Recap: New Year's Eve

So goes another year. Really.

Recap: Grey

Time's trailing by now. Between today and the New Year (and by that, I mean 12:01am on this Sunday) is the odd sense of being in limbo (or have I spelled that wrong too?). It's the last day of this so called "work week" though, you have to admit, having people work in the five days between holidays with the popularity of Christmas and New Years may not be the smartest thing to do. Productivity, overall, can't be high on the priorities. Sadism, maybe, productivity, not so much.
But I diverge, even if only a little.

I mean to note that today is a Friday, which means that people generally have half of their mind wandering off somewhere (no split-brain syndrome though. Ha. Ha.), add it to the fact that this week is already not the best for focusing on work, for those who are working, it's safe to say that daydream might interrupt their work schedule occasionally today. Add to it then, that Sunday's New Years, the officially recognized day with which a new cycle of time (as we divide it into chunks and pieces) begins, and people's tendency to reflect upon the year past at that time (the media certainly does it, goodness knows).

Funny, these few days may be the most thoughtful days in some people's lives, of the whole year which they have lived.


THE MISTS OF AVALON- Marion Zimmer Bradley - 876 (at this many pages, the word "saga" takes on another meaning)

Recap: Not a plant

A walk around the block in my neighborhood had revealed to me that, apparently, the region here-abouts is damp enough to start fungi. Or perhaps "start" is too meak a word--being taken over is much closer. We have mushrooms everywhere, of more kinds that I've ever seen in normal suburban areas. Mushrooms in shades of white and beige, in shapes like staircases, in fairy-rings, in clusters roughly the size of a basketball, on trees, in the grass, slowly eating away at the shubbery and ground covering.

At least they have not taken over the house yet but--as can be see with the progression of mildrew, it would appear to be only a matter of time.

Behold, the great war against the fungi is arriving.
Or, as we look at the days that are already lengthening, is that the spring?

Recap: Magi

Despite of the increase in noise levels and decrease in patience levels, despite of the tasks and conversations, there is one undeniable truth about having more people in the house: it makes the place warmer.
Perhaps I mean physical warmth, which, of course, would be true since Mr. Goes during my tenth grade year had once converted for the class the equivalent number of 100 watt lightbulbs that must burn to match the metabolism of one average high school aged male. (The number was quite impressive, I remember, though I don't remember the exact number.)
Then again, perhaps I meant psychological warmth which can be equally obvious because the presence of people, even (and sometimes especially) complete strangers plays fantastic phenomenon with our subconscious.

Good morning and I slept all the way till 9am today. It makes me feel philosophical, though that's not usually how it works. Usually I just get groggier if I overslept my own quota.
And the day is dark, and cold, and dreary.

Blessings of the season to you. I shall go now and attempt to write things.

Recap: Hogswatch?

You really have to wonder about some of the names of the winter holidays, especially since there are so many of them. Very diverse, they are, but that would only make sense because, let's face it, no matter what culture or background you came from, everyone needs a good long holiday to look forward to in the middle of winter.

Being introduced to Robert Earl Keen, it seems, and wishing that I had faster internet connection but oh--the joy of being home does come with it's prices (joking. Well, sort of.)

Introduced my parents to Santana Row yesterday, for their first time. Mother quite liked the...I suppose you would call it structure, but we missed out on the giant chess pieces (anyone knew where they went?). I drove there, being held to the request that I should practice driving still, occasionally, and we stopped at B&N along the way because we're a family of bookworms and my parents promised to buy me a new book every Christmas and every birthday and they had a booksale and I got Longfellow's poem collection (it's almost insulting that it's brand new and costed only a dollar) and mother got me this small...it's called berry bonsai and I really should do something about these odd run-on sentences of mine.
And now my parents think that I'll read anything that has an antique-looking cover which is, of course, not true. GOOD OMENS being an example. The fairy book that Kate got me being another one though, admittedly, it looked like something that belongs in a display case in a folklore museum. But that's mostly because in my world, any book that has a cover like that automatically deserves a display case.

Have been sleeping around ten hours a day right now and so I wish...oh I don't know, Lucy. There can be many reasons why you'd still want to be sleeping at one pm so I think I'll just say that I hope you're getting just the right amount of sleep, whatever that amount may be. And that time wasted, even if you don't feel it, is still wasted because there is the high probability that one day you will realize that it will be wasted and THEN you will KNOW that that time is wasted. Sorry about the circular logic but I don't think I can do any better without typing an entire essay on it.

Also, before I retire offline again, let's all wish luck on Kate's wall, where plasters, I think, are continuing their unwanted but persistent migration downwards.


LOLITA- Vladimir Nabokov- 309

Recap: Paper cranes

I have yet to mention the other day when I slaughtered four bananas with a stainless-steel spoon...
(It's banana bread, calling for a cup of mashed bananas.)

Day two, post Christmas. How goes it?

Recap: happy holidays

'Tis the season to be jolly?

Or at least cold and insanely cheerful. Have a very happy Christmas (even if you don't celebrate it) to you and yours. I felt like diverging on the importance of winter holidays in human nature but that'll keep for another time. Like I said, today's for being cold and insanely cheerful.

Cheers.

Recap: Strains

Spent first half of morning grocery shopping and the second half playing in dirt. Otherwise known as taking care of plants and getting rid of the plastic container which was crumbling from old-age and therefore transferring the plant that was in there to somewhere else and getting dirt everyone and having mother come after me with a broom (quite a scary sight). Am sending Christmas cards online now and the internet speed is ...well, after Davis, it makes me want to shred things. I am going to finish my book while waiting for things to load but at least I'll still be somewhat productive.

Baking stuff later on. My parents apparently REALLY liked the strawberry scones I made over the summer.

Recap: Over the horizon

Father's got the day off, so my morning (up to now, at least) is part secretary, part translator, part somewhat mortified teenager waiting all over the place and reading LOLITA while in line at Bank of America (but, at least, I was warned about what the book's aboutu). I was translating what was suppose to be a problem with the UPS bill only to have the desk clerk discover that it's USPS, not UPS. That was for the mortifying. Another memory to go down in the long-line of holiday season, but what else is the holiday season for, if not for burning your tongue on the slight-too-hot tea and drowning in memories?

Right-o. 'Tis the season to be jollly, and all that. It is time for each family, across the different backgrounds and at different places to observe their own tradition. That's what family is, isn't it? Another source of traditions. That concludes my observation of the day.

Readings:

JURASSIC PARK -Michael Crichton- 400
DANDELION WINE - Ray Bradbury- 269

[edit 15:06]
Apparently the UC/Bechtel team beat out the Univ. of Texas/Lockheed-Martin team for the management of the Los Alamos National Lab. Yay.

Recap: Lights

My accomplishments of the day (or should I say, the previous 24 hours since I have the habit of updating this not at night) involves breaking one thumbtack and spending half an hour on my hands and knees looking for another one. I couldn't find that other one which is a very bad thing, since it means that it's somewhere on the carpet still, lurking and waiting for an unwary foot. I think I'll spend another hour or so looking for it later.

There go the squirrels, attacking the neighbor's birdfeeder again. And there go the birds, rather indignantly fleeing the onslaught of squirrels.
And a very happy holiday to you too.

I'll go and look for that other thumbtack now.

Recap: A shorter post

Happy Winter Solstice!
A time of supposidely reflections and thoughts, but I think between the two previous nights I've already done my share. It's time for a bit of record keeping then, and from my list of things I want to do, I can officially cross off going on the roof and hugging a tree.
I'm still working on everything else.

Recap: Visiting Lusine

Two entries today, and this’ll be the longer one. I’ll attempt to recount the four days involved if only so I can come back and laugh at the memory sometimes later (though this may have some entertainment values for Lusine and Kate, who are still in LA, should they read this).

Divided into four days in terms of style too, because I need to at least make an effort at keeping the memories organized.

Day 1
Mothers United: the Horror, the Horror

While waiting for the bus in front of Marina Foods we discovered that mothers have something about food and long trips by the bus. The general reasoning always being that since you’re sitting down and have nothing in particular to do, you should, therefore, eat. Hence there is the bringing of food, sandwiches in the case of Kate, apples and crackers in my case. The crackers were spiritually-empowered crackers because they had peanut butter.

Found out we needed to change our e-tickets for actual tickets at the last moment, which was cutting it a bit close and invoked a bit of a responsibility lecture which I’m sure I’ll be hearing very, very soon. Kate was feeling homicidal, the mothers were feeling worried, the difference in languages stopped being an issue and while we waited in the bus for it to leave we got to watch the bonds forged by maternal instincts wave at us. Merrily.

The bus trip itself involves…the tea kettle-like (or possibly high-pitched, speed up Morse code?) whistle of one window, the rattle of various parts of the roof, and the equivalent of “To die, or not to die” speech from Hamlet qua the bus radio. It’s a particularly fitting reference considering how many different types of music we tried along the way. The bus trip also involves the making of many paper cranes, war waged against the wires from Kate’s CD player’s earphones, the slow death of three flowers, and a bit more homicidal sentiments from Kate which was not helped when I started to count her yawns, thus forever ruining her ability to yawn for the rest of the night. (Yes I realized I used the word "forever".)
Did note, though, that Kate would like a motorbike, helicopter, possibly space ship and her own stargate too, if she can have it.

Renewed acquaintances with LA traffic sums up the end of the trip, then it’s to Lusine’s and present exchange and watching her cousin running around the house like…like… it’d be like one of those horses from the merry-go-round, stuck in a Pinocchio-magic and suddenly found itself capable of independent movement. (I’m sorry, Lusine, but that was the first thing I thought of. He does run in circles. ) Walk through the streets, books stores, going onto Lusine’s roof which does not have a railing and watching Lusine quietly freak out while Kate considered various possibilities, most of them ending with potentially broken bones and major surgery. Watched Hitchhikers (I’ve read the book, enough said). I abused Lusine’s large round chair who’s, I’m sure, very glad to see me leave.

Day 2
Lights, Movie, and Random Running

Writing Christmasy things next to a Christmas tree is a good move. There is something about the lights and the smell that inevitably injects the holiday spirit into your writing. I’ll make a note to try writing a horror story next to a Christmas tree some day in the future because I want to see the comedy that comes out of it.
Oh yes, that meant that I woke up early, and had enough time and was awake enough to write things. I didn’t know multicoloured Christmas lights included the colour orange. That was interesting.

Visited what I presumed to be the local mall afterwards, when it was still early enough for us to avoid over-crowding (Valleyfair is frightening at this time of the year). There were (and still are, probably) umbrellas on a balcony-like structure in the mall. There is the usual mall-hired Santa Claus, and a kid who cried while taking a picture with Santa which, of course, was highly ironic. The food court had squiggly blue lights on the ceiling and there was a very crowded toy store that I didn’t remember the name of. We saw Lego-Snape though, at the Lego store, and wondered why Snape was purple. Another mystery of life.

Watched HP4, some very nice scenic shots, too much interpretation from the director and overall…the movies are not for the people who have read and have liked the books.

Light display at night! (It’s somewhat sad and accurate to note that the lights at Beverly Hills are better than the “light show” we saw the day afterwards). They have some very pretty things with snowflakes there…and also creativity with general displays, such as the semi-underground clothing display tunnels, which really is the best I can do with words unless I want to waste half a page trying to describe the structuring, which I’d really rather not do. Lights and fountains and running through intersections when the pedestrian light came on because (I think?) Kate was wearing (er. Still is, am assuming) running shoes. More fountains and elevators and plants at this…place, where Lusine freaked out a bit more as Kate contemplated jumping onto a slanted glass roof. And some arguments about the healthy age for a piece of chocolate to be, when it’s extracted from Lucy’s purse. Apparently Lusine and Kate had quite different ideas about it (ahem).

Watched PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN And for some reason I got a very extensive lecture on slash afterwards (I really don’t know…). Then there persisted much hysterical giggling for unfathomable reasons, where Kate tried to edge away from Lucy and then ended up fighting or, more accurately, hit her repeatedly with a pillow and eventually tried to hide Lusine under a blanket which then quivered from Lusine’s laughter, emitting an occasional "hee!". I know that there is a reason to be deeply worried about slightly quivering piles of blankets that go "hee" now. Wondered slightly at the number of cushions the couches of the Vardanyan household always seemed to possess, because I still remember struggling with them during the movies days from last year.

Day 3
As Thoughts and Hysteria

Woke up WAY too early and stared at the Christmas tree. Following Lusine’s directions from the previous day I found where the bread was and had breakfast. Eventually (because there was time) I went up to the roof again and made naturalistic observations about the neighborhood which, despite of its distance, is amazingly like Cupertino in many areas. Went back downstairs at 9, and then sometimes afterwards Lusine’s relatives came and I admit to wanting to leave for the roof again even though yes, that would most definitely not be polite. Watched Narnia and concluded that the mind-numbing ideals behind the movie cancels out (in my opinion) with how pretty the entire movie is. There are scenes that I want to paint. The movie itself? As generally typical of the movies—it is probably a lot more enjoyable if you don’t think about it. ("Oh Lucy? Where are you?")

Mall again, and food from the Italian kitchen place, under the squiggle-light area. Discussion about allergies, for some reason. Kate buying a bath/shower/soap-thing for her mother. (We played the word game "fish" before this and I’m realizing that I have problems keeping memories that I have lumped together organized in chronological order which is slightly disturbing but, as people point out, I have a weird brain. Oh well, as said in the beginning, I'm making an effort.) The "light show", as can be seen, from the quotation marks, is a bit of a laugh, but we had an APUSH flash-back on the way there and were trying to remember all sorts of president names. Trip to a pastry-shop-place afterwards, where I was introduced to Russian ice cream, from "Dadu", which Lusine apparently make some sort of Russian-language-error about that and caused much amusement. Then back to the house and TV and some rather horrifying shows which I was considering whether or not can be used to support an argument of "reasons why not to watch TV". Hysterical giggling visited us again that night, and it got so bad for Lusine that she had to leave and drink some water to get rid of her hiccups. To try to go over all that had happened then would be difficult, but there were flying stuffed animals and depictions of classical literature and two very different flashbacks of WHO’S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF that ended with whispers and finally sleep, though probably not enough sleep for anyone.

Day 4
Slightly More Eventful Than Hoped

Subconscious can be a very annoying thing at times, even though being able to set a sort of internal alarm clock is very neat. Woke everyone up at 8 to go to Monterey Park for the bus (I appreciate your efforts, Lucy and Kate, especially since the bedtime was something like 3:30 am). I asked Lucy if she had a hangover and she informed me that that's the good thing about getting high off of stupidity: that you don't get hang-overs. (I did ask for permission.) Got there too early and walked around for a bit until the bus came. The driver handed us plastic bags that said "Thank You" on them, and I haven't a clue why. I think it's meant to be a garbage bag or something, and I got to see Lucy and Kate wave at me. A lot. And yes I have a funny wave but I'm sort of a funny person (in many different senses, I’m sure) so I might as well be consistent about it.

There was no radio on the way back. There was, however, what I call the Whistling Window Duet with background music of "The Death Rattle of the Luggage Rack". It took me the better part of the first hour to eliminate those sounds from my attention and by then we were going up the mountains and my ears were being weird enough so that sleeping was out of the question. Tried to sleep afterwards though, and managed one hour of five minute cat-naps before I decided that it'd be easier if I just sleep when I get home (it is easier). At the first break a girl threw up because she had milk last night or something, and we got to hear her retch for a very long time. That was unpleasant. At the lunch stop we had to switch buses because a bus that was destined for Las Vegas had mechanical problems so the passengers for that bus are going to go on our bus and we're going on the bus with the problems which is not terribly reassuring. At the third break we found out that the problem is with one of the generators and for a while the bus wouldn’t start and that was definitely not reassuring but eventually Cupertino was reached with no incidents and we were even on schedule, for some miraculous reason.


And at the end, just to reassure you guys, no, I am not in trouble for coming back on the bus by myself. My mother was more annoyed about the cellphone crises because I called my father (who was about to get off work at that time anyway) instead of her (who was at work) and since she usually calls me my father’s number isn’t under the “recent calls” menu and she couldn’t figure out how to get to the address book, where I entered both of our numbers. She also got me this type of chocolate bar that I liked, sometimes within the past 4 days so, you see, it all worked out.

Recap: A hundred thousand cows

That were located across from McDonalds, in the other direction. There were more cows there than there are people in Davis.

And yes am back. Despite of need to change bus and some minor incidents (which I'll include when I recap my LA trip tomorrow when I get more time) I have not been either temporarily or permanently delayed and arrived home quite safetly.

Cheers?

[edit 5:45]
...my math grades are posted...and somehow I managed to procure an A-...

I made it, apparently.

Hope that is my grade. Hm...better double check. (Don't laugh, I really DID panic during that final, it was that bad.)

Recap: Preparations

No updates for the next few days, I don't think, as that I will be in LA and probably be occupied with things greater than updating my blog. Yes, Lusine, you may consider this a compliment of sorts. Meanwhile I still need to figure out what I should be bringing (I've never stayed over at a friend's house for longer than one might, you know), and I need to find out if I actually am in the possession of a bag that's bigger than my backpack but smaller than those dufflebags.

Switching back, temporarily, to writing things longhand. Staring with some bemusement at the lines of writing and deciding that the amount of concentration it'd take for me to make my writing less cramped will probably kill me.

I have maps. My backpack is my real moral suppport, but I have maps.

Recap: Eglantine

I have a runner, from a strawberry plant, from Davis, and I'm planting it. I wonder how that'll turn out.

Meanwhile, it's a bright and sunny (yet still fairly cold inside) day in San Jose, and I realize I still have an unbelievable amount of things to do, including but not limited to reading, which I'm very much behind in.

My reading list hit a hundred, I think, before I just got it down to ninety-something.

Recap: Supreme paranoia

My life is unavoidably academic oriented and I have a feeling that this will not change soon.

Meanwhile, I have found out that the climate in my house is too cold for basil, which I took home during Thanksgiving. Remember the plant that I took a picture of and posted here? Here's the same plant:

Sad, isn't it?

Ranting: Superstring for Philosophy

[also done while in library]

Introduction

Physics have been rather obsessive of the String Theory of late, and Kate, being the individual that she is, suggested that a likewise concept be applied to general philosophy and such. There are both advantages and disadvantages to this, one, being that philosophy has very few scientifically applicable formulas and therefore painstaking math equations are not necessary in order for a point to be made: this is an advantage. The disadvantage then, is also because there are no formulas, and therefore the theoretical work remains that--a theory--to be taken on personal faith and thoughts only.

I have jolted down a few notes on the back of the photocopies of Sefer Zerubabbel, however, notes will only take you so far. Once the structure is laid out the rest remains to be filled by the thoughts as they are translated into words.

General Relativity (i.e. sociology)

Perhaps the only place where Relativity can be denoted with a capitalized ‘R’ outside of physics is in the field of philosophy. Philosophy, as something that is based on perspectives, cannot afford absolute terms which, as the physicists have developed when Einstein broke physics, physics turns out to not be able to afford, either.

This Relativity is reflected from microscales, such as each person’s individuality, to macroscales of entire cultures. Nothing demonstrates this fact by the simple (and generally agreed to be true) statement that what one person/culture may find acceptable, another will find offensive. This is why, as we grow up, we find that the basic rule of “treat others the way you’d like to be treated” should not be regarded beyond the most basic points (such as do not hit other people), and sometimes not even then (ever seen teenage guys punch each other as a sign of affection?).

The difference in perspectives and ideas means that nothing can be cleanly labelled and pack away into its own neat little niche in the minds of others. Terms such as ‘good’ and ‘bad’ often has no meaning unless you apply then with respect (i.e. relative) to other things. There is no ‘absolute’ goodness and badness, so to speak, because everything is rated based on everything else. Relative extrema exist, absolute extrema do not. In an analogy, this is ideologically the equivalent of saying: black and white exists only in theory when we are evaluating the various shades of grey.

And this Relativity is important. Relativity allows for ambiguity and acceptance. Had everyone insisted on their rights as ‘absolute rights’ and their wrongs as ‘absolute wrongs’ well—you can see the problem with that when it comes to negotiations between countries. (Yes, you might say that part of the problem with world peace started here, take the ever-present Israel problem, for example.)

Relativity is fundamental in human nature too, as can be seen in the over-used (and over-emphasized, in my case) statement of “no human can be absolutely good or absolutely evil.”

In a way, you might say that humanity is founded upon relativity. Einstein’d probably be happy, even though this is not quite what he was talking about.

Quantum Levels (i.e. psychology)

Take a step back from what humanity is supposedly based on, on how culture and countries function, and look at the fact that humanity and society (I mean culture/countries but I’m really talking about the same thing) are all composed of individuals. All those other words, society, humanity, are just larger units of measurement which when you’re looking at the individual particles, translates to about the same thing. An analogy: when you’re looking at particles of water (i.e. molecules), grams, litres, or gallons of water all matters only as larger units of the said particles.

In other words, let’s take a break and talk about you. Not you as a part of something greater, playing a role you may or may not be aware of (though we’ll eventually have to cover that bit too), but you as an individual, as yourself.

According to Freud, personality is a result of conflicts between biological urges and social standards. Though this definition is generally laughed off (partially because it’s completely unscientific), there is something to be said (isn’t there always?) about human urges: to want.

Human want things. We desire, wish, long for, et cetera (a infinum probably). It is fairly safe to say that people in general have, at one time or another, felt ashamed of something that they want—an urge that they found displeasing to their personal beliefs. For instance, there is the commonly held belief that some people are ‘shallow’, and that ‘shallow’ (sometimes translated to being ‘materialistic’) is ‘bad.’ Most of the so-called shallow people, we will find, are merely people who know that they find pleasure in simple things in life, and then set out to pursue those things that gave them pleasure. They are frowned upon either because of that pursuit or because the things that makes them happy lacks a ‘deeper, significant, meaning’.

What was that tangent about, you ask? Shallow people are only a more easily explained example of the things that goes on in each of us. As intelligent beings that we pride ourselves on, we frequently ask the question “why” a lot. Why we do this, why do we that. Why are we alive, and so on. Most of us are constrained by our own minds to the sphere of perception around us, hence most of us do what we do not because we know that this will significantly alter something a decade from now, or maybe save a person’s life in a bazaar chain of events (though wouldn’t you have liked that?), most of us do things because we want to do something, or because it will bring us something that we want. We have wants, ambitions, aspirations, it’s why we do things, it’s what drives each of our lives.

How does this relate to you? Ask yourself: what do you get up in the morning on a school day? Because you have to go to school. Why do you go to school? You may either answer that it’s because you want to graduate or because your parents told you so. If you answered that you want to graduate, it’s probably because you know it’ll get you a better job, which means the likelihood of a job you want, good pay, and therefore a life you enjoy which translates to happiness. If you’ve answered because your parents made you, then ask why they’re making you, and if you are seriously considering this and not just saying “because they’re sadistic that way”, you’ll find out that they’re making you graduate because they want you to graduate, find a good job, and so on. Conclusion: our actions (getting up and going to school) are driven by our desires (to have a comfortable life, well-paying job, whatever), and that the pursuit of happiness, as it turns out, is at the end of every equation. It’s what makes the whole ‘desire to action’ clockwork tick. Each of us leads individual lives, with individual (and often numerous) desires that we convert to actions each day, and the sum of those actions is our lives.

The Strings. (i.e. philosophy)

Now we take it a step further, but before we do that, let us recap the first two sections (because they’re very long and I wasn’t able to make them any more concise while writing this). General relativity is what allows humanity to function, the individual parts, such as culture and nations, to come together. At the individual level, humans lead individual lives which are a result of their various desires being converted to actions.

Excellent, now we move on. Now we wonder at what’s the point behind all this—this, the summing up of humanity, the individual lives, and if there’re any connection between the two. Good news, Sherlock, apparently there is (or otherwise I wouldn’t have wasted two pages ranting about them).

Despite of having individual desires humans are, dare I say it, somewhat boring creatures and a great deal of desires overlap though the combinations (of desires) are mostly unique to each individual. Relativity, when based on the overlap in desires does not only hold the individuals together in the thing we call humanity, but is directly responsible for the progression of humanity. Remember how desire drives our lives? Collective desires (i.e. overlapping ones) of multitudes, held together by Relativity, drives humanity forward as people seek the thing that they all collectively want (example: world peace, which I realize only applies to a certain group/culture of people, but never the less serves as a way to demonstrate how a shared desire holds a group of individuals, with their own unique combination of wants together, and results in plenty of action).

[Let me pause for a moment and mention that a guy sitting nearby is wearing too much cologne and it’s giving me a headache.]

Is there a greater meaning then, if the whole of what we are is the summed result of individuals who can see no further than their own sphere of perception?

There is indeed.

[Interrupted again, Kate, this is the point where you called me and I had to run outside with my cellphone.]

Some things need more than one person to be accomplished. Some insights require more than one mind behind it (if you’ve ever been to a good group discussion, you’d agree). Left alone, no one can find a meaning to his/her life beyond the individual desires and actions. Our definition of who we are and the role we play only has a meaning when taken in the context with everyone else. Our meaning in life, so to speak, is defined by the effect we have on what’s around us, be it our friends or family (as is the case for some people), the environment, or the ways of the world (in the case of all the Truth-seekers out there). The other people are the scaffolding we need to stand above our own viewpoints, humanity as a whole is what tells us of our position in life (see Relativity) and for all those of you who want a greater definition of the meaning of humanity—

--it suffices to say that humanity is by itself, and that unless we find some other context to compare it to, you’re looking at a long and twisty road ahead, paved in shades of grey.

Self-comparison with respect to history is overrated. It can be applied, but in a different tangent from the current one and is the subject for another entry.

Conclusion

As mentioned before, unlike physics, philosophy has very little that you can prove factually, only ideas that you can observe and/or take up on faith. All this lovely jumbled written above is, of course, the result of one person’s attempt to fill up the structures left by many other thinkers (which I will not cross-reference because I’ve had enough of cross-referencing for the year) and it’s not even strictly scientific, so therefore shouldn’t be taken to seriously. For further reading on the spheres of perception, i.e. levels of individual perception, please ask Kate about her Russian doll theory (sorry Kate, I would’ve linked it but I don’t know where you’ve gotten it written down, if you did have it written down). Otherwise, I’m in a library, I’ve been typing for far too long, and I am going to switch from output to input and go and read something.

Recap: Hopelessly nerdy

Time: 9:32

I am currently sitting in the Santa Clara library where, at a lack of CAT5 cables and the urge to reconfigure and search for wireless networks, I am without internet. However, since I do have my laptop with me, that will not influence at all upon my writing, as will be evidenced by length of my rants today.

Being back in Cupertino is nice. Being back home is nice. My parents never used heating so, after the weeks with the heating system in the dorms, it took a bit of getting used to. When I got up this morning I forgot and just sort of sat up, not thinking, and I believe the closest translation to the sound I made was "meep!" because, ye gods, the air was cold.
Very well, lesson learned. Tomorrow I'll be more careful when I get up in the morning. Then again, at the lack of library-ness tomorrow morning, perhaps I'll just stay in bed longer until the temperature difference between the Outside and my bed is less than what it was this morning, at seven thirty AM.

Despite of that though, it is still good to be back and know I can sleep soundly throughout the night without worrying who might pop up at two in the morning. The carride needed to get from point A to point B is always the worst--that's when I mope and miss things, but as soon as I step in the door (in Cupertino or in Davis) the feeling disappears. You feel Home. There're memories there. There're little things that make you feel like you've never left at all--that's how you know you're Home.
And it's far too easily for me to call a place home...I think my set range is three days to a week but then, perhaps that's all just as well.

The ducks behind the library, in the Central Park, do not remember me, but I didn't expect them to either. Neither did the pigeons nor the seagulls. However I'll forgive their short-termed memory and dedicate bits of my lunch to them. I wonder if they like peanut-butter....

[edit 18:18]
Yep, spent my first day back in the library.

Recap: Urk

Math final absolutely horrendous. Have failed probably. But will be going home today anyway. I think.

Recap: The chicken didn't cross the road

Molly's still sleeping. Well.

I studied math this morning, took down the Christmas tree (as may be leaving tomorrow), and watered plants. Then I went to harvest my crops out there in the fields. I saw a giant rabbit there...it's roughtly the size of Anna's cat, Isis. On the way there I also saw a dead crow and while unlocking my bike for the return trip there was a chicken.

The fields where I grew the spinach and lettuce and stuff is directly across from the student's organic-farming project. They have chickens. The chickens were out loose, for some reason. There was a white chicken cross the road except, as you can see from my title of the post, it never quite managed. It stopped half way, paused, pecked around a bit, then turned around and went back, paused, then turned and so on. It never made it to the other half of the road while I was there, and I was contemplating whether or not the chicken might've came across Hamlet in its previous reincarnation.

I have also contributed to the soil erosion problem. There is enough mud on the bottom of my shoe for a miniture garden.

But enough about the fun stuff, it's time to get back to math....

And thank you, Lucy. Glad you liked the story. :-)


[edit 5:38]
Because of finals, we have set quiet hours as 21 hours a day, meaning that the only time when we're allowed to talk outside of our rooms while we're in the dorms is between 5pm and 8pm. I was out in the lounge (roommate having brought a friend over) when 5pm occurred. So fun to watch. Rebecca was running around and people were CELEBRATING the end of quiet hours (but, you have to give it to them, when the hours are here it's really, really quiet. To the point of being creepy.) and we had an invigorating discussion on widgets and found out how many seconds were left until Christmas.

HOliday cheer sneaks up on us all, finals or no.

Recap: Bump in the night

Molly was out again last night and came back at two thirty-ish in the morning, at which time she tried to change out of her dress and knocked over two very large piles of unknown objects. Even if I had not been awake already, I would've woken up at that point. It's pretty funny, actually, because she was bumping around alot so I asked if she were drunk and she said no. Then twenty minutes after she left (she returned at 8:15 this morning, having apparently forgotten her room key...I wonder if she knocked at any time between three and six am because I wouldn't have heard it...) something decided that its balance didn't work out and there was this huge CRASH from Molly's open wardrobe.

I turned on the light and looked around, but there was already a bunch of stuff on the floor there so I couldn't tell which bits were originally components of the crash.

Laundry, studying, packing today. Hannah (girl from my psychology class) asked me to help her and her friend study for the final (since I don't have to take it and they do) and so I agreed and went to meet her at the Starbucks across the street...and she never showed up.

C'est la vie. I'm developing a taste for tainted tea. As in half tea, half fruit juice. It's really quite good.

Recap: Flowers and holidays

Brain freeze, 9am, but math was over already, so that was alright. I went and got my plants today from the green house and will need to go and harvest my vegetables this Sunday (for freshness), but that took up parts of the morning, along with editing my final project of the apocalypse for oh, what must be either the fifth or the sixth time. (Have lost count, this is a separate editing after the one I completed last night...which version did I say that one was?)

Took a break and went to lunch with Annie (from my plant bio class), afterwards we biked over to the library (I need to return the books) and then wandered around in downtown Davis for a bit. This had this nice Christmas tree down on E street, on the townsquare across from Chipotle. They also wrapped red things around the white street-lamp-poles so we get the candycane effect. What was quote worthy was our discussion about Edgar Allan Poe, his works, but more specifically his poem "Bells." I was pointing out that that poem sounded improperly cheerful as compared to Mr. Poe's general works and Annie pointed out that "Bells" also had a melancholy undertone to it and we agreed that Mr. Poe wrote far too many things about women dying and I said this poem was happier because it didn't have a woman dying in it and she pointed out that at least, this poem doesn't DIRECTLY have a woman dying in it.
The quote went something along the lines of "Yeah, it's happier because there isn't a woman directly dying in it."

Both of us were exhausted (roommmate stayed up to work on stuff last night), so that might be why the conversation went that way. Besides the fact that I'm sort of strange, that is.

Recap: Mounting tension

As the days towards the finals week draws closer, the overall stress of all the students increases exponentially...

The weather has gotten very cold here these past few days too, cold enough so that when you step outside in the morning you'd have to spend the first few moments gasping in the unlit air of dawn, before you jump out of the way as a bike zooms past you and remember, blearily, that oh yes, you have a lecture to get to, too.

Heating system worshipping continues, needless to say. There were odd thuds coming from second floor last night, I wonder what that was about.

Recap: Here

In theory I resent things working out at the last minute. In practice I'm so thankful that things did manage to come through afterall that I seldom managed to feel more than a twinge of peevishness. Had a 5 hour job orientation today (got paid for it, though) and another one possibly tomorrow and a midterm coming up that I have to walk to because the rain caught me coming back from the orientation so cheers.

Recap: Another day

Schedule completely messed up today and tomorrow. Had practice for presentation from 8-9 then class from 10-12, lab from 1-4, and lecture from 4-5 then a study abroad program from 8pm until I don't know when. More stuff tomorrow. One final still haven't study for so must do that.

Like I said, hectic.

Recap: Times

Next few days promises to be hectic. I think it started today already, however.

Recap: Sunday mornings

Time: 10:57

Out in the lounge again. Roommate turned out to have stayed out all night (Friday evening) after all. She came back last night though, hence me in the lounge.

The Christmas tree has been decorated. Or rather, as we call the tree that looks like a Christmas tree and is decorated like a Christmas tree: The Non-Denominational Winter-Time Shrub.
Trust the ISers to try to be politically correct in a time where it's politically incorrect to be politically incorrect.

Last evening there was some sort of a race going on in the corridors, as in a running race, complete with someone shouting "ready, set, go" and the pounding of footsteps worthy of a herd of stampeding elephants. There were some screeches too, but I didn't step outside my room to see as that I was concerned about the possibility of being run-over.
I THINK those people are from our floor though, or at least some of the people who were shouting were from our floor.

Happy holidays...the lights are going up all over the place (in the student dorms) now. Very cozy look from the outside and inside. Certain people's doors have acquired their distinct decorations that let the people know about the people who lived behind those doors (such as the door overwhelmed with hundreds of colorful post-its, right across from the 3rd floor lounge where I am currently sitting in). Our lounge has also acquired a lot of TIME magazines, also a few WIRED and some VANITY FAIR (or at least I think that's what it's called). Only one Scientific America thought--terribly under-represented and battered copy at that, but none of us had to pay for the magazines, so I really shouldn't complain.

Non Sequitor: Sarcasm in religion

After listening to a very intriguing lecture about the religion, our journal prompt for the week comes along and thwacks us between the head with the request to write our own religion.

It makes me think of the entry where I had to pretend to be a fish.

My sarcasm kept rising as I kept on typing, can you tell? :

I would like to discuss the religion called "College," which is, despite of popular beliefs, quite popular and gaining in popularity as a result of the twenty-first century.

The sacred grounds (i.e. sacred space) of College is anywhere abroad the grounds of a place that has been federally proven to be a campus where the majority of the students are at or above the age of eighteen, which, should be noted, is a sacred number. All members of College is considered to be sacred in their own rights, though of course, there is a hierarchy of order that should be observed, starting from the Board of Directors, to the Deans, to the Professors, to the Teacher’s Assistances, to the Students, and so on. Each class of people has their own special ritual that they must perform in order to maintain their level of sacredness, and it is not unusual that if certain rituals are performed just right and over the right amount of time, one may ascend to join the Higher Ranks. As previously mentioned, the sacred time, then, is different for each Rank. Most of the Students, for example, would argue that the sacred time is between their Last Class of the Day (a ritual which we will cover shortly) and midnight. However, most Professors would dutifully confess that their sacred time is any length of time they spend on the sacred ground (i.e. Campus).

The rituals of College are many and often very complex. It suffices to say that in general, it involves a great deal of paper and ink or, that of ink being printed on paper. Also involved are Words, which generally move freely about the Ranks. This flow of information, or of Words, is considered the central and most sacred of rituals.

College is thought to be in many things, one of which being a particularly thick-covered and heavy type of books with many Words. Many among the Student rank frequently worship these icons. In the turn of the century, however, we observe the rise of another icon: the Computer, which is accepted and generally held in high regards by all Ranks of College. For Students, the main index is often thought to be the Backpack, which often holds the many things needed to perform the sacred rituals specified for that Rank and is kept in contact of the body fairly often. (see, definition for indices in the Trichotomics handout, by Professor Janowitz) The indices for the Professors are much more ambiguous in terms of personal preference, though many carry the Briefcase. The most accepted symbol for every sect of the religion College is the pattern formed when the first letters in the name of the sacred ground are taken and placed together. It is also the most common symbol.

Recap: Merry Christmas

Had an uninterrupted night of sleep, so roommate was either out all night and staying over somewhere or she has locked herself out again. Will go check in the lounge. People have decorated the Christmas tree (which for certain reasons of controversy, can't be called a 'Christmas' tree but more like a...a...'bush of diversity'?). All very nice. I need to go and buy peanut butter.
That was random, wasn't it.

Further development of floor 3 involves people from the apocalypse class running around seeking advice from each other about the final project. There is a woeful lack of directions but, at least, that meant we, in theory, gets more freedom with what we do with it. Oral presentation next Tuesday though. No escaping oral presentations. How do you orally present the apocalypse? No, just yelling "DOOM" is not going to do it, it has to be about 10 minutes long.

Maybe more later.

Recap: Sunshine and bikes

Blue sky again, after a rather--okay--very wet day yesterday. Biked over to the local library after midterm this morning and had an attack of non-fiction. Imagine that must be fun. More stuff to do when hiding in the lounge should my roommate decide to have friends over.

There is someone sleeping in the lounge when I came back at eleven. Sometimes that happens. You walk in and then realize that there's someone sleeping on one of the three couches (occasionally three people sleeping on the three couches). Usually it's someone from our floor, but that's not always necessary. Things happen occasionally but everyone's very nice about it.

The moans and groans of impending finals have finally begun. (Pun unintentional. Pun very bad. Please ignore pun.) Which in general means more closed doors, I suppose, and that floor three is quieter than usual. People might start considering the finals time prayers and no, Christine, I don't think anyone will be sacrificing gummy bears on sporks. Nor do I think anyone would want you to have their soul. People tend to be rather possessive their their souls (and their brain, sorry) around here.

I, on the other hand, will consider worshipping my pigma micron10 pen. It's the best thing since watercolor brushs that don't shed. Of course though, nothing quite beats the invention of erasors, which will always save the day, forever and ever. Amen.

Happy Friday, everyone.

Recap: Santa Clause paid a visit...

...and so I had one less quiz to worry about yesterday. Unfortunately, for the most part, it's still midterms week, as can be seen by the regularly present groups of twos and threes in the lounge, quizzing each other on random things. There's another tradition, though so far I think those who're taking chem have been over-represented. Or maybe that's just because people are more likely to study chem in the morning than any other time in the day.

Weather: gray and cold--the worshipping of the heating system continues. Floor four have suggested a cross-dressing party that's extended beyond their floor, cross-dressing preferred by not "mandatory". I thought of you, Kate. AHem!

Everything else continues per usual. I was told a story about a guy who accidentally threw a way a video (CD?) that he borrowed while taking out trash. Apparently retrieving your trash from the trash chute is a very long and drawn out process. This concludes the beginning of the folk-lore part of our developing culture.

Now we just need an official name for it.