, but it may be other things. he makes me feel that i am nothing more than an invisible member of this group of students that must be instructed to behave exactly as it should. to him, sure, it is that way, but to me, it makes me down right resentful.

highschool supposidely propares you for life. well then, there's another lesson of what it's going to be like "out there."

end raving.

Non Sequitor: Emails

What Came In The Mail Today

> 1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
> Sunglasses on and point
> >>>hair dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow
> Down.
> 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise
> Your Voice.
> 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask
> If They Want Fries
> >>>with that.
> 4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It
> "In."
> 5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once
> Everyone has Gotten
> >>>over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to
> Espresso.
> 6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For
> Smuggling
> >>>Diamonds"
> 7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance
> With The Prophecy."
> 8. Don't use any punctuation
> 9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
> 10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat
> with a serious face.
> 11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To
> Go."
> 12. Sing Along At The Opera.
> 13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems
> Don't Rhyme
> 14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And
> Play tropical
> >>> sounds all day.
> 15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You
> Can't Attend Their
> >>> Party Because You're Not In The Mood.
> 16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your
> Wrestling Name, Rock
> >>> Bottom.
> 17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I
> Won!, I Won!"
> 18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The
> Parking lot,
> >>> Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
> 19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The
> Economy, We Are Going
> >>> To Have To Let One Of You Go."
> 20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of
> Insanity.......
> Send This E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile.
> Its Called therapy.
>

Ranting: Equity of Fairness

One of the first things we learn in life is that life isn't fair. Rather sad, really, and very disillusioning for many (though it will only be the first of many illusions to go). Some people, for instance, are able to grow up with a life that has every semblance of being perfect, while others are dragged through living hell. (Sure it builds character, but I believe most would prefer to avoid this character-building experience.) What decides what sort of life a person will live? (As in, from birth.) Fate? Possibly. Whatever extraordinary forces that governs this is clearly a force that no human can hope to control.

So. Life isn't fair. Some end up with a live that others envy and others live a life that others may only see in their nightmares (or horror movies/documentaries on the discovery channel, I suppose). Clearly one kind of life will involve more problems than the other, just as it's obvious that one person will deserve more sympathy than the other.

Then you look at the scene from another angle: The person who grows up with multiple problems has a character that runs well-deep (yes, the character building, unfortunately, is true) and as a result is more better at dealing with problems. Better in the sense that they are better adapted to meet the problems, more used to it. It would take quite a lot of wind to stir up their depth, if we're to extend the water analogy. Contrarily, one who has had a perfect life may be analogous to a shallow dish of water (no disrespect on the individual, it's just how each develope under their given circumstances). Every ripple that crosses the surface will seem like mountain-sized waves that stirs the depth quite thoroughly....

Don't laugh at other people's "petty" problems, to the individual, it may seem the whole world. Don't laugh at them without thinking that you worries and fears may seem no more than a trivial matter to someone else out there.

It's a big, big world. Lots of people. Lots of lifes. No control of lives, either.
Tends to be a bit chaotic at times, no?

Try to sort it out, I think I got a bit confused half-way through.

Recap: Another Monday

suppose there's no letting up of the workload, is there?
well math's almost over. econ is...strange. still have to do work though. spanish is a source of "i don't know what the heck we're doing"s and the rest...well...the rest...

almost graduating and still got loads of forms to fill out for colleges and no response yet about the honors program thing. i resent forms. i will be filling out forms for the rest of my life though, so that's not a good attitude, i suppose. must be more optimistic about forms. think that's possible?

countdowns again. why's so much of our life countdowns?
i've stopped making sense now, so i should just stop.

[edit 16 14:] will wear lunatics shirt tomorrow.

Poem: Culture

"Culture"

You can loose the land:

the buildings, the gardens,

the paved city square;

(History as my witness,
such things have happened.)

You can loose the wealthy:

the gold lost, currency gained,

and money lost again;

(Time will see to it,
if nothing else will.)

But you cannot

cannot, I repeat

loose the memories:

The language, the musics,
the past.
(Though the threads that weave the tapestry
have been much neglected of late.)

It is only when people forget

when people forget

that all is truly lost.

Recap: Untitled

off to painting session 9 30 -14 00, but i'm going earlier still because my mother has to go to the bank anyway. nothing else for today i think, some room cleaning and some homework. lucy, want to check over my anthology's grammar sometime in the future?

finished reading:
a book of luminous things- czeslaw milosz- 306
the yellow arrow- victor pelevin- 92 (kate, you should read this)
stardust- neil gaiman- 235
good omens- terry pratchett and neil gaiman

currently reading:
the bonfire of the vanities- tom wolfe- 690

Recap: Reality-Free

today is suppose to be stress-free day, except now they call it "spring-fling". do you think they caught up to our sarcasm regarding the name "stress-free"? there were people around, handing out balloons that said "have a happy day" or some equally cheery messages. i had one test, two quizzes, and a term paper due today.

oh yes. such is life.

and i realized...you can tell you're grown up when you start receiving advertisements addressed to you in mail (as in snail mail). not your parents, not your address, to you, with your name on it. (speaking of which, i have no clue how they got my name, let along spelled it correctly, which is slightly scary.) ah yes, childhood's definitely passing me by. add that to the list of reasons why junk mail are hated, please.

another day. another week. happy friday, everyone.

Poem: Complicated

"Complicated"

She told me

How simple life is

And I

And I

Laughed until I nearly cried

But there is not such a difference
Between laughing and crying

Is there?

Between dreaming and waking

Living and dying

No
There is no great difference

To some

That is simplicity

To some

It is complication

if i did a recap today it'll be just complaints, so i thought i'd save myself the time and you the pain of reading it. oh, and luck with everything, lucy. tell your mother that i said "get well soon!" please.

Ranting: Faith

Gosh I haven't done this for a while, have I?

I was considering the fact how everyone needs something to believe in. Whether it be religion, science, a person, love, etc. Even the nihilists believes in something: they believe in nothing. (Trust me on the logic, it works.) People place faith in things that they find either within themselves or around them, somewhere in the world...and I'm wondering...can people get by without faith? Without believing in something?

It makes me wonder about human nature. Humans are technically animals, but we don't generally think of animals having faith or believing in things. We're pretty sure that gorillas, our closest cousins in terms of evolution, have developed no unique religions of their own. What is it that makes us so different then? Self-awareness? Or is it just simply awareness? And how does that relate? Is it because by being aware we must also become aware of what not only will be useful to us, but our own lackings as well, and therefore needs to.... No, that isn't it, for believing in yourself is believing in something too. Belief, I suppose, is a type of awareness...or a complication of becoming aware.

And so, when people belief in not believing, have faith in faithlessness (is that even a word?) what is that thare they're contradicting?

Recap: Buscando

one more thing off of the list. one more thing on it. sometimes you can't tell if you're making progress at all, unless you count the progression of time....

ha.

i like this quote, taken from good omens by neil gaiman and terry pratchett:

If you want to imagine the future, imagine a boy and his dog and his friends. And a summer that never ends.

And if you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot...no, imagine a sneaker, laces trailing, kicking a pebble; imagine a stick, to poke at interesting things, and throw for a dog that may or may not decide to retrieve it; imagine a tuneless whistle, pounding some luckless popular song into insensibility; imagine a figure, half angle, half devil, all human...

Slouching hopefully towards Tadfield....

...Forever.

and yes, i still think aziraphale sounds like a brand of medicine/duct tape. azrael is sort of interesting though...

BUT I, he said, AM NOT LIKE THEM. I AM AZRAEL, CREATED TO BE CREATION'S SHADOW. YOU CANNOT DESTROY ME. THAT WOULD DESTROY THE WORLD.

a fair warning to all, i suppose.

touche.

Recap: Disillusioned

i am very disillusioned about the post-ap time period. especially for math. goodness, you'd think after four years, college application, fiancial aid forms, and the normal stress dealing with the aps, we'd get a little break. well, apparently, summer break doesn't really start until summer, in which case i get a break only in the sense of academics, as in that i won't have to put up with tests and projects anymore. otherwise, my break can't be fuller of things that i HAVE to do.

susan complaining? oh yes. i feel like i'm entitled to vent at least once in a while. that's why most people got online journals isn't it? to vent.

now, on a completely unrelated note, has anyone ever tried pineapple flavoured soda? it is pale yellow, bubbly, and tastes nothing like pineapples--but i like it. the flavour i mean. the very artifically sweet, i can't quite put my fingers on its type of fruity flavor. strange.

oh well, i'm off to spend more time with the main causes of the subject in paragraph one of today's entry.

Poem: What I Offer

"What I Offer"


Words. Images Ideas.
These are what I offer
to the world.
Things shaped out by
my hands and my mind,
Things shaped out of
what is immaterial
what will not last.

Take it.
The gift is given freely.

Hopes. Dreams. Aspirations.
These are what I offer
to all who can understand.
Things seen by
an open mind,
Things cherished by
an open heart
willingly.

Take it.
In acceptance it gains immortality.

It's worth being a blog-fan just because they allow you html tags in the create-post text box.

Recap: Oregano

like oregan with an "o".

term paper, library, safeway, term paper, airport, term paper, kate's place. that was yesterday. (which reminds me: kate, DON'T scratch...especially since you're probably going to end up shedding anyway.) i wish i know what the heck the teacher wants for the appendix, but then, physio instructions are always a bit of a mystery. it's sherlock holmes-worthy.

i've reduced my reading list from 80-something to 70-something. yay for me.

anyway: pictures of the prom? anyone?

Poem: That Sunny Place

"That Sunny Place"

The car speeds down the road
-that was gray
Sunshine glistening through the air
The sky--pale-blue--flawless and still.
The glass is clear and it reflects
Scenes flashes by outside
Lasting
-but a moment
-there--it's gone.
Palm trees and orange groves
Structures of glass and steel
-serene
-erect
-alien.
Cars passed by, humming
Trailing light like a shooting star
Blinding
-just a moment
-there--it's gone.

It's Other
It's here.
It is what people calls it.
It is what people makes it.

The car speeds down the road.
______________________________________________

[FYI: I was on highway 101.]

Annoucement

the greatest journal will get abandoned. i'm not closing it down, but it's going to be mostly just there...as an existance, now. all of my posts will end up here and the gj will be a sort of post it board...you'll see how that works later.

blogger got rid of the old calender system so now looking for a specific old post is a bit of a pain, to make it slightly easier i'm going to adopt the gj post naming system (with a slight variation, of course) here, and we'll see how that goes. i'm going to write a poem, but that'll be in the next post, so in the future i can actually look it up in the post index.

6 12

i have no idea what i was doing awake that early, but i think i slept though the entire night without moving at all, which, all things considered, is very very rare.

check for flying pigs, lucy.

so. like this new layout? too bright and cheery perhaps? anyone had a heartattack? this is my 11th-grade level stuff, altered a little. but, fear not, when the academics begin again in september you'll see a return of the dark sci-fi style...at my senior year level...and you can judge for yourself if i've gotten any better.

If only, if only, the moon speaks no reply;
Reflecting the sun and all that's gone by.
Be strong my weary wolf, turn around boldly.
Fly high, my baby bird,
My angel, my only.
-Holes- Louis Sachar

i really liked that stanza.... speaking of which:

At night I stared up at the darkened ceiling
until I saw a shooting star, which then, conforming to the laws of self-combustion,
would flash--before i'd even made a wish--
across my cheek and down onto my pillow.
-"In the Lake District"- Joseph Brodsky

enough.

good grief

happy the friday the 13th, ladies and gentlemen. raise your hand if you've noticed....

oddly enough, i think today has been the best day so far this week. in terms of things reaching a finale, anyhow. we're starting on math again, review some polar and differential equation stuff before we start doing rubik's cube. mr.a had food for us in third, which was very nice of him. he made smoothies for everyone. i had some. it tasted much better than it looked.

left immediately after cat dissection to go and career shadow soniya's mother. she's very nice and gave me loads of stuff so at least i won't have to worry about the content of my paper. how many pages are we suppose to have? two? four? janson moved the term paper deadline back anyhow (yes lucy, i know that because she mentioned it to our class during class time). but because of physio, i missed lit. is it safe to presume that all we did is to read the play? any homework?


and still, somehow, i kept up on my readings.

currently finished reading (in chronological order):

candide- voltaire- 120
dragons of autumn twilight- margaret weis & tracy hickman- 404
holes- louis sachar- 232 (finished last night in two hours because of the neighbor's horrible lack of piano playing skills)


currently reading:
a book of luminous things- czeslaw milosz- 306

dimishing marginal utility

so ends our ap season. but the test was this afternoon and so by 17 00 i still haven't eaten lunch yet, having just returned home, changed egroup configurations, checked email, scanned documents, taken a shower, and attempted to figure out that the heck is going to be happening the next three days.
a lot of stuff apparently. much more than i had anticipated.

i was very hungry, so i went to eat a slice of bread and drank a cup of soda first. the sugar is needed to carry me through the rest of the day.

so: weekend: tomorrow. career shadow. grocery shopping. lots of homework trying to free up about 8 hours of saturday's time. cooking with kate (medieval styled!). sunday. more work. i'm getting behind in stuff and that's not a good sign. oh and there're still forms for college that i have to fill out...

i'm reaching my stage two about now. hopefully no nightmares tonight though.


oh yes. good luck anna! no matter where you choose. i'll be very glad when the whole thing is over and hope that you'll be the same. chin up?

over the TLV

breathing in too much of any short of chemical, even oxygen, can be bad for you. breathing in something that's used as a preservative can have no good impact on the body.
waaaaay out of homeostasis.

on top of that, i'd like to add the complaint that thanks to physio, i will have no chance at "relaxation" right after the APs. career shadow essay this friday, term paper due next tuesday, extra credit essay due sometimes in the much-to-near-for-my-comfort future. that's not to add the two networking essays (one project, one extra credit) that i need to do. notice a trend? what IS it with useless classes and writing projects that zone in on the formatting? (yes in networking too.)
for heaven's sake...you'd think good content'd be worth more.

will be trying to sing "visa para un sueno", but i desperately need to find either a mp3 or wav format of the file. all helps welcome.

speaking of which, i have another ap test tomorrow, don't i?

3

paul should seriously consider dropping his homework issue. i wonder if he realizes that the longer he drags it on, the less popularity he'll gain?

i spilled coffee during lunch today and spent some time cleaning it up. my hands smelled like coffee, but thanks to that, they no longer smelled of formaldehyde (sp?), and that smell is starting to make me sick....

more projects, what fun.
and so the last month shall be my month of public humiliation. what fun.

4

why is it that i can't do anything smart without doing something stupid along with it? is this what they call the "balance of nature"? i hope not.

it's very strange to be getting nothing in math and in english. strange, but very pleasant. unlike the cat dissection. physio is just getting to be more and more of a hassle...along with spanish.

this is my week to attempt to get everything back under control, which, i realized, is going to be an up-hill battle every inch of the way.
at least i'm not wearing roller blades.

and thanks, lucy.

quote taken from the introduction of a book of luminous things (thanks kate):

"The world deprived of clear-cut outlines, of the up and the down, of good and evil, succumbs to a peculiar nihilization, that is, it loses its colors, so that grayness covers not only things of this earth and of space, but also the very flow of time, its minutes, days, years."

commentary

i am re-realizing just how seriously addicted i am to books.
sounds geeky, doesn't it?

but after reading two books in two days i finished the experience with the incredulous feeling that THIS is what i have been missing out on for almost two and a half months and it just feel so wonderful to read something for fun again! i felt more inspired today than i have felt for a long time. i actually drew a picture that i saw in my head, not just because i'm too stressed and need the therapeutic value of art.

it's almost as if i've been wandered away from this place and now i've returned again. it's good to be back, what can i say? i think that's where my home is, in la-la land, qua fantasy realm, qua books.
how convenient that books are portable.

end rant. and yes i just felt the need to rant about it because it feel so GOOD. (sounds very uncharacteristic of me, doesn't it?)

5

voltaire. is. just. great.
this is taken from the work candide:

"But for what purpose was the earth formed?" asked candide.
"To drive us mad," replied Martin.

it has the sort of tone like catch 22 but it's much less distorted and easier to understand. you have to laugh at the absurdities...and if you're good at making connections, you'll laugh twice at hard...because you'll realize how much of those absurdities exist in today's world which is...how many years since this is written?

yes rhetorical question.

studying mostly today. maybe some physio stuff.
if we're going to watch movies next friday, which theatre are we going to?

6

tick tock.

i will be visiting the library this morning (kate, aren't you jealous?) and then, along the way, picking up a box of gloves for the dissection project, et cetera. then, it's spanish project time este tarde. i'll be at my computer, of course, but i'll be attempting to write up a report in spanish. thankfully we have a spanish speaker in our group who agreed to check my grammar. rather sad, isn't it? grammatical problems in three languages. mother thinks i should just stick to one and get it perfectly right, but i think i'll never reach that point anyway, so i might as well as learn more interesting stuff.

one week, ladies and gentlemen.
reminder to kate: recipes. inbox. somewhere?

7

just a week left of the testing craze, and then afterwards, perhaps things will tune down a bit. or not. physio seems determined to strangle whatever sprouts of senoritis that i could nourish before they ever had a chance to develope.
ah well. life is life. it's what you do about what happens to you.

to-day i will see how much makeup work (because i missed classes for the ap tests) that i can finish...and how much homework. then this weekend...

ashley has a good point: take things one day at a time.

[edit 17 53]
begging your pardons...

this is what i put on my term paper:
"i hope not to inform only myself, but others as well"
this is what janson put i should write:
"i hope to not only inform myself, but others as well"

i recall reading something once about not splitting up the infinitives, is it me, her, or is there another grammatical exception that i am not aware of?

8

so it goes, another day.

the room was cold. very cold. i shivered through my first essay because of the cold, possibly making my handwriting even less legible. it was still cold after the first essay, but i didn't notice it anymore.

afterwards i thought, hey, there's some time left. we got a spanish project this monday, a group project, and the rough draft is due next monday and i've been missing a lot of spanish, so i should go to spanish and see if i can help. sounds reasonable? i thought so too. i went. the teacher wasn't there. we had a sub and there's no way in the world that i can clearly explain to her why i, a senior, after taking an ap test, went to spanish when i don't have to. the people in the class told me i shouldn't have come so, with a mental shrug, i left and joined lucy and victoria at lucy's place.

originally we were to stay through 7th to finish skinning our cat, but the teacher didn't so up. so? another shrug, and off we go.

here i am. it's been a rough week, i can tell you, and workload's still growing.
stop feeding it, please.

9

some experiences are just so much more trouble than they're worth. the cat dissection, frankly put, is quite, quite disgusting. i have to go in at 7th tomorrow to finish the skinning. janson calls for the use of hands to separate the skin away from the adipose layer, by tearing. everytime i remember what it felt/looked like i start to get goose bumps. the sensation of adipose separating and squishing away under your finger is nauseating.
for those of you who aren't yet aware of this yet, i'm going vegetarian. i've been a vegetarian for 3 days now (i still eat fish though) and am likely to remain one until i can completely banish the images of the parts of the cat dissection that i saw/see/will be seeing from my mind. and considering how long i had "a dios le pido" stuck in my head, we're looking at well into the summer here. in other words, kate, when looking at a recipe.... heh, no worries, actually, we're probably going to stick with mostly snacks anyway.

english tomorrow...
the quote i got from ms. stebbins is: no i am not prince hamlet, nor was meant to be.
appropriate, isn't it?

10

as l. m. montgomery once wrote, "but when things begin to happen they are apt to keep on."

well, i'm resigned to my fate, i suppose, so bring it on.

11

we diced an sheep's kidney in physio today. it smelled quite nasty, thank you for asking.

the first test is tomorrow, i shall wear my "lunatic" shirt for good luck...which reminds me...

GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

12

studying. the whole day. what fun.

[14 07]
i think marginal utility is already setting in, lucy.
and for the econ quizzes, how is it that i've done my tests yesterday but have not yet received any emails yet?
it's making me nervous.