Non Sequitor: Sarcasm in religion

After listening to a very intriguing lecture about the religion, our journal prompt for the week comes along and thwacks us between the head with the request to write our own religion.

It makes me think of the entry where I had to pretend to be a fish.

My sarcasm kept rising as I kept on typing, can you tell? :

I would like to discuss the religion called "College," which is, despite of popular beliefs, quite popular and gaining in popularity as a result of the twenty-first century.

The sacred grounds (i.e. sacred space) of College is anywhere abroad the grounds of a place that has been federally proven to be a campus where the majority of the students are at or above the age of eighteen, which, should be noted, is a sacred number. All members of College is considered to be sacred in their own rights, though of course, there is a hierarchy of order that should be observed, starting from the Board of Directors, to the Deans, to the Professors, to the Teacher’s Assistances, to the Students, and so on. Each class of people has their own special ritual that they must perform in order to maintain their level of sacredness, and it is not unusual that if certain rituals are performed just right and over the right amount of time, one may ascend to join the Higher Ranks. As previously mentioned, the sacred time, then, is different for each Rank. Most of the Students, for example, would argue that the sacred time is between their Last Class of the Day (a ritual which we will cover shortly) and midnight. However, most Professors would dutifully confess that their sacred time is any length of time they spend on the sacred ground (i.e. Campus).

The rituals of College are many and often very complex. It suffices to say that in general, it involves a great deal of paper and ink or, that of ink being printed on paper. Also involved are Words, which generally move freely about the Ranks. This flow of information, or of Words, is considered the central and most sacred of rituals.

College is thought to be in many things, one of which being a particularly thick-covered and heavy type of books with many Words. Many among the Student rank frequently worship these icons. In the turn of the century, however, we observe the rise of another icon: the Computer, which is accepted and generally held in high regards by all Ranks of College. For Students, the main index is often thought to be the Backpack, which often holds the many things needed to perform the sacred rituals specified for that Rank and is kept in contact of the body fairly often. (see, definition for indices in the Trichotomics handout, by Professor Janowitz) The indices for the Professors are much more ambiguous in terms of personal preference, though many carry the Briefcase. The most accepted symbol for every sect of the religion College is the pattern formed when the first letters in the name of the sacred ground are taken and placed together. It is also the most common symbol.