Some thoughts on the Lunatics story

I will have about four weeks this holiday break, which is an anomaly that, I'm convinced, will not happen again for the rest of my graduate career. So, I said to myself, four weeks, what should I do?

Of course, my thought inevitably wandered back to Lunatics Story, which is still tagged "work in progress." In all honesty, I have not touched the story since October has started, even back when I do have all the guys in my head (still sounds weird). All the articles and science-y type stuff caught up and sort of made the rest of my brain go silent. Drawing doesn't count. You can give me a paper, a pencil, and ten minutes with nothing to do and I'd be doodling on the margins (just in case you gave me the paper with something specific in mind, such as taking notes with it). Writing doesn't come so naturally. It never has. Not even crafts came that naturally. Essentially, from October to now, I've produced nothing outside of class besides a few doodle-type-things. That's how quiet it is. (And trust me, this is quiet for me.)

Then, of course, I started thinking about the story, because it's the sort of story that you can't think about without thinking about it. I started to wonder if it'll actually get anywhere, now that the guys are more like a vague presence than an active voice (or should I say, voices? Heh). That immediately led to me wondering if it was going anywhere to begin with and then, before you know it, I'm at the OMG it doesn't have an actual PLOT how does that work but it's based on real life and does real life have a plot because sometimes / most times it doesn't should I change that should I change the structure I have no idea what I'm doing and they're interesting characters but what do I DO with them? Before you know it I'll end up at the "Oh my gosh, my LIFE doesn't have a plot" and "I wonder if banging my head against this desk here a few times will make me feel better."

(It usually doesn't.)

(Though it always looks so tempting, it usually doesn't.)

But how do I take pieces of something, even if the pieces have potential, and put them together into something whole when I don't have a blueprint? It's like a kaleidoscope, where I turn it and peer at it every once in a while to see if the new pattern looks any more promising. (Dubious. The word is Dubious.) It's kind of fun. It also makes me wish for a kaleidoscope manual.

I'd wish for someone else to take the guys off of my hands and do something with them, except if that does happen I'd be incredibly jealous, because I'm possesive like that.


Okay now to bed, because I'm already in my PJs and it's freaking cold.