Recap: The Joy of Online Shopping

I'm a little short on patience right now. Consider that a fair warning.

I would like to take a few minutes to write that shopping for a notebook online with my parents was enough to give me homicidal tendencies. This is my recap of the entire process because, goodness knows, I need to vent before I give myself serious psychological scarring.

The entire experience unfolds as follows:

Week 1:

MOTHER: You're going away to college, it's time to get you a laptop.
FATHER: We've been thinking about it, Company A is probably the best brand.
I: Okay.
M: So what kind of laptop do you want?
I: ...Company A's...?
M: Here's a catalogue, pick one and we'll look it up online this weekend.
I: You guys can pick (since both of you are in the computer industry and knows more about software and hardware than me), I'm sure whatever you picked's fine.
M: No, you have to pick, since you'll be using it.
I: I just want something that can keep up with my typing speed and doesn't crash every time I open IE and photoshop at the same time. Just order for me, please.
M: Pick, it's for your own good. [Insert lecture about decisions and responsibilities. Hands over massive pile of catalogues]

Week 2:
I: Okay, this one.
M: On the second thought, here's Company B's catalogue, they have this laptop that's exactly the same as that one from A except it's lighter.
F: Pricing?
M: More expensive, but it's got better display. What about memories? Do you want to upgrade it? Are you okay with 1.4 processor or should we try 1.6?
I: The original one's fine.
M: Have you even looked at it yet?? I did all this research you know.... [insert lecture about parental appreciation and 'it's all for your own good anyway' lecture]

Week 3:
M: Okay, Company A, variation 1, are you sure?
I: Yes.
M: Really sure? I'm ordering now.
I: Yes!!
M: Actually, have you seen variation 2? It's got longer battery life....
I: [sighs] Pricing?
M: Don't worry about pricing. Oh, have you seen variation 3? It's like 2 except with 60 gig harddrive instead of 40.
I: Fine, order that.
M: What? What about variation 1?
I: Just order something (this is about 5 hours later, at NIGHT), tonight, please, I need to go to sleep now.
M: Patience! Have you even looked at what I mentioned about 2 and 3? I can't look at them simultaneously...how you open a new browser window? (She knows how, but she asks stuff like this, continuously. I don't know why.)
I: I've been staring at it for the past hour, variation 1 is fine, please order it.
M: Hmm, but what about these...?
I: Just order one for me, I'll be fine with whatever you ordered. I'm going to bed now, good night.
M: (this's the next day) [insert major lecture about patience and parental appreciation.] So, what do you think about variation 2 of company B?
I:....?!
M: It seems actually quite good, you know. Take a look.

Week 4:
M: I'm ordering Company A, variation 2.
I: Fine.
M: I'm ordering now.
I: Yes.
M: (an hour later) I'm thinking about the battery life, do you want to upgrade the battery life?
I: Sure.
M: (another hour later) Are you fine with original OS?
I: Yes.
M: (another hour) can I use your computer to print something out? (My printer is currently the only normally functioning one in the house.) I want to compare variation 1 and 2.
I: [counts doubles] Okay.
M: (half an hour) You don't really need to upgrade the memory, the RAMs are the same, we can upgrade it ourselves later if you need more.
I: Fine.
M: (five minutes later) The system doesn't have a separate video memory, I'm not sure if you'll understand this but [Insert techno-babble about video display with regards to processor speed and RAM] but I think the original should be enough, though.
I: Fine.
M: (another hour) Can you come and read the warranty? And the rebate? I'm not sure what it says.
I: Ookay. [Goes and translate warranty, rebate, contract, and then the ads for variation 1, 2, and 3 at mother's request]
M: You're sure variation 2's okay?
I: Yes!
M: You're dad says 40 gig should be enough for you, if you want it later we can upgrade it later to 80 gig.
I: Later? Again?
M: Wait.
M: (10 minutes later) Never mind, 60 gig it is. You need to be more patient.

And it goes on and on and on and on until one morning I woke up to find that the order has been miraculously placed the night before after I've declared myself exhausted and went to bed. Maybe it's the fact that my parents seldom buys things over 100 dollars. Maybe it's because (or do I overly flatter myself?) that I'm going to college and they want to make a big deal anything remotely related to it.
My poor father's been discretely removed from this joyous experience by the end of the second week. I envy him.

Week 5:
(2 days after laptop arrive [i.e. today])
M: have you seen the ad from Company B? They issued a new coupon for their laptops.
I: [count to doubles] ................

Either way, it drives me nuts.
I am going to stick to my laptop for the next four years even if it kills me because I don't want to go through the experience again which WILL kill me. With impatience.

Please. Spare the lecture.