Had to email my committee to push back my defense date today (not sure if it's approved yet or not) because despite of my best effort I haven't submitted my manuscript yet. I feel a little ashamed because there're a bunch of people cheering me on and telling me "you can do it!" and now I feel like I've let them down. I'm also upset because I hate it when I can't meet my own deadline, even when it's for reasons beyond my control because I usually have enough backup plans that even when things get a bit out of control it still gets done, and so the rare instances when it doesn't come through feels even worse.

On one hand, I really am not ready to face down my committee at the original deadline. On the other hand I just asked to drag this out for another two months (at least) and I feel a lot like I'm failing at life.