Moving a 15 year old lab and its assorted equipment, samples, and detritus when the lab is down to 2 grad students, 1 lab tech, and 1 undergrad had been most exciting. Of the variety that I shall add to the let's never do that again, ever, list.
Showing posts with label super long post. Show all posts
Showing posts with label super long post. Show all posts
20140906
20120810
Sometimes there is no explanation
A while ago I mentioned that I was going to write a post about bullying and the time feels about right tonight.
Bullying is one of those things that is shared across cultures and according to news media people use to consider it to be a rite of passage of sorts until the more recent years, where the string of suicides had made people realize that maaaaaaybe we should find safer rites of passage.
For a while I was considering whether or not to write about it because, let's face it, most of the people I know who reads this share similar political and philosophical views with me, and anything I say will be preaching to the choir. Then I realized that maybe I should talk about it because my friends are at the stage where they are getting married and having children, the oldest child is around two, and the concept of bullying and discrimination is something that is taught, if not by parents, then by society and media, in which case a passing explanation that Bullying is Bad is not enough to combat it. People have noticed an active role in parental teachings, not just in what is right and wrong, but what are the correct actions, or what should be done, does make immense difference in how children treat others in school. That takes extra time. That takes extra effort. Both of which are hard to give for an abstract problem. By which I mean yes, there are starving children in the world, but it's abstract -- how many of us lose sleep over it. So I wanted to make it more personal, because it is personal for me, so I hope the people close to me, at least, could see why it's a big deal and can hopefully make the extra effort. And then I felt all my preaching is getting...not so much condescending as well...as someone who doesn't plan to procreate, how much right do I have to lecture others on how to deal with their toddlers? Which led to me second guessing how much of the delay (because this post has been years in coming but I just wasn't ready to talk about it until more recently) is just me being cowardly...which led to more second guessing...which led me to conclude that, okay, I'm just going to write this, and people can make of it what they will.
So let me use many many words to tell you why the phrase "bullying builds character" has always bothered me, since I learned enough English to understand it....
Bullying is one of those things that is shared across cultures and according to news media people use to consider it to be a rite of passage of sorts until the more recent years, where the string of suicides had made people realize that maaaaaaybe we should find safer rites of passage.
For a while I was considering whether or not to write about it because, let's face it, most of the people I know who reads this share similar political and philosophical views with me, and anything I say will be preaching to the choir. Then I realized that maybe I should talk about it because my friends are at the stage where they are getting married and having children, the oldest child is around two, and the concept of bullying and discrimination is something that is taught, if not by parents, then by society and media, in which case a passing explanation that Bullying is Bad is not enough to combat it. People have noticed an active role in parental teachings, not just in what is right and wrong, but what are the correct actions, or what should be done, does make immense difference in how children treat others in school. That takes extra time. That takes extra effort. Both of which are hard to give for an abstract problem. By which I mean yes, there are starving children in the world, but it's abstract -- how many of us lose sleep over it. So I wanted to make it more personal, because it is personal for me, so I hope the people close to me, at least, could see why it's a big deal and can hopefully make the extra effort. And then I felt all my preaching is getting...not so much condescending as well...as someone who doesn't plan to procreate, how much right do I have to lecture others on how to deal with their toddlers? Which led to me second guessing how much of the delay (because this post has been years in coming but I just wasn't ready to talk about it until more recently) is just me being cowardly...which led to more second guessing...which led me to conclude that, okay, I'm just going to write this, and people can make of it what they will.
So let me use many many words to tell you why the phrase "bullying builds character" has always bothered me, since I learned enough English to understand it....
20120623
Okay I lied
I didn't post the full quote / discussion that happened yesterday, or why it made me so upset. It's actually kind of ridiculous and in, one sense, I suppose I brought it on myself. On the other hand, I seriously was not expecting focusing on facts would be an issue, as a junior scientist.
Warning for long post and emotions all over the place.
Warning for long post and emotions all over the place.
20120429
A strange form of feminism
I've had too much tea, am in a writing mood, and am sick of people saying that feminists are "just" women who are bitter because they don't have a (good) boyfriend, are not "real" women, etc. I realized that I've never talked about this explicitly before, but I'm going to attempt to explain what my definition of a "feminist" is, why I would refer to myself as one, and why I think it's necessary. And then I will ramble off target and be confused at what some people are saying because, what? People. Seriously. What.
Right, here we go.
Right, here we go.
20110528
Grad school is giving me mood swings
As people might have guessed from my previous post, one of my experiments, one of the ones that I have spent MONTHS AND MONTHS tormenting myself over, worked. This prompted a fit of ecstasy because there's no euphoria like the feeling when you discover something that no one else in the world knows, and you know that this is not an exaggeration.
I allowed myself thirty minutes of grinning like a idiot before sensibility has to set in and I had to remind myself of just how much more work I have to do in order for this new bit of information to be in anyway useful. But well, that's how it works.
Then another one of my experiments, that I have also been banging my head against a desk for for months and months, also seemed to have worked. I say "seemed" because I cannot seem to convince my collaborator that my signal is real, for a variety of reasons partly stemming from the fact that I don't have QUITE the right type of instrument to record the data (can't use his -- their lab needs it all the time and the only time they don't need it it's after hours and I can't get into their building or lab anyway, given that the whole thing is locked and I don't have the access codes), to the fact that he specialized in hematopoiesis and I specialize in...neural progenitor cells, apparently. But the signal--if it's real-- is expressed exactly where I expect it to be according to my recordings so I had an entire hour of excitement before he mailed back and told me he remains unconvinced.
So now I'm designing three parallel experiments to try to convince him (yes it's important-- if I can't convince a collaborator, then I have no right to expect that I can convince the scientists who are going to review my manuscript).
This happens to be the collaborator who has emailed my PI behind my back (and he still has not acknowledged that he did this, so I guess we are pretending that this did not happen?) and who DID meet up with my PI without my knowledge. Apparently he was concerned that this one experiment is all that I'm doing and that it's taking me over a year and I still have no convincing data. I feel a little -- okay, a lot -- insulted that he thought this is what my capabilities are, though I will acknowledge that IF this is what he believed, he had a right to express concern -- I'd fire me if this were true. I was a little frustrated by this misunderstanding because I did offer to explain my project to him, two or three times, so he can see where our collaboration (which is about 1/12th of my dissertation in terms of itemize experiments at the most and only registered on the priority list because there's a collaborator involved) fits in, but it never happened due to time constraint on his part. So I felt this misunderstanding is unnecessary, not to mention...did he really have to go behind my back to my thesis advisor directly? Really?
Pondering this led me back to a black mood, which directly led to a fit of frustration during which I jury-rigged our million-dollar microscope with LED and tape (which led to one of the post-docs nicknaming me "MacGyver") (which is a new one and, after googling it, I decided that I'm quite flattered by this) so I can re-image my previous three experiments and sent my collaborator the results, which he decided are much better. That was score one for me and my roll of tape (yes I did restore the microscope afterwards -- the other post-docs who need it would throw a fit if I didn't), and I was somewhat cheered.
Then I got a notification that the frame for my new glasses were not covered by my insurance because it was bought at an unrecognized location, despite of the fact that I bought it at the student optometry center where I got my lenses, which were covered. I have yet to sort out but ugh, paper work.
After that I sorted through a bunch of data for my behavioral tests and realized that the really cool bit of data for one of them is no longer statistically significant, after I added in the new data. Lack of significance, when compared to the data from the previous cohort, is very hard to decipher. Cue long moments of staring at my monitor, with that tune -- what's it called? Eye of the Storm?--running through my head. Current interpretation: inconclusive, dammit.
Then I got a very bizarre email from an undergraduate who wanted to know if I was still TAing the course I did last year. When I told her no, she emailed again and asked if I would be willing to help in a review session anyway, despite of the fact that I pointed out to her that there are actual TAs with actual access to the course material who will be running finals review sessions for the course. Though for all I know she could just be emailing all the former TAs individually until she got one that said "yes" (I told her I'd be willing to help answering any question she has about the course material provided that it can fit into my--currently insane--schedule), I decided to feel tentatively flattered by this. (No one I know has been emailed for help after they're done TAing before.) We'll see how legit it is when she mails back possible times.
And then I got my spring evaluation, which means I need to schedule my annual thesis committee meeting pronto, which leads to the scheduling thing in Doodle and two months of time frame I gave to five professors and somehow, of the two professors who have signed in, there are only three days, in a two month period, when they would both have free time. I cringe to think of what the overlap will look like when all five have signed in. Perhaps I ought to have given them four months to pick from?
Many people have compared herding PIs to herding cats. I have had experience in both. My conclusion is that herding cats is infinitely easier because, for all that they may hiss and scratch, I still out-rank them in the grand scheme of things. I cannot drag a hissing and scratching PI from under the couch, so: cats? Easier.
I can spend both days at home this weekend, instead of in lab. This is an automatic brownie point in terms of mood, even if I have to spent a lot of time pouring over papers and data, while muttering to myself like a madman. There are benefits to being at home. Home is where tea is. And ice cream. And sun. It would seem, at a glance, to be ridiculous to be missing the sun while residing in southern California, but such is the fate of a bench scientist-in-training.
And then I got an email for the exam for the martial arts class I've started taking, which I have adored mostly because I live in my head enough as it is and the classes are my two hours each week where I a) learn how to fall without hurting myself and defend myself against someone twice my size and b) am forced (Karen threatened to thwack me with a stick if I didn't stop thinking before I made every move) to be aware of my body as something more than a handy place to house my brain. It is oddly relaxing. Until I get exam notices apparently. I have nothing against the ranking system but another exam. Right after the Greece trip apparently. And I have watched an exam before and it's done with all the people staring at you and it's creepy and I do not need more stress. No. But I suppose it's ...good for personal growth or something. Between the thesis committee scrutinizing my mind and the testing committee scrutinizing my body I, if nothing else, will (need to) become very comfortable with both my mental and physical self very soon. No seriously, I am trying to figure out how mandatory is the exam. So I can figure out if I can skip it.
This requires more tea.
I allowed myself thirty minutes of grinning like a idiot before sensibility has to set in and I had to remind myself of just how much more work I have to do in order for this new bit of information to be in anyway useful. But well, that's how it works.
Then another one of my experiments, that I have also been banging my head against a desk for for months and months, also seemed to have worked. I say "seemed" because I cannot seem to convince my collaborator that my signal is real, for a variety of reasons partly stemming from the fact that I don't have QUITE the right type of instrument to record the data (can't use his -- their lab needs it all the time and the only time they don't need it it's after hours and I can't get into their building or lab anyway, given that the whole thing is locked and I don't have the access codes), to the fact that he specialized in hematopoiesis and I specialize in...neural progenitor cells, apparently. But the signal--if it's real-- is expressed exactly where I expect it to be according to my recordings so I had an entire hour of excitement before he mailed back and told me he remains unconvinced.
So now I'm designing three parallel experiments to try to convince him (yes it's important-- if I can't convince a collaborator, then I have no right to expect that I can convince the scientists who are going to review my manuscript).
This happens to be the collaborator who has emailed my PI behind my back (and he still has not acknowledged that he did this, so I guess we are pretending that this did not happen?) and who DID meet up with my PI without my knowledge. Apparently he was concerned that this one experiment is all that I'm doing and that it's taking me over a year and I still have no convincing data. I feel a little -- okay, a lot -- insulted that he thought this is what my capabilities are, though I will acknowledge that IF this is what he believed, he had a right to express concern -- I'd fire me if this were true. I was a little frustrated by this misunderstanding because I did offer to explain my project to him, two or three times, so he can see where our collaboration (which is about 1/12th of my dissertation in terms of itemize experiments at the most and only registered on the priority list because there's a collaborator involved) fits in, but it never happened due to time constraint on his part. So I felt this misunderstanding is unnecessary, not to mention...did he really have to go behind my back to my thesis advisor directly? Really?
Pondering this led me back to a black mood, which directly led to a fit of frustration during which I jury-rigged our million-dollar microscope with LED and tape (which led to one of the post-docs nicknaming me "MacGyver") (which is a new one and, after googling it, I decided that I'm quite flattered by this) so I can re-image my previous three experiments and sent my collaborator the results, which he decided are much better. That was score one for me and my roll of tape (yes I did restore the microscope afterwards -- the other post-docs who need it would throw a fit if I didn't), and I was somewhat cheered.
Then I got a notification that the frame for my new glasses were not covered by my insurance because it was bought at an unrecognized location, despite of the fact that I bought it at the student optometry center where I got my lenses, which were covered. I have yet to sort out but ugh, paper work.
After that I sorted through a bunch of data for my behavioral tests and realized that the really cool bit of data for one of them is no longer statistically significant, after I added in the new data. Lack of significance, when compared to the data from the previous cohort, is very hard to decipher. Cue long moments of staring at my monitor, with that tune -- what's it called? Eye of the Storm?--running through my head. Current interpretation: inconclusive, dammit.
Then I got a very bizarre email from an undergraduate who wanted to know if I was still TAing the course I did last year. When I told her no, she emailed again and asked if I would be willing to help in a review session anyway, despite of the fact that I pointed out to her that there are actual TAs with actual access to the course material who will be running finals review sessions for the course. Though for all I know she could just be emailing all the former TAs individually until she got one that said "yes" (I told her I'd be willing to help answering any question she has about the course material provided that it can fit into my--currently insane--schedule), I decided to feel tentatively flattered by this. (No one I know has been emailed for help after they're done TAing before.) We'll see how legit it is when she mails back possible times.
And then I got my spring evaluation, which means I need to schedule my annual thesis committee meeting pronto, which leads to the scheduling thing in Doodle and two months of time frame I gave to five professors and somehow, of the two professors who have signed in, there are only three days, in a two month period, when they would both have free time. I cringe to think of what the overlap will look like when all five have signed in. Perhaps I ought to have given them four months to pick from?
Many people have compared herding PIs to herding cats. I have had experience in both. My conclusion is that herding cats is infinitely easier because, for all that they may hiss and scratch, I still out-rank them in the grand scheme of things. I cannot drag a hissing and scratching PI from under the couch, so: cats? Easier.
I can spend both days at home this weekend, instead of in lab. This is an automatic brownie point in terms of mood, even if I have to spent a lot of time pouring over papers and data, while muttering to myself like a madman. There are benefits to being at home. Home is where tea is. And ice cream. And sun. It would seem, at a glance, to be ridiculous to be missing the sun while residing in southern California, but such is the fate of a bench scientist-in-training.
And then I got an email for the exam for the martial arts class I've started taking, which I have adored mostly because I live in my head enough as it is and the classes are my two hours each week where I a) learn how to fall without hurting myself and defend myself against someone twice my size and b) am forced (Karen threatened to thwack me with a stick if I didn't stop thinking before I made every move) to be aware of my body as something more than a handy place to house my brain. It is oddly relaxing. Until I get exam notices apparently. I have nothing against the ranking system but another exam. Right after the Greece trip apparently. And I have watched an exam before and it's done with all the people staring at you and it's creepy and I do not need more stress. No. But I suppose it's ...good for personal growth or something. Between the thesis committee scrutinizing my mind and the testing committee scrutinizing my body I, if nothing else, will (need to) become very comfortable with both my mental and physical self very soon. No seriously, I am trying to figure out how mandatory is the exam. So I can figure out if I can skip it.
This requires more tea.
20110318
Giant hamser balls
Right, so my first "official" talk as a grad student will be next Friday. The schedule for the day was sent out this week and seeing my name listed there gave me approximately 30 seconds worth of nausea. My lab mates assured me that I will be fine. My collaborators assured me I will be fine. I may even be able to believe that I will be fine provided that I somehow stop forgetting to cite random facts on slides two and eighteen. (Chromosome 11, it's on chromosome 11. There are 100-103 sequences in 92 species which are poorly annotated and required hand curation.)
Wendy continued on as before, post graduation. Now that the quarter is over she will be listed as a post-doc, until she leaves for either UCLA or UCSF almost a year from now. We went by the student offices building the other day for food, at which point she suddenly said something along the lines of "Look! A turtle!" Despite of the fact that we are surrounded by concrete and there is no logical reason of why there should be a turtle, I turned to look automatically anyway, and immediately suffered a pang of sympathy for Kowalski, who got pushed out of an airplane for doing the same thing. (Maybe it's just turtles. Or possibly unlikely animals. Or maybe just animals will do? This requires experimentation.) However, in my case, there was indeed a turtle picture posted, randomly, on the giant glass wall of the registrar's office, and no one was pushed off of any moving vehicle, so I counted it as a win.
For those who haven't heard yet: Annie and I will be going to Greece this summer! I got a guidebook and she'll get a different guidebook and we spent a lot of time researching (there was a lot of me typing "BUT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??" and her typing "IDK") and mutually agreeing that banging out the logistics is pretty darn painful (though I have discovered that there are apparently lots of Laundromats on Crete). Tentative plan is to fly out near the end of June for 10 day trip, after which she will get shipped off to field school on one of the islands and I'll fly back from Athens directly to the vivarium, grad school, where I will no doubt have mice waiting for me.
Comic con is sold out already. One of these next few years I will remember to order tickets in...December or something. See that, Lucy? ONE OF THESE YEARS. I WILL.
...I did find time this year to volunteer for the SD Science Festival again and my God, it just gets more and MORE elaborate each year. Orientation was last weekend and the festival's next weekend. We're expecting 30k+ people on Expo Day and I am stationed right by what they have projected will be the busiest gate. Drop by and say 'hi' if you come and I haven't gone crazy from the crowd yet -- will be in a yellow volunteer shirt under a red tent in a sea of white tents. There will be pools. With water. And a human sized hamster ball. The week long events start this weekend though and there is liquid nitrogen ice cream somewhere. Google if you want the schedule.
Wedding album have arrived and have given it to Ashley. She was here last Sunday for a "quick" visit which eventually turned into something where I am prepping food for the week in the kitchen and she's playing scrabble on her phone on the living room floor and we tried to figure out where we are going with our lives. It felt oddly domestic. Have tried to share my experimentation in food with her and got her to try tea (which she normally hated but she will accept the Caribbean Breeze one from Teavana), papaya (which she didn't like) and chayote (and the jury is still out on that one).
Speaking of food, my recent trials are with soup. I have been picking out a different type of canned soup every time to try. Tomato bisque is very good, corn chowder was kind of disgusting. Creme of mushroom was okay. Chicken tortilla should be less spicy and the "hearty" potato one was good. The chicken wild rice tastes just like chicken noodle, if you ignore the texture of the soup, which was frankly strange. Wendy's been attempting to explain artichoke to me, so I might try that next.
Oh and my parents want to come visit, so they'll probably be by some time early April. Have I mentioned that my cousin (five years older) got married? We don't keep in touch, really, but given she's been worrying about getting married since when I was just existing high school, I'm going to say good for her. (If what you want was to be married then marriage is more likely to suite you, right? Right?) My mom forwarded me the photos.
There are loads of other things that happened but this post is getting too long as it is. I'll mention that I tried the "text to donate" thing on my phone and for some reason it didn't work, so I'll have to do it online when I find the time tomorrow. For those who are wondering: no, the amount of supplementary iodine in salt will not protect you -- there is no point in hoarding salt.
Wendy continued on as before, post graduation. Now that the quarter is over she will be listed as a post-doc, until she leaves for either UCLA or UCSF almost a year from now. We went by the student offices building the other day for food, at which point she suddenly said something along the lines of "Look! A turtle!" Despite of the fact that we are surrounded by concrete and there is no logical reason of why there should be a turtle, I turned to look automatically anyway, and immediately suffered a pang of sympathy for Kowalski, who got pushed out of an airplane for doing the same thing. (Maybe it's just turtles. Or possibly unlikely animals. Or maybe just animals will do? This requires experimentation.) However, in my case, there was indeed a turtle picture posted, randomly, on the giant glass wall of the registrar's office, and no one was pushed off of any moving vehicle, so I counted it as a win.
For those who haven't heard yet: Annie and I will be going to Greece this summer! I got a guidebook and she'll get a different guidebook and we spent a lot of time researching (there was a lot of me typing "BUT WHAT DOES THIS MEAN??" and her typing "IDK") and mutually agreeing that banging out the logistics is pretty darn painful (though I have discovered that there are apparently lots of Laundromats on Crete). Tentative plan is to fly out near the end of June for 10 day trip, after which she will get shipped off to field school on one of the islands and I'll fly back from Athens directly to the vivarium, grad school, where I will no doubt have mice waiting for me.
Comic con is sold out already. One of these next few years I will remember to order tickets in...December or something. See that, Lucy? ONE OF THESE YEARS. I WILL.
...I did find time this year to volunteer for the SD Science Festival again and my God, it just gets more and MORE elaborate each year. Orientation was last weekend and the festival's next weekend. We're expecting 30k+ people on Expo Day and I am stationed right by what they have projected will be the busiest gate. Drop by and say 'hi' if you come and I haven't gone crazy from the crowd yet -- will be in a yellow volunteer shirt under a red tent in a sea of white tents. There will be pools. With water. And a human sized hamster ball. The week long events start this weekend though and there is liquid nitrogen ice cream somewhere. Google if you want the schedule.
Wedding album have arrived and have given it to Ashley. She was here last Sunday for a "quick" visit which eventually turned into something where I am prepping food for the week in the kitchen and she's playing scrabble on her phone on the living room floor and we tried to figure out where we are going with our lives. It felt oddly domestic. Have tried to share my experimentation in food with her and got her to try tea (which she normally hated but she will accept the Caribbean Breeze one from Teavana), papaya (which she didn't like) and chayote (and the jury is still out on that one).
Speaking of food, my recent trials are with soup. I have been picking out a different type of canned soup every time to try. Tomato bisque is very good, corn chowder was kind of disgusting. Creme of mushroom was okay. Chicken tortilla should be less spicy and the "hearty" potato one was good. The chicken wild rice tastes just like chicken noodle, if you ignore the texture of the soup, which was frankly strange. Wendy's been attempting to explain artichoke to me, so I might try that next.
Oh and my parents want to come visit, so they'll probably be by some time early April. Have I mentioned that my cousin (five years older) got married? We don't keep in touch, really, but given she's been worrying about getting married since when I was just existing high school, I'm going to say good for her. (If what you want was to be married then marriage is more likely to suite you, right? Right?) My mom forwarded me the photos.
There are loads of other things that happened but this post is getting too long as it is. I'll mention that I tried the "text to donate" thing on my phone and for some reason it didn't work, so I'll have to do it online when I find the time tomorrow. For those who are wondering: no, the amount of supplementary iodine in salt will not protect you -- there is no point in hoarding salt.
20100619
Time is...brain?
So continues my confusion with the advertisements. The above line is part of one of the slogans for the Scripps, "Time is brain, think FAST." I can see how the perception of time and the brain relate. What I still can't understand is how one equate the other.
People are strange.
Okay now for the long recap, I'll try to organize it by days and see how it goes.
Friday, last week: the undergrad assistants did not ditch us, and so I had relatively little to do in terms of grading. To celebrate, I ate a box of Pocky and taught myself how to do inner ear dissections. (And subsequently discovered a maddening tendency to type / write "innear" instead of "inner ear".) It was difficult. I messed up two out of eight samples but, in my defense, I was dissecting out membranous, cork-spring-ing tubes that are embedded in bone, where the largest part is about 2mm at its longest part. I actually felt rather pleased that I managed to get six out of eight and, when the PI passed by later to see what I was up to, showed him my results (which were floating in 4% paraformaldehyde). He had trouble spotting them in the paraformaldehyde solution and was confused / amazed that those things can be dissected out. I felt that I had fulfilled my job as a grad student.
Saturday: Lucy came, we went to get food (since I mostly depleted my fridge the past week) and I marveled at how nice it is to sit around not having to do/think anything. I like thinking. I like thinking about things. I think more people should think abut things. However, after my brain's been placed under stress / in overdrive like it had been that week, slouching against the wall listening to birds chirp was very nice. We got Greek food and discovered moussaka (it was delicious, by the way).Then Lucy introduced me to the wonder that is the 11th Doctor and Amy. I like the 11th better than the 9th, possibility because I can identify with the talking-self-through-thought-processes-very-fast trait very well. Too well. (My PI has told me that I talk too fast, and he talks fast himself.) There was the part where he muttered, "Com'on, brain, think!" which is pretty much what I tell myself often, so I can definitely relate. Amy has rapidly gained a place as one of my favorite female leads of all time (I also liked Alice from the recent Alice In Wonderland film, in case you're wondering), since she is a) courageous, if occasionally lacking in foresight b) smart, in the sense that although she might not have the breath of knowledge that the Doctor does, she's genuinely observant and clever, and c) has a sense of humor. (See: Peruvian folk band.) Also in the same day: played with Lucy's phone's dice widget, with the result that we craved eggs and had to look up the difference between "sunny side up" and "over easy" (and Anna, the next morning, proved herself to be even more helpful than the Internets). Lucy's also introduced me to the weird circular version of Bejeweled on her computer. It was very addictive.
Sunday: Went to see Prince of Persia with Lucy and was pleasantly surprised. Mostly from the trailer I was expecting an adventure / fantasy film that's fun to watch. I wasn't expecting the characters to be actually more than two-dimensional (see: Avatar), I wasn't expecting a truly interesting plot, and I certainly wasn't expecting themes. (They beat the "destiny" one to death, but given the plot and that the kind of movie that it is -- well, nothing's perfect and I'm more than willing to forgive.) Then I renewed my acquaintance with Greek food (gyros sandwich very good; also, I got to have fries), and watched more Doctor Who. I have now watched up to the Dream Lord episode and grins whenever I hear really loud bird chirping. (Seriously, I think Amy, Rory, and the Doctor should be conditioned -- yes in the Pavlovian sense -- to paranoia at that particular cue after that experience). I also got the "Gotta Get Back to Hogwarts" song from the HP musical stuck in my head, for which I blame Lucy entirely.
Monday, this week: start of my week of trying to get back in the rhythm of full length lab days and ended up playing a lot of games of "what did I forget?" as I tried to remember what I did and how for the experiments done during / before spring quarter. Discovered that the girl who was going to trade supply fund with me this year (resulting in my rather rushed foray into researching the pros and cons of different types of Vaio laptops) had decided that there were things she wanted to get after all, so we called off the laptop thing.
Tuesday: discovered Trillian Astra. Very shiny, very aesthetically pleasing, very confused about the invisibility status of the gchat plug-in (due to the nature of the original gchat interface, according to the wisdom of the Internets). However, it does allow connections to twitter, facebook, msn messenger, yahoo messenger, aim, and ICQ (and a unique Trillian chat program that I will probably never use), which is handy. I cleaned up my contact lists and generally annoyed everyone who was online at that time by signing on and off a lot as Lucy and I tried to figure out how the invisibility option is (or isn't) working.
Wednesday, Thursday: massive amount of cryostat time. I am nearly done with all of my sectioning, thank God. I pondered what to do with what's left of my supply fund (it has to be used before the end of June). I also pondered when to fly back to bay area, given the timing of the birth of my mice, that mom's flying out of the country in August, and that I have to present in lab meeting at the end of August.
Friday: went to the Japanese place that Wendy had introduced me to and had my end of the quarter udon (I like udon, I don't like ramen, and I am still mystified by the fish-flavored thing they put in the noodles). Our undergrad's doing an undergrad research poster presentation that afternoon, so our entire lab trooped over, field-trip style, to cheer her on and look around. (I noticed that something like 80% of the PIs listed in those posters came from the PIs in my program. I like to think it's because we have really nice PIs who do really cool stuff that even undergrads know they're cool and are interested in helping out -- and yes, that was sort of how I picked my senior thesis lab. It was gratifying.) One of my undergrads (from my discussion section) emailed me to complain about grades. I emailed back and then allowed myself about an hour of obligatory guilt (I can't help the initial response of feeling like that I'd failed them in some unknown but significant way), but if they scored that low on both of their exams, there really wasn't any way that they could've gotten anything but what they did get. At which point I decided to cut short my remorse: the quarter's over, the grades are posted, I did a lot of the scoring but didn't assign the grades and they are no longer my responsibility, anyway. Bitter recrimination is always doable but at this stage? Very unproductive. I decided to use what's left of my supply fund to buy some textbooks and managed to get a brand new neuroscience textbook that was very new and very shiny (sorry for the obsession, but those things usually cost over a hundred dollars so I'd never thought I'd be able to afford to get a brand new copy). It made my day better. Books improve my day. Then I received a letter from my mom, which is five pages (front and back) handwritten, and ended up crying for over an hour over it. But you know, that's parents for you -- they know how to push all your buttons because they're the ones who put the buttons there. We're mostly good now, though, so I'm glad.
Today: had a very good morning (with tea). Did the random items run that I do once every few months and probably puzzled the store clerks (by getting really strange assortments of things, from shampoo to cereal to gum to wire whisk -- and yes Lucy, I did finally get the whisk). Did laundry. Got hair cut by a new but very nice lady. Went present shopping, which is always fun, and my venture today proved to be fruitful, too. (The only kind of shopping I like better than present shopping is nursery/gardening supply shopping. Book shopping doesn't count. I usually know the exact book I want to buy, so I don't browse. I browse in libraries.) I also went and finally tried the No. 73 frappe from Chuao's. Remember? Last summer I tried the one that's around 50% cocoa and decided that it was too sweet. I can now say that, for me, the 73% is very good, as in a moment of bliss good. It's really too bad that there's so much methylxanthine in there (mostly theobromine, I think) that I dare not drink the entire thing, since I'd like to sleep on time tonight.
Planned for tomorrow: grocery run, smog check, and baking cookies!
People are strange.
Okay now for the long recap, I'll try to organize it by days and see how it goes.
Friday, last week: the undergrad assistants did not ditch us, and so I had relatively little to do in terms of grading. To celebrate, I ate a box of Pocky and taught myself how to do inner ear dissections. (And subsequently discovered a maddening tendency to type / write "innear" instead of "inner ear".) It was difficult. I messed up two out of eight samples but, in my defense, I was dissecting out membranous, cork-spring-ing tubes that are embedded in bone, where the largest part is about 2mm at its longest part. I actually felt rather pleased that I managed to get six out of eight and, when the PI passed by later to see what I was up to, showed him my results (which were floating in 4% paraformaldehyde). He had trouble spotting them in the paraformaldehyde solution and was confused / amazed that those things can be dissected out. I felt that I had fulfilled my job as a grad student.
Saturday: Lucy came, we went to get food (since I mostly depleted my fridge the past week) and I marveled at how nice it is to sit around not having to do/think anything. I like thinking. I like thinking about things. I think more people should think abut things. However, after my brain's been placed under stress / in overdrive like it had been that week, slouching against the wall listening to birds chirp was very nice. We got Greek food and discovered moussaka (it was delicious, by the way).Then Lucy introduced me to the wonder that is the 11th Doctor and Amy. I like the 11th better than the 9th, possibility because I can identify with the talking-self-through-thought-processes-very-fast trait very well. Too well. (My PI has told me that I talk too fast, and he talks fast himself.) There was the part where he muttered, "Com'on, brain, think!" which is pretty much what I tell myself often, so I can definitely relate. Amy has rapidly gained a place as one of my favorite female leads of all time (I also liked Alice from the recent Alice In Wonderland film, in case you're wondering), since she is a) courageous, if occasionally lacking in foresight b) smart, in the sense that although she might not have the breath of knowledge that the Doctor does, she's genuinely observant and clever, and c) has a sense of humor. (See: Peruvian folk band.) Also in the same day: played with Lucy's phone's dice widget, with the result that we craved eggs and had to look up the difference between "sunny side up" and "over easy" (and Anna, the next morning, proved herself to be even more helpful than the Internets). Lucy's also introduced me to the weird circular version of Bejeweled on her computer. It was very addictive.
Sunday: Went to see Prince of Persia with Lucy and was pleasantly surprised. Mostly from the trailer I was expecting an adventure / fantasy film that's fun to watch. I wasn't expecting the characters to be actually more than two-dimensional (see: Avatar), I wasn't expecting a truly interesting plot, and I certainly wasn't expecting themes. (They beat the "destiny" one to death, but given the plot and that the kind of movie that it is -- well, nothing's perfect and I'm more than willing to forgive.) Then I renewed my acquaintance with Greek food (gyros sandwich very good; also, I got to have fries), and watched more Doctor Who. I have now watched up to the Dream Lord episode and grins whenever I hear really loud bird chirping. (Seriously, I think Amy, Rory, and the Doctor should be conditioned -- yes in the Pavlovian sense -- to paranoia at that particular cue after that experience). I also got the "Gotta Get Back to Hogwarts" song from the HP musical stuck in my head, for which I blame Lucy entirely.
Monday, this week: start of my week of trying to get back in the rhythm of full length lab days and ended up playing a lot of games of "what did I forget?" as I tried to remember what I did and how for the experiments done during / before spring quarter. Discovered that the girl who was going to trade supply fund with me this year (resulting in my rather rushed foray into researching the pros and cons of different types of Vaio laptops) had decided that there were things she wanted to get after all, so we called off the laptop thing.
Tuesday: discovered Trillian Astra. Very shiny, very aesthetically pleasing, very confused about the invisibility status of the gchat plug-in (due to the nature of the original gchat interface, according to the wisdom of the Internets). However, it does allow connections to twitter, facebook, msn messenger, yahoo messenger, aim, and ICQ (and a unique Trillian chat program that I will probably never use), which is handy. I cleaned up my contact lists and generally annoyed everyone who was online at that time by signing on and off a lot as Lucy and I tried to figure out how the invisibility option is (or isn't) working.
Wednesday, Thursday: massive amount of cryostat time. I am nearly done with all of my sectioning, thank God. I pondered what to do with what's left of my supply fund (it has to be used before the end of June). I also pondered when to fly back to bay area, given the timing of the birth of my mice, that mom's flying out of the country in August, and that I have to present in lab meeting at the end of August.
Friday: went to the Japanese place that Wendy had introduced me to and had my end of the quarter udon (I like udon, I don't like ramen, and I am still mystified by the fish-flavored thing they put in the noodles). Our undergrad's doing an undergrad research poster presentation that afternoon, so our entire lab trooped over, field-trip style, to cheer her on and look around. (I noticed that something like 80% of the PIs listed in those posters came from the PIs in my program. I like to think it's because we have really nice PIs who do really cool stuff that even undergrads know they're cool and are interested in helping out -- and yes, that was sort of how I picked my senior thesis lab. It was gratifying.) One of my undergrads (from my discussion section) emailed me to complain about grades. I emailed back and then allowed myself about an hour of obligatory guilt (I can't help the initial response of feeling like that I'd failed them in some unknown but significant way), but if they scored that low on both of their exams, there really wasn't any way that they could've gotten anything but what they did get. At which point I decided to cut short my remorse: the quarter's over, the grades are posted, I did a lot of the scoring but didn't assign the grades and they are no longer my responsibility, anyway. Bitter recrimination is always doable but at this stage? Very unproductive. I decided to use what's left of my supply fund to buy some textbooks and managed to get a brand new neuroscience textbook that was very new and very shiny (sorry for the obsession, but those things usually cost over a hundred dollars so I'd never thought I'd be able to afford to get a brand new copy). It made my day better. Books improve my day. Then I received a letter from my mom, which is five pages (front and back) handwritten, and ended up crying for over an hour over it. But you know, that's parents for you -- they know how to push all your buttons because they're the ones who put the buttons there. We're mostly good now, though, so I'm glad.
Today: had a very good morning (with tea). Did the random items run that I do once every few months and probably puzzled the store clerks (by getting really strange assortments of things, from shampoo to cereal to gum to wire whisk -- and yes Lucy, I did finally get the whisk). Did laundry. Got hair cut by a new but very nice lady. Went present shopping, which is always fun, and my venture today proved to be fruitful, too. (The only kind of shopping I like better than present shopping is nursery/gardening supply shopping. Book shopping doesn't count. I usually know the exact book I want to buy, so I don't browse. I browse in libraries.) I also went and finally tried the No. 73 frappe from Chuao's. Remember? Last summer I tried the one that's around 50% cocoa and decided that it was too sweet. I can now say that, for me, the 73% is very good, as in a moment of bliss good. It's really too bad that there's so much methylxanthine in there (mostly theobromine, I think) that I dare not drink the entire thing, since I'd like to sleep on time tonight.
Planned for tomorrow: grocery run, smog check, and baking cookies!
20100523
We has cranes
They are building a lot of things on campus right now...a new student housing place for the School Of Med people and a telemedicine building. (Note: Wendy and I had to google it when we first heard of that one, because telemedicine sounds like telekinesis or something and we weren't sure what it is or why it needed its own building.) I just heard last week that they're thinking of building of another building for our program (we already have a building named after that family...I guess the family/foundation is very wealthy & philanthropic) and should that ever get completed (not going to happen during my stay at here) our lab might move there.
Mostly I just look around that the School of Med area and wonder where the heck they're going to stick another building. We're pretty full. Unless they want to cross the highway and build it in the eastern campus, I suppose.
I also had spare time this weekend, most of which I used yesterday to read GAME OF THRONES. (Bits of it are unexpectedly gruesome. I mean, I really did NOT need that depth of detail for what the scars look like. Or the sounds people make when tortured.) I've also sorted through my accumulating pile of already-read mail that I've yet to deal with, and uncovered a very nice cheque that needs to be cashed as well as the Chase letter telling me to activate my debit card. A visit to the bank is in order. Or at least an ATM machine.
The weather is really good here today and made me regret the fact that I now live in a place where it's not possible to go more than what feels like five steps without stepping off of a curb and worry about being run over. (Sun's out = crowded beach, unless I want to go really early, which I couldn't today because I had errands to run that I'd prefer to get done before there is a crowd.) As it is I've opened the windows and the door to let the wind through, and enough of it had gone through to knock fridge magnets (and the papers they were holding up) onto the floor (a lack of foresight on my part, I guess). It feels nice though.
Tried a cereal called "Wheat-fuls" from "Mom's Best" brand. It's like the regular frosted wheats except...more bland. I don't know how else to describe this, but I've never been so bored by cereal before. It's a novel experience.
In addition, I've been composing a list of things I've been meaning to get, but never got around to buying, for whatever reason (some of which being that I need to do a bit of background research before buying and I've just never found the time). I've been considering steadily working my way down the list once the quarter is over, except yesterday I'm suddenly struck by the idea of whether or not it's wise of me to accumulate worldly goods, given that I have no idea where I'll end up (except it will not be here) or how many times I'll have to move in the future. Yes, there's storage space, but is it really a good idea to collect so much knickknacks when I'm not even certain if there'll be someone around to help me move in the future? Not to mention given how much thought I tend to invest before buying something (except essentials such as food and such), even if that something is not something I need, per se, (e.g. a certain book), I'm not going to be willing to just sell it whenever I have to move. (If I can part with it so easily there's a much lower chance I'd buy it in the first place.)
Then I think that maybe I'm thinking to much, and if I really wanted to get something I should just go ahead and buy it. I still have at least three years to enjoy myself before worrying about storage spaces, after all. Except this line of thought usually end with me clutching my head and thinking, "But this is such an irresponsible line of thought!"
...Yep. I don't think I'm suited for commercialism. Or whatever this things is.
Mostly I just look around that the School of Med area and wonder where the heck they're going to stick another building. We're pretty full. Unless they want to cross the highway and build it in the eastern campus, I suppose.
I also had spare time this weekend, most of which I used yesterday to read GAME OF THRONES. (Bits of it are unexpectedly gruesome. I mean, I really did NOT need that depth of detail for what the scars look like. Or the sounds people make when tortured.) I've also sorted through my accumulating pile of already-read mail that I've yet to deal with, and uncovered a very nice cheque that needs to be cashed as well as the Chase letter telling me to activate my debit card. A visit to the bank is in order. Or at least an ATM machine.
The weather is really good here today and made me regret the fact that I now live in a place where it's not possible to go more than what feels like five steps without stepping off of a curb and worry about being run over. (Sun's out = crowded beach, unless I want to go really early, which I couldn't today because I had errands to run that I'd prefer to get done before there is a crowd.) As it is I've opened the windows and the door to let the wind through, and enough of it had gone through to knock fridge magnets (and the papers they were holding up) onto the floor (a lack of foresight on my part, I guess). It feels nice though.
Tried a cereal called "Wheat-fuls" from "Mom's Best" brand. It's like the regular frosted wheats except...more bland. I don't know how else to describe this, but I've never been so bored by cereal before. It's a novel experience.
In addition, I've been composing a list of things I've been meaning to get, but never got around to buying, for whatever reason (some of which being that I need to do a bit of background research before buying and I've just never found the time). I've been considering steadily working my way down the list once the quarter is over, except yesterday I'm suddenly struck by the idea of whether or not it's wise of me to accumulate worldly goods, given that I have no idea where I'll end up (except it will not be here) or how many times I'll have to move in the future. Yes, there's storage space, but is it really a good idea to collect so much knickknacks when I'm not even certain if there'll be someone around to help me move in the future? Not to mention given how much thought I tend to invest before buying something (except essentials such as food and such), even if that something is not something I need, per se, (e.g. a certain book), I'm not going to be willing to just sell it whenever I have to move. (If I can part with it so easily there's a much lower chance I'd buy it in the first place.)
Then I think that maybe I'm thinking to much, and if I really wanted to get something I should just go ahead and buy it. I still have at least three years to enjoy myself before worrying about storage spaces, after all. Except this line of thought usually end with me clutching my head and thinking, "But this is such an irresponsible line of thought!"
...Yep. I don't think I'm suited for commercialism. Or whatever this things is.
20100425
Why we can't cure the flu
Occasionally for my classwork I stumble across a project that contains information that I can share that people will care about. I mean, sure, I think making haploid fish is cool, but unless you're doing mutagenesis in zebrafish, the chance that you'll care about haploid fish is pretty slim. Flu though, I think everyone can relate to. I can relate to it, which was why I picked the topic, given that our theme for this quarter is host and pathogens interactions, which is so far from my area of interest (genetics / neuroscience) that it was hard to pick out something that won't lead to me banging my head against the desk over some aspect of immunology. (I'm terrible at immunology.)
So, the flu, also known as influenza, is a type of virus. I'll take another moment to broadcast the crusade that most of the people in the medical field have been engaged in for the past decade, which is "antibiotics don't work on cold / flu". Antibiotic is for bacterial infection. Cold and flu are caused by viruses. You need antivirals.
Given this is the case, you say, why aren't people just popping antivirals left and right every flu season? The answer to that is evolution, actually. A virus particle is mostly just a protein shell, which gets the virus in and out of cells, and protects the nucleic acid enclosed in that shell, which codes for the proteins. Influenza codes for 11 proteins. It's a small, simple system for a small simple organism, which means replication doesn't take that long. (We have gazillions of proteins and a cell cycle of around one replication per day, so starting from one cell it takes US a lot longer to procreate than a virus, which is much, much simpler than a cell, and much smaller (image: the small blob with the cheerios stuck on it is the virus, the ocean-covered mini-planet is your cell).
What does this mean? This means that a virus has no proof-reading mechanism or correction mechanism like we do, because it's so simple, which means each time it makes a copy of its genes to give to its progeny whatever mistake it made during copying is just going to get passed on. Take into account that a virus replicates extremely fast under optimal conditions (read: your cell), and that the location of the mistake is random, the chances that a random mistake will be a mistake that'll mutate the protein that our antiviral targets are pretty good.
While all this is happening, you have to wonder about our immune system. I mean it has to be pretty good, right? Because otherwise we wouldn't be here. We do have innate immunity that can recognize viral particles, namely the proteins exposed on the outside of a virus. If we develop antibodies against them, we won't get infected. If the virus somehow makes it past that stage (hey, innate immunity takes time to develop), we also have cell-mediated immunity, which can recognize proteins that will only be exposed once the virus has made its way into your cell (and shed the cheerios). If we develop antibodies against these, we can still get infected, but our symptoms will be less severe. Our cells will be able to clear the virus from themselves but they won't be able to prevent the initial infection.
(In case if you're curious, this is how flu shots work. There're two types of vaccines. One with killed viruses so your body gets a chance to be exposed to the viral proteins without being exposed to a live virus, so basically it'll have the time to come up with working antibodies without the risk of infection. However, the downside is, the virus is dead, which means when your body first sees it, it sees only the dead-virus-appearance and even though you won't get sick, you can still serve as a live incubator for virus. Or something. I'm a little shaky on the details on this one. The other type is the live virus vaccine, which means that yes your body gets to see a less virulent strain of the infective virus. It takes a bit longer for your body to cope with this one because it's a live virus and it does infect things a little, but it also means your body can go "ZMG VIRUS!" from the moment the real disease-causing-virus makes its way into your mucosal lining of your airway.)
And THEN you take into account that one of the antiviral targets we use is targeted against an exposed protein, neuroaminidase (needed for the baby viruses to bud from your cells so they can infect your other cells) (viruses like to share). Proteins exposed on the surface of a virus evolve extremely fast. That's why you have to get a flu shot every year. Both the immune system and the antivirals are essentially selecting for viruses with mistakes in their genes that allows them to not be killed by your immune system or your drugs. Which means that yes, we have viruses resistant to antivirals right now so we try to keep a lid on it by not using antivirals until we absolutely have to (decrease selection means that all viruses are created equal, and a smaller fraction of it will be antiviral resistant and so your immune system has a better chance to win against it) (as opposed to antiviral all the time which means all the non-resistant viruses will be killed off and the only viruses left will ALL be resistant). (By the way, this is another reason why med people get so pissed about people adding antibacterial drugs to practically everything; we're running out of working antibiotics, folks.)
Does that mean we're doomed? No. Our immune system is quite good if you consider humanity as a whole. Immune system of the host is constantly evolving to keep up with the pathogen; we have people who are naturally resistant to HIV. In addition, we are doing more research to find better targets for antivirals than just hemagglutinin and neuroaminidase (the two main protein exposed on the surface of viruses and the fastest evolving proteins) (random FYI: the names H5N1 and H1N1? Stands for Hemagglutinin class 5 Neuroaminidase class 1 -- their outer-shell is used as a way to classify viruses and does correlate with how infectious the virus is). I'll be doing a presentation the week after next week on a paper by Konig et. al, where they figured that since the virus proteins are changing so fast, why don't we target human cell machinery that the viruses steals to replicate with drugs instead? And they managed to find some targets that will not kill human cells (very important to check for, as I'm sure you'll understand) that if targeted, will reduce virus infectivity. Pretty cool, I think.
If anyone wants more information, PLoS (open-access to all) has a pretty decent review article here, called "Pandemic Influenza: the Inside Story". It's got relatively little tech-babble compared to the other stuff I've been reading.
And one last thing? After all this talk about no gold bullet for the flu, you know what's a tested and proven way of flu-prevention? Hygiene. Cover your mouth when you sneeze / cough, people! (And wash your hands...etc.) As someone who braves the public transit twice a day AND works in a biology lab, I'm at the point where I involuntarily flinch when someone sneezes on me. Vitamin C can also help a little by giving your immune system a little boost, but I've seen too many people randomly over-dose themselves on vitamins to feel comfortable endorsing it. It doesn't need endorsement.
So, the flu, also known as influenza, is a type of virus. I'll take another moment to broadcast the crusade that most of the people in the medical field have been engaged in for the past decade, which is "antibiotics don't work on cold / flu". Antibiotic is for bacterial infection. Cold and flu are caused by viruses. You need antivirals.
Given this is the case, you say, why aren't people just popping antivirals left and right every flu season? The answer to that is evolution, actually. A virus particle is mostly just a protein shell, which gets the virus in and out of cells, and protects the nucleic acid enclosed in that shell, which codes for the proteins. Influenza codes for 11 proteins. It's a small, simple system for a small simple organism, which means replication doesn't take that long. (We have gazillions of proteins and a cell cycle of around one replication per day, so starting from one cell it takes US a lot longer to procreate than a virus, which is much, much simpler than a cell, and much smaller (image: the small blob with the cheerios stuck on it is the virus, the ocean-covered mini-planet is your cell).
What does this mean? This means that a virus has no proof-reading mechanism or correction mechanism like we do, because it's so simple, which means each time it makes a copy of its genes to give to its progeny whatever mistake it made during copying is just going to get passed on. Take into account that a virus replicates extremely fast under optimal conditions (read: your cell), and that the location of the mistake is random, the chances that a random mistake will be a mistake that'll mutate the protein that our antiviral targets are pretty good.
While all this is happening, you have to wonder about our immune system. I mean it has to be pretty good, right? Because otherwise we wouldn't be here. We do have innate immunity that can recognize viral particles, namely the proteins exposed on the outside of a virus. If we develop antibodies against them, we won't get infected. If the virus somehow makes it past that stage (hey, innate immunity takes time to develop), we also have cell-mediated immunity, which can recognize proteins that will only be exposed once the virus has made its way into your cell (and shed the cheerios). If we develop antibodies against these, we can still get infected, but our symptoms will be less severe. Our cells will be able to clear the virus from themselves but they won't be able to prevent the initial infection.
(In case if you're curious, this is how flu shots work. There're two types of vaccines. One with killed viruses so your body gets a chance to be exposed to the viral proteins without being exposed to a live virus, so basically it'll have the time to come up with working antibodies without the risk of infection. However, the downside is, the virus is dead, which means when your body first sees it, it sees only the dead-virus-appearance and even though you won't get sick, you can still serve as a live incubator for virus. Or something. I'm a little shaky on the details on this one. The other type is the live virus vaccine, which means that yes your body gets to see a less virulent strain of the infective virus. It takes a bit longer for your body to cope with this one because it's a live virus and it does infect things a little, but it also means your body can go "ZMG VIRUS!" from the moment the real disease-causing-virus makes its way into your mucosal lining of your airway.)
And THEN you take into account that one of the antiviral targets we use is targeted against an exposed protein, neuroaminidase (needed for the baby viruses to bud from your cells so they can infect your other cells) (viruses like to share). Proteins exposed on the surface of a virus evolve extremely fast. That's why you have to get a flu shot every year. Both the immune system and the antivirals are essentially selecting for viruses with mistakes in their genes that allows them to not be killed by your immune system or your drugs. Which means that yes, we have viruses resistant to antivirals right now so we try to keep a lid on it by not using antivirals until we absolutely have to (decrease selection means that all viruses are created equal, and a smaller fraction of it will be antiviral resistant and so your immune system has a better chance to win against it) (as opposed to antiviral all the time which means all the non-resistant viruses will be killed off and the only viruses left will ALL be resistant). (By the way, this is another reason why med people get so pissed about people adding antibacterial drugs to practically everything; we're running out of working antibiotics, folks.)
Does that mean we're doomed? No. Our immune system is quite good if you consider humanity as a whole. Immune system of the host is constantly evolving to keep up with the pathogen; we have people who are naturally resistant to HIV. In addition, we are doing more research to find better targets for antivirals than just hemagglutinin and neuroaminidase (the two main protein exposed on the surface of viruses and the fastest evolving proteins) (random FYI: the names H5N1 and H1N1? Stands for Hemagglutinin class 5 Neuroaminidase class 1 -- their outer-shell is used as a way to classify viruses and does correlate with how infectious the virus is). I'll be doing a presentation the week after next week on a paper by Konig et. al, where they figured that since the virus proteins are changing so fast, why don't we target human cell machinery that the viruses steals to replicate with drugs instead? And they managed to find some targets that will not kill human cells (very important to check for, as I'm sure you'll understand) that if targeted, will reduce virus infectivity. Pretty cool, I think.
If anyone wants more information, PLoS (open-access to all) has a pretty decent review article here, called "Pandemic Influenza: the Inside Story". It's got relatively little tech-babble compared to the other stuff I've been reading.
And one last thing? After all this talk about no gold bullet for the flu, you know what's a tested and proven way of flu-prevention? Hygiene. Cover your mouth when you sneeze / cough, people! (And wash your hands...etc.) As someone who braves the public transit twice a day AND works in a biology lab, I'm at the point where I involuntarily flinch when someone sneezes on me. Vitamin C can also help a little by giving your immune system a little boost, but I've seen too many people randomly over-dose themselves on vitamins to feel comfortable endorsing it. It doesn't need endorsement.
20100411
Animal rights, you're doing it wrong
Recently I've received this sort of email:
...etc etc.
One of the things that always bothered me, in terms of logic, is how those people can think that hurting people is okay in order to make a point about hurting animals. I mean, aren't humans, Home sapiens sapiens, a species of animal? Or was there some sort of recent groundbreaking anthropological discovery that I'd completely missed? So how can they justifying hurting one species to make a point about hurting other species? Or does our species get ignored? (Isn't that specie-ist? Which is not a word?) Is it because we have the ability to take care or hurt other species? Are all animal right activists vegetarians? If they are not, does that mean the doing research on chick and fish is okay because they're species that we'd eat? What do those people do when they have pest infestation at their home? Oh wait, that brings me to...
...point B. How some of them really, really need to review the tree of life (I'm going to take a big leap of faith and assume that not all of them are allergic to the concept of evolution). Humans are classified under kingdom Animalia. So are mice, chicken, cows and such, but also fish, flies, lamprey and worms. Do they pick what species they are willing to consider animals based on cuteness? That's unfair. Those animals didn't choose to look the way they do. (Besides, if they could comprehend that "cute" meant they'd probably think the human standards are pretty stupid.) (Just a statement of fact: different species have different criteria on what's attractive. Blue-footed boobies, for instance, view brightly colored foot as the epitome of beauty.)
Finally, the part that always makes me wince: what some of those people try to do to "free" the animals. We hear stories about it after some of the people have been apprehended by the police, and after Finding Nemo I live in horror that some people might think flushing fish down the toilet is an excellent & simple way to set the poor fish free. (It isn't.) Oh and then there are the people who set lab mice free by releasing them in a nearby park or something. On the whole lab animals tend to be very strange and inbred. They are raised in a sterile environment (seriously, my mice are cleaner than I am, considering that I brave the public transit twice a day -- we're all required to gown-up like we're entering the OR to enter our vivarium), they are fed and watered daily and has never had any needs to fend for themselves. A lot of them have traits, not even taking into account the mutant animals, that make them unsuited for living in the wild. (White mice don't blend particular well on anything but snow, and if it's snow then the mice won't make it anyway since they have too much bare skin exposed, they need to be in partial hibernation or something for heat and energy conservation.) My mice get their cages checked for cleanliness twice a week, are fed a diet that's probably more balanced than what most of my classmates eat on a monthly basis, and believe their world is a rectangular box where the wind comes from the dark side of the cage and food and water comes from the sky (the holder is located at the top of the cage). Putting them into the wild is akin to sentencing them to death. Release the chicks? We have coyotes around here. They aren't going to make it very long.
The last line that I should mention is that, given the big hubbub that always happens whenever some medical trial fall through in a bad way and people end up either sick or dead, is it really a good idea to drop out the only link we have between cell culture trials and human trials? Everyone I know who works with animals hates the part where we have to sacrifice the animals, but we do it because it's necessary. For instance, we really do need to know if the animal is getting sicker because a drug has managed to leak across the blood brain barrier into the brain when it's not supposed to, or if the animal's getting sicker just because it's old and old animals tend to develop all kinds of diseases (in mice it goes very similar to the way it goes in humans). And no, we can't wait until the animal's died. First of all, the fact that the animal is sick and we can't cure it (because we don't know what's wrong) means that by letting it live, we are prolonging it's agony. Second of all, diffusion (for a lack of a better word) occurs very rapidly within the body. Depending on the drug, the half life may only be an hour (prolonging half-life is a part of biomed research though), and for some of them, they will only go to certain parts of the body when they're at a critical dosage. The brain starts to decompose the moment the circulation stops. At thirty minutes it's reduced to mush (yeah my dissections are always fun) (yes I'm being sarcastic). There is no system where an animal is monitored 24/7 by people that would allow us to collect an animal the instant its heart stopped beating etc etc. And this is just to list a fairly simple example with very few difficulties.
Seriously, people.
TO FACULTY AND STAFF
This notice is to advise you of the upcoming World Laboratory Animal Liberation Week from April 17-April 26, 2010.
We want to remind you to be especially mindful of security during these 10 days. Within the past several years there have been several instances of university research laboratories in California broken into by animal rights extremists. The activists not only destroyed valuable research data, computers and laboratory equipment, but also stole information including researchers’ home addresses, phone numbers and names of spouses. This information was later utilized to send threatening letters, deface personal residences, and instill fear amongst research staff and their families.
Several years ago, we have received several bomb threats directed at animal research labs on campus. This resulted in the evacuation of several campus buildings and ultimately led to the discovery of a fake bomb device and subsequent arrest of those responsible. In addition, a number of attacks at personal residences of some of the faculty and staff have been investigated.
We ask you to follow correct security procedures and measures at all times but especially now – please read and follow these tips:
...etc etc.
One of the things that always bothered me, in terms of logic, is how those people can think that hurting people is okay in order to make a point about hurting animals. I mean, aren't humans, Home sapiens sapiens, a species of animal? Or was there some sort of recent groundbreaking anthropological discovery that I'd completely missed? So how can they justifying hurting one species to make a point about hurting other species? Or does our species get ignored? (Isn't that specie-ist? Which is not a word?) Is it because we have the ability to take care or hurt other species? Are all animal right activists vegetarians? If they are not, does that mean the doing research on chick and fish is okay because they're species that we'd eat? What do those people do when they have pest infestation at their home? Oh wait, that brings me to...
...point B. How some of them really, really need to review the tree of life (I'm going to take a big leap of faith and assume that not all of them are allergic to the concept of evolution). Humans are classified under kingdom Animalia. So are mice, chicken, cows and such, but also fish, flies, lamprey and worms. Do they pick what species they are willing to consider animals based on cuteness? That's unfair. Those animals didn't choose to look the way they do. (Besides, if they could comprehend that "cute" meant they'd probably think the human standards are pretty stupid.) (Just a statement of fact: different species have different criteria on what's attractive. Blue-footed boobies, for instance, view brightly colored foot as the epitome of beauty.)
Finally, the part that always makes me wince: what some of those people try to do to "free" the animals. We hear stories about it after some of the people have been apprehended by the police, and after Finding Nemo I live in horror that some people might think flushing fish down the toilet is an excellent & simple way to set the poor fish free. (It isn't.) Oh and then there are the people who set lab mice free by releasing them in a nearby park or something. On the whole lab animals tend to be very strange and inbred. They are raised in a sterile environment (seriously, my mice are cleaner than I am, considering that I brave the public transit twice a day -- we're all required to gown-up like we're entering the OR to enter our vivarium), they are fed and watered daily and has never had any needs to fend for themselves. A lot of them have traits, not even taking into account the mutant animals, that make them unsuited for living in the wild. (White mice don't blend particular well on anything but snow, and if it's snow then the mice won't make it anyway since they have too much bare skin exposed, they need to be in partial hibernation or something for heat and energy conservation.) My mice get their cages checked for cleanliness twice a week, are fed a diet that's probably more balanced than what most of my classmates eat on a monthly basis, and believe their world is a rectangular box where the wind comes from the dark side of the cage and food and water comes from the sky (the holder is located at the top of the cage). Putting them into the wild is akin to sentencing them to death. Release the chicks? We have coyotes around here. They aren't going to make it very long.
The last line that I should mention is that, given the big hubbub that always happens whenever some medical trial fall through in a bad way and people end up either sick or dead, is it really a good idea to drop out the only link we have between cell culture trials and human trials? Everyone I know who works with animals hates the part where we have to sacrifice the animals, but we do it because it's necessary. For instance, we really do need to know if the animal is getting sicker because a drug has managed to leak across the blood brain barrier into the brain when it's not supposed to, or if the animal's getting sicker just because it's old and old animals tend to develop all kinds of diseases (in mice it goes very similar to the way it goes in humans). And no, we can't wait until the animal's died. First of all, the fact that the animal is sick and we can't cure it (because we don't know what's wrong) means that by letting it live, we are prolonging it's agony. Second of all, diffusion (for a lack of a better word) occurs very rapidly within the body. Depending on the drug, the half life may only be an hour (prolonging half-life is a part of biomed research though), and for some of them, they will only go to certain parts of the body when they're at a critical dosage. The brain starts to decompose the moment the circulation stops. At thirty minutes it's reduced to mush (yeah my dissections are always fun) (yes I'm being sarcastic). There is no system where an animal is monitored 24/7 by people that would allow us to collect an animal the instant its heart stopped beating etc etc. And this is just to list a fairly simple example with very few difficulties.
Seriously, people.
20100410
Long post, or, hold on to your hats, m'dear
Remember back when I used to warn people about things before springing them on them? I know I do that considerably less nowadays, for a variety of reasons. Well, consider this your warning. This post will be long. It might make you uncomfortable / give you information you'd rather not know. You are advised to pause in your consumption of food and beverage at the risk of choking, etc.
Ready? (Okay, now my own level of anxiety has just gone from zero to sixty. Wonderful. Breathe. I can do this.)
So today I'm going to make a post about my sexual orientation, to put an end to the pondering and guessing and what-have-you for one thing, and because I want my friends, most of whom follow this on a semi-regular basis, to know.
That means that yes, I'm not really heterosexual. Strictly speaking I am asexual, though I am capable of having romantic feelings toward either gender. I have had a crush on a guy. I have had a crush on a girl. They are similar feelings and it is definitely a crush, and a very junior high girl sort of crush at that. It is, frankly, a little painful, a lot embarrassing, but also kind of fun. (It's really something to feel like your day has just improved, all because someone smiled at you.) (Yeah, I've said: crush. Believe me now?)
For those of you who have known me for a while this might not have been a surprise, given that I have asked at least some of you to explain to me, at one point or another, what a crush is, what constitutes a romantic relationship, and showed an appalling lack of comprehension at what "hot" and "sexy" really means when describing someone physically. (Pretty, beautiful and handsome I get: I have had art classes and am well familiar with the standards of beauty and how it's dependent on culture and society. "Sexy", though...do people really look at other random people and think about whether or not they'd have sex with that person?) For those of you who consider that I might just be a "late-bloomer" I'd like to acknowledge that yes, that is a possibility and I've considered it. I did reach puberty slightly later than the average girl. I did also have my first crush much later than the average girl. That is why I have waited two years to see if anything, in terms of my romantic interest and understanding towards others, would change at all. They didn't, and so, here I am.
This is, however, not the exactly two year anniversary of the day when I pieced all the clues together and thought "oh my God, you must be kidding me". Today is the day when I finally got the clean bill of health back from both the doctor (okay, a nurse practitioner; it's close) and the psychologist. I am considered normal in the professional opinion of both, which I find, against all logic, to be a sort of relief. I know sexual orientation variation is not a disease, though abnormal hormone &c can affect it. I have always believed that I am (give and take a few issues that I know about and am working on -- both doctors agree that I have excellent self-awareness) normal. Still, no one ever grows out of their insecurities, and I'm no exception. Sometimes, alone in the dark and pondering over the things that I've messed up that other people seem to do effortlessly, I do also have my moments of "what is wrong with me?". No matter back in the corner of my mind it is, it's good to be able to put that insidious fear to rest.
Which brings me now to my main point of concern: my parents. I plan to tell my parents. It's the right thing to do. They will have to know at some point (my mom simply because she is my mom) and now that I'm actually emotionally prepared to date, I am not going to be discriminating between the genders and so it seems only fair that they be prepared for that. I plan to tell them on my birthday, since they often try to be nicer to me on my birthdays. (Also, so I can have the time to find more information, such as pamphlets about sexual orientation our mother tongue so they can actually see it's not just their only child going mad. AND, in addition, to give myself enough time to get enough of the freaking-out out of my system so that I no longer feel like throwing up every time I imagine the scenario.) I'm not sure how it will turn out, since although they are decent people and my mom is much more open-minded than my dad, they, as a byproduct of how they are raised and what they have gone through, have a fairly traditional set of values. I am not going to get disowned. That doesn't mean that things won't get ugly. I don't know how long it will take them to come to terms with this or how comfortable they'll be able to be. I do know that traditional values, in their case, means that the first things they'll wonder is whether or not I'll should go see a doctor or a psychologist. That's the main reason why I went to see both, even braving my instinctive suspicion toward psychologists (my first time with one ever! Whee). I have started to make my opening moves. I don't dare hope for a checkmate. I don't WANT to checkmate if heavy casualty is needed to get there. I will play my game to the end though, and see this through.
In summary, the timeline went something like this:
1. Concern about sexual identity.
2. Research about sexual identity. (Go to this site if you're still curious about that asexual means. Reading the comments of the people there is one of the first things that cued me that I'm on the right track. I can identify with them.)
3. Concern about possibility of developmental delay, wait two years.
4. Confirmation of sexual identity.
5. Pondering dating. Decides that dating could be good.
6. Resolve to share information about this to friends and family.
7. Waffles, freak out, repeat.
8. Braces self and went to see doctor and psychologist.
9. Share with friends online.
I could've emailed, I suppose, but then I know I'd fret over who to tell and who not to tell &c and then I'd have to worry about the issue of obligation. Most people that I consider a friend has this url. My disclaimer is this: unlike email, if this is making you uncomfortable and want to pretend that you've never read this, I will honor your wishes and never bring up anything about this or whom I'm dating unless you bring it up. It's not hard. I'm a fairly reserved person by nature, as most of you know. I will post the next few days so this post gets snowed under and remove this post in a week from today. I don't keep track of who checks this blog or how often. If I emailed however, I do know who should've received the email. What's worse: you'd know I know. I feel like it might make you feel like you are obliged to respond. You aren't. I am providing the information. You are not obliged to deal with it if you don't want to.
I could've called, too, which would've raised the same concern as email. In addition, calling people up and going "Hey, guess what..." ? No. Just...no.
I do think most of you are going to be okay with this eventually though. A good portion of you are probably going "WTF" right now (I did warn you, choking hazard and everything), which I can totally sympathize with given that I went through my own WTF stage about two years ago. But I do know how lucky I am to have the friends that I do, and believe me when I tell you this:
This entire ordeal? Scary. All of it. There's a lot of self-incrimination, self-pity, and self-doubt at one point or another. I've lost sleep over it at some point in the beginning. I've freaked out. Cried. I gave myself a mild panic attack while waiting for the doctor and when the psychologist (after we figured out that the only help I really need from her is some advise on how to deal with my parents) asked me to imagine and describe the worst case scenario in coming out to my parents -- it would've been so easy to break down right then. (The scenario may be imagined but the pain is very real. My parents will always have the most power in hurting me and making me hurt myself, simply because they are my parents and I love them.) ...so whenever I imagine the scenario, as I've mentioned, the bottom drops out of my stomach. Last time I did that (yesterday), I couldn't finish my lunch. (I did end up drinking a lot of tea, though.)
However, I am typing this out now to let you guys know. I'm currently deeply anxious and feeling a little shaky, but I finished my dinner and had three of those little prune-plum hybrid things afterwards. My faith on this front is not something I would've expected, or had, back in high school. For that, no matter what the fall out in the next few months will be, I will always be grateful.
Oh and just so you know, despite of the fact that I am comfortable enough with this aspect of myself to write a post on the internet, I'm not at that point where I'm okay with people teasing me about it yet, however well meaning they may be. At a word, I'm twitchy. Partly because okay, I'm nervous, and partly because I've come to the realization within the past six month (well since I've started working full time in a lab, so I guess that's almost a year now) that I'm going to have to foray into the world of internet dating if I do want to date. This is based on the fact that I don't go to bars or go out like my classmates do in their little groups, and I'm not going to venture out by myself, after dark, and that I don't have the time to try anything else. The people I meet daily are...well...there're very good rules about dating people you have to work with, and most of the people I can be interested in are in a long-term relationship, anyway. (On the plus side, I'm much more adept at fending for myself online than in real life, and this way I'm planning to set up a systematic approach so that I can even be scientific and compare across dating sites and gender in terms of response and overall experience.) (I won't graph it though, I'm strange, but not that strange.)
How's that for mind-blowing? Hopefully I haven't made anyone's brain hemorrhage, or anything equally horrific. Again, I did warn you all, but if you're reading this then you've made it through this entire monster of a post. Thank you kindly for your time and attention. This took me hours. I am exhausted. I will try to sleep now.
fin
P.S. I'll take any questions now.
Ready? (Okay, now my own level of anxiety has just gone from zero to sixty. Wonderful. Breathe. I can do this.)
So today I'm going to make a post about my sexual orientation, to put an end to the pondering and guessing and what-have-you for one thing, and because I want my friends, most of whom follow this on a semi-regular basis, to know.
That means that yes, I'm not really heterosexual. Strictly speaking I am asexual, though I am capable of having romantic feelings toward either gender. I have had a crush on a guy. I have had a crush on a girl. They are similar feelings and it is definitely a crush, and a very junior high girl sort of crush at that. It is, frankly, a little painful, a lot embarrassing, but also kind of fun. (It's really something to feel like your day has just improved, all because someone smiled at you.) (Yeah, I've said: crush. Believe me now?)
For those of you who have known me for a while this might not have been a surprise, given that I have asked at least some of you to explain to me, at one point or another, what a crush is, what constitutes a romantic relationship, and showed an appalling lack of comprehension at what "hot" and "sexy" really means when describing someone physically. (Pretty, beautiful and handsome I get: I have had art classes and am well familiar with the standards of beauty and how it's dependent on culture and society. "Sexy", though...do people really look at other random people and think about whether or not they'd have sex with that person?) For those of you who consider that I might just be a "late-bloomer" I'd like to acknowledge that yes, that is a possibility and I've considered it. I did reach puberty slightly later than the average girl. I did also have my first crush much later than the average girl. That is why I have waited two years to see if anything, in terms of my romantic interest and understanding towards others, would change at all. They didn't, and so, here I am.
This is, however, not the exactly two year anniversary of the day when I pieced all the clues together and thought "oh my God, you must be kidding me". Today is the day when I finally got the clean bill of health back from both the doctor (okay, a nurse practitioner; it's close) and the psychologist. I am considered normal in the professional opinion of both, which I find, against all logic, to be a sort of relief. I know sexual orientation variation is not a disease, though abnormal hormone &c can affect it. I have always believed that I am (give and take a few issues that I know about and am working on -- both doctors agree that I have excellent self-awareness) normal. Still, no one ever grows out of their insecurities, and I'm no exception. Sometimes, alone in the dark and pondering over the things that I've messed up that other people seem to do effortlessly, I do also have my moments of "what is wrong with me?". No matter back in the corner of my mind it is, it's good to be able to put that insidious fear to rest.
Which brings me now to my main point of concern: my parents. I plan to tell my parents. It's the right thing to do. They will have to know at some point (my mom simply because she is my mom) and now that I'm actually emotionally prepared to date, I am not going to be discriminating between the genders and so it seems only fair that they be prepared for that. I plan to tell them on my birthday, since they often try to be nicer to me on my birthdays. (Also, so I can have the time to find more information, such as pamphlets about sexual orientation our mother tongue so they can actually see it's not just their only child going mad. AND, in addition, to give myself enough time to get enough of the freaking-out out of my system so that I no longer feel like throwing up every time I imagine the scenario.) I'm not sure how it will turn out, since although they are decent people and my mom is much more open-minded than my dad, they, as a byproduct of how they are raised and what they have gone through, have a fairly traditional set of values. I am not going to get disowned. That doesn't mean that things won't get ugly. I don't know how long it will take them to come to terms with this or how comfortable they'll be able to be. I do know that traditional values, in their case, means that the first things they'll wonder is whether or not I'll should go see a doctor or a psychologist. That's the main reason why I went to see both, even braving my instinctive suspicion toward psychologists (my first time with one ever! Whee). I have started to make my opening moves. I don't dare hope for a checkmate. I don't WANT to checkmate if heavy casualty is needed to get there. I will play my game to the end though, and see this through.
In summary, the timeline went something like this:
1. Concern about sexual identity.
2. Research about sexual identity. (Go to this site if you're still curious about that asexual means. Reading the comments of the people there is one of the first things that cued me that I'm on the right track. I can identify with them.)
3. Concern about possibility of developmental delay, wait two years.
4. Confirmation of sexual identity.
5. Pondering dating. Decides that dating could be good.
6. Resolve to share information about this to friends and family.
7. Waffles, freak out, repeat.
8. Braces self and went to see doctor and psychologist.
9. Share with friends online.
I could've emailed, I suppose, but then I know I'd fret over who to tell and who not to tell &c and then I'd have to worry about the issue of obligation. Most people that I consider a friend has this url. My disclaimer is this: unlike email, if this is making you uncomfortable and want to pretend that you've never read this, I will honor your wishes and never bring up anything about this or whom I'm dating unless you bring it up. It's not hard. I'm a fairly reserved person by nature, as most of you know. I will post the next few days so this post gets snowed under and remove this post in a week from today. I don't keep track of who checks this blog or how often. If I emailed however, I do know who should've received the email. What's worse: you'd know I know. I feel like it might make you feel like you are obliged to respond. You aren't. I am providing the information. You are not obliged to deal with it if you don't want to.
I could've called, too, which would've raised the same concern as email. In addition, calling people up and going "Hey, guess what..." ? No. Just...no.
I do think most of you are going to be okay with this eventually though. A good portion of you are probably going "WTF" right now (I did warn you, choking hazard and everything), which I can totally sympathize with given that I went through my own WTF stage about two years ago. But I do know how lucky I am to have the friends that I do, and believe me when I tell you this:
This entire ordeal? Scary. All of it. There's a lot of self-incrimination, self-pity, and self-doubt at one point or another. I've lost sleep over it at some point in the beginning. I've freaked out. Cried. I gave myself a mild panic attack while waiting for the doctor and when the psychologist (after we figured out that the only help I really need from her is some advise on how to deal with my parents) asked me to imagine and describe the worst case scenario in coming out to my parents -- it would've been so easy to break down right then. (The scenario may be imagined but the pain is very real. My parents will always have the most power in hurting me and making me hurt myself, simply because they are my parents and I love them.) ...so whenever I imagine the scenario, as I've mentioned, the bottom drops out of my stomach. Last time I did that (yesterday), I couldn't finish my lunch. (I did end up drinking a lot of tea, though.)
However, I am typing this out now to let you guys know. I'm currently deeply anxious and feeling a little shaky, but I finished my dinner and had three of those little prune-plum hybrid things afterwards. My faith on this front is not something I would've expected, or had, back in high school. For that, no matter what the fall out in the next few months will be, I will always be grateful.
Oh and just so you know, despite of the fact that I am comfortable enough with this aspect of myself to write a post on the internet, I'm not at that point where I'm okay with people teasing me about it yet, however well meaning they may be. At a word, I'm twitchy. Partly because okay, I'm nervous, and partly because I've come to the realization within the past six month (well since I've started working full time in a lab, so I guess that's almost a year now) that I'm going to have to foray into the world of internet dating if I do want to date. This is based on the fact that I don't go to bars or go out like my classmates do in their little groups, and I'm not going to venture out by myself, after dark, and that I don't have the time to try anything else. The people I meet daily are...well...there're very good rules about dating people you have to work with, and most of the people I can be interested in are in a long-term relationship, anyway. (On the plus side, I'm much more adept at fending for myself online than in real life, and this way I'm planning to set up a systematic approach so that I can even be scientific and compare across dating sites and gender in terms of response and overall experience.) (I won't graph it though, I'm strange, but not that strange.)
How's that for mind-blowing? Hopefully I haven't made anyone's brain hemorrhage, or anything equally horrific. Again, I did warn you all, but if you're reading this then you've made it through this entire monster of a post. Thank you kindly for your time and attention. This took me hours. I am exhausted. I will try to sleep now.
fin
P.S. I'll take any questions now.
20100222
Whoa baby whaaa?
I found a lot of interesting things today and my mind was reeling to the point where I accidentally dumped a container of CDs on my head of all things, while in lab, before giving myself a paper cut that is currently making it hard for me to type. (Then again, it wouldn't be the first time I bled all over my keyboard. It's less damaging, at least, than getting coke all over the keyboard.)
On rare occasions I feel brilliant. Most of the days I still feel like an idiot.
I should start with the worry hovering over the entire lab all of last week: Wendy's fine! Actually she came in today and did two hours of mouse work in the vivarium. I spent some time explaining that most people in her condition would be home, resting. She pointed out that since her baby (boy, born late last Wednesday) has to stay in the hospital for a few months, she doesn't have to take her maternity leave until the baby comes home and so in the mean while she can try to get all her stuff down so she can graduate. I explained that people usually go from hospital rest to home rest before going to work. She pointed out that since the baby's early she recovered fairly quickly, that there's nothing she can do at home except sleep (which, isn't that the point of rest?), and that she has mouse embryos to dissect tomorrow, and genotyping to do. I...just.... Well, at least she seems fine, despite of the massive amount of bruising on her arm from the IV (she has small veins; I can sympathize). She showed me the tag they put on her. Apparently baby-stealing is a common enough problem that they tag the parent and tag the baby right after birth and if you take the baby outside of the door it'll beep -- the door, not the baby. Like an errant library book or, as Wendy pointed out, a shirt from the store.
I had an odd mental image of babies with barcodes stamped on them. (Why not? I've been tagged with something that DID have a barcode on it before.)
So right. Next up is something that I found out about the recruitment process of grad school! Our recruitment weekend ended Saturday evening, everyone flew out at different times Sunday (or really late Saturday night). Around late Sunday I got an email (which I didn't read until this morning) asking me to a) give some feedback on the weekend and what can be changed for the better, in terms of organization &c. and b) review / rate my recruit.
I felt very twitchy the entire time I was filling out the form, and not just because the name of my recruit happened to be "Anna". I was asked to rank the acceptance (from high priority to low priority to don't accept), as well as to describe the strength and weaknesses of the recruit (e.g. communication skills, interest in research &c.) along with anything exceptional (and I have no idea what's considered exceptional). Somehow I suspect all the PIs that had interviews are also asked to fill out these forms (which makes me wonder how they can fill it out, considering that most of them didn't give us the time to talk during interviews at all) ("quiet", "relatively quiet", "managed to squeeze in one question", "fell asleep"?). Right after this, we were asked to send a nice email to our recruits (after all, we are trying to "recruit" them) to conclude this entire thing. On one hand I'm pretty sure my classmates and I will not be putting anyone in the "don't accept" category (unless you really are psycho and talking to you has made us fear for our lives -- in that case we don't want you in SD, we want you as far away as possible). On the other hand, I do feel that since the job of the hosts are to take the recruits out, talk to them, and show them around in a nice, relaxed atmosphere, is it really fair to rate this interaction as one would an interview?
This bothers me.
Thirdly. The collaborator that I've just spent a month and a half waiting for and committing academic stalking via email for (yeah the one who never answers his email or if he does, never includes the information I need, such as his protocol index) gave me all the information I needed today, in under two minutes, because I got so fed up that I went and called him instead of sending him increasingly more frantic emails. He was very nice over the phone and even gave me his cell phone number (I called his lab, figuring that someone there must know where he is, and he picked up) in case I need to reach him again. And then the rest of the paperwork for animal transfer was submitted in under fifteen minutes, approved right after lunch, and ready to go by five pm.
I waited a month and a half for this.
People are truly complex and so very, very, annoying.
Though now this means I might have more behavioral data in a few months, finally, and that's kind of exciting.
I had "The War of 1812" by the Arrogant Worms stuck in my head today, for no apparently reason. It was a little disconcerting to keep catching myself singing the chorus part under my breath while I was cutting my cryostat sections (how is it that I use three different types of razors, two types of tweezers, and three types of surgical scissors regularly, and still manage to injure myself with a sheet of paper, by the way?). Considering the lyrics, I wonder if someone might mistake me for a terrorist at some point and try to report me. Well, if I suddenly disappear off of the face of the earth you guys will know what happened.
On rare occasions I feel brilliant. Most of the days I still feel like an idiot.
I should start with the worry hovering over the entire lab all of last week: Wendy's fine! Actually she came in today and did two hours of mouse work in the vivarium. I spent some time explaining that most people in her condition would be home, resting. She pointed out that since her baby (boy, born late last Wednesday) has to stay in the hospital for a few months, she doesn't have to take her maternity leave until the baby comes home and so in the mean while she can try to get all her stuff down so she can graduate. I explained that people usually go from hospital rest to home rest before going to work. She pointed out that since the baby's early she recovered fairly quickly, that there's nothing she can do at home except sleep (which, isn't that the point of rest?), and that she has mouse embryos to dissect tomorrow, and genotyping to do. I...just.... Well, at least she seems fine, despite of the massive amount of bruising on her arm from the IV (she has small veins; I can sympathize). She showed me the tag they put on her. Apparently baby-stealing is a common enough problem that they tag the parent and tag the baby right after birth and if you take the baby outside of the door it'll beep -- the door, not the baby. Like an errant library book or, as Wendy pointed out, a shirt from the store.
I had an odd mental image of babies with barcodes stamped on them. (Why not? I've been tagged with something that DID have a barcode on it before.)
So right. Next up is something that I found out about the recruitment process of grad school! Our recruitment weekend ended Saturday evening, everyone flew out at different times Sunday (or really late Saturday night). Around late Sunday I got an email (which I didn't read until this morning) asking me to a) give some feedback on the weekend and what can be changed for the better, in terms of organization &c. and b) review / rate my recruit.
I felt very twitchy the entire time I was filling out the form, and not just because the name of my recruit happened to be "Anna". I was asked to rank the acceptance (from high priority to low priority to don't accept), as well as to describe the strength and weaknesses of the recruit (e.g. communication skills, interest in research &c.) along with anything exceptional (and I have no idea what's considered exceptional). Somehow I suspect all the PIs that had interviews are also asked to fill out these forms (which makes me wonder how they can fill it out, considering that most of them didn't give us the time to talk during interviews at all) ("quiet", "relatively quiet", "managed to squeeze in one question", "fell asleep"?). Right after this, we were asked to send a nice email to our recruits (after all, we are trying to "recruit" them) to conclude this entire thing. On one hand I'm pretty sure my classmates and I will not be putting anyone in the "don't accept" category (unless you really are psycho and talking to you has made us fear for our lives -- in that case we don't want you in SD, we want you as far away as possible). On the other hand, I do feel that since the job of the hosts are to take the recruits out, talk to them, and show them around in a nice, relaxed atmosphere, is it really fair to rate this interaction as one would an interview?
This bothers me.
Thirdly. The collaborator that I've just spent a month and a half waiting for and committing academic stalking via email for (yeah the one who never answers his email or if he does, never includes the information I need, such as his protocol index) gave me all the information I needed today, in under two minutes, because I got so fed up that I went and called him instead of sending him increasingly more frantic emails. He was very nice over the phone and even gave me his cell phone number (I called his lab, figuring that someone there must know where he is, and he picked up) in case I need to reach him again. And then the rest of the paperwork for animal transfer was submitted in under fifteen minutes, approved right after lunch, and ready to go by five pm.
I waited a month and a half for this.
People are truly complex and so very, very, annoying.
Though now this means I might have more behavioral data in a few months, finally, and that's kind of exciting.
I had "The War of 1812" by the Arrogant Worms stuck in my head today, for no apparently reason. It was a little disconcerting to keep catching myself singing the chorus part under my breath while I was cutting my cryostat sections (how is it that I use three different types of razors, two types of tweezers, and three types of surgical scissors regularly, and still manage to injure myself with a sheet of paper, by the way?). Considering the lyrics, I wonder if someone might mistake me for a terrorist at some point and try to report me. Well, if I suddenly disappear off of the face of the earth you guys will know what happened.
20100206
Don't make the apocalypse in a test tube, kids
Dude. Dude. I cannot believe that the word "biohacker" is currently being used. It is oddly applicable and all the more scary for it.
Before I denounce all and sundry I should point out that I am, in principle, not against the biohackers. I can see where they are coming from. The fact that you practically need a PhD and massive amounts of funding (millions of dollars, and I have no idea what the current ROR grant award rate is, so don't even ask)to do any kind of research in biology does bother me. I am all for a cheaper way of doing things and the fact that you can buy the same blender (Warring) from your local store that would costs something like ten times more to buy from a biology research tool&appliances catalogue is utterly ridiculous. It is a blender. It chops things. It's even made by the same company and has no differences in settings and motor voltage so why, people? Why?
(Our lab's microwave that we use for experiments probably comes from Fry's or something. It's cheaper.)
That's not even taken into account the PhD thing. Do you really need a doctorate in your field in order to do good science? Clearly not. Plenty of important discoveries were made by people who have never worked in a field that their knowledge contributed to. Dendrochronology is an example of someone contributing from a different field of science altogether. Lorenzo's Oil and, slightly less so, Something the Lord Made are both good stories (in movie format, even!) about people who are not PhDs who have made significant contribution. Having all that scientific knowledge wrapped up and kept under seal, away from the public, is in fact dangerous. It is the public, after all, who makes the decisions about policies. It is the public's voice, the collective "We" (no dystopia jokes please) whose voice is heard. Therefore isn't a little scary to think that about a third of America still doesn't believe in evolution? Uninformed public is dangerous, but what is more dangerous is a public that has been misinformed. In an age of internet and too much information, both accurate and inaccurate, floating around, is it really a good idea to keep what has been scientifically proven restricted to journals that only scientists would probably ever pay to subscribe to? I have somewhat more faith in humanity than Hobbes, but even so, considering what we are capable of doing right now in the field of biology, I think the imbalance of flow of information is getting to be too great. Something's gotta give. (Greener Than You Think is a satirical account of what could, in theory, happen when the scientific knowledge, for whatever reason, just failed to make it across to people -- a salesman in this case. I always wondered if it might've gone better of the biologist in that story managed to appeal to the salesman better and explained why he had to do things a certain way.)
(Which reminds me to mention again how wonderful PLoS is. Really. I love it. If I had more time I'd read more articles from it besides the ones the PI keeps on forwarding to me.)
Now my issue with biohackers (aha, you say, here it comes, but hear me out) is this. As with the original use of the word hackers in the field of computational sciences, the general public tends to lump the word "hacker" and "cracker" together when the two groups of people are in totally different camps. Similarly, with the ease of ordering and shipping (we get our DNAs Fedex'ed, I think people's worked out how to ship all kinds of things via Fedex now) I worry about the possibility of "biocrackers". I feel like I should remind people that unlike comp sci stuff, bio sci things can literally grow and multiply and take over the world. Anyone who's paid any attention at all to news must know of the possible issues people have with antibiotic resistance in bacteria, GMO, as well as the use of animal in research. All these issues arise from a time when the biologists can pretty much just do whatever they wanted, without having to go through protocol approval and acquisition paperwork. (The original discovery of allergy shots? The MD just went out there and injected volunteers. No prior testing on animals or approval of procedure by an elected committee.) Although these have resulted in a lot of awesome discoveries, they also lead to a lot of abuse and environmental dangers in the future. Who could've predicted the frequency that bacteria swap DNA with? The rapid rate that antibiotic resistance can be passed through all different strains? Who could've predicted that increasing yield in crops can also lead to out breeding and "superweeds?". Or those issues with pesticide? For all that I will grumble and complain about the song and dance we have to go through to get anything new done, I also agree that, to an extend, those procedures are necessary. Therefore, your local backyard biohacker, who does not have a protocol approved by a committee who will ask in detail about what happens in case of cross contamination, spills, and a plethora of possibly dangerous things that can go wrong, can in fact get into some serious trouble, not only for the biohacker but for everyone.
There is only one planet earth, people. (Maybe if I repeat this enough time some of the more recalcitrant folks out there will finally realize that their net income each year matters slightly less than the end of the world?)
So my issue is this: not the hacking, nor the backyard, but the fact that we have no way of knowing whether or not the hackers have had any training at all in dealing with research biology. Whether or not, for instance, they know the differences between biohazards level 0 to 3 and that you can't pour biological waste down the drain or into the trash -- there are rules with 10% bleach and 70% ethanol (now a controlled substance that we have to get our PI to sign in order to buy -- sometimes the safety committee can get overly zealous, yes), depending on what you've used, that apply. We don't know whether or not these hackers know that when you mix certain reagents, a small percentage of it can get aerosolized so the area that you work has to be contained -- all our labs have constant air filtering and are at a negative pressure so whenever we open the door, air is sucked into the lab, never out. We don't know even if these hackers know the basic protocols of what to do in case they spill acid or base and let's face it, theory is very different from reality. Back when I did my safety training the people used to tell stories of this poor guy from physics, who'd never done any lab work, and how he spilled acid on himself and how he then poured base on himself to try to neutralize it on his skin. (For the record, people: do not do that; go stand the affected area under the DI water immediately for 15 minutes instead, that way you might actually avoid third degree chemical burn.) What we need, in addition to possible background checks to make sure the person is a hacker and not a cracker, is this: some sort of system (I suspect it will have to be volunteer based because I cannot foresee a lot of the university committee people voluntarily going out to do this) to make sure that everyone can attend a standard safety training session the first time they order stuff to do biological research. It'll be fairly simple, containing information that can probably fit onto a small packet, but it will have to be a training session because people are more likely to pay some attention that way than if they were handed a packet that easily fits into a recycling bin. You don't need to be a professor to give that kind of training sessions -- anyone who's had any sort of lab experience at all can do it. They can get the packet. Or the powerpoint. Whatever. It will have to contain information such as what to do if you spill things on something / someone and why you must make sure you don't carry whatever critters you've made on your bench with you when you leave and accidentally unleash the apocalypse upon the world.
I'm exaggerating a little, of course. Organisms are surprisingly resilient. Even a doomsday scenario like the one in Oryx and Crake a few humans still made it through, and that was for something that's targeted against humans. So in reality a doomsday scenario will probably only result in decimation of humanity and lots of general difficulties such as lack of clean food, water, and hazmat suits.
So the second half of my title for today's entry is, in reality, "...but if you must, makes sure the tube is capped and you know what to do with it afterwards."
End rant.
Yeah, can you tell this has bothering me a lot since yesterday?
Before I denounce all and sundry I should point out that I am, in principle, not against the biohackers. I can see where they are coming from. The fact that you practically need a PhD and massive amounts of funding (millions of dollars, and I have no idea what the current ROR grant award rate is, so don't even ask)to do any kind of research in biology does bother me. I am all for a cheaper way of doing things and the fact that you can buy the same blender (Warring) from your local store that would costs something like ten times more to buy from a biology research tool&appliances catalogue is utterly ridiculous. It is a blender. It chops things. It's even made by the same company and has no differences in settings and motor voltage so why, people? Why?
(Our lab's microwave that we use for experiments probably comes from Fry's or something. It's cheaper.)
That's not even taken into account the PhD thing. Do you really need a doctorate in your field in order to do good science? Clearly not. Plenty of important discoveries were made by people who have never worked in a field that their knowledge contributed to. Dendrochronology is an example of someone contributing from a different field of science altogether. Lorenzo's Oil and, slightly less so, Something the Lord Made are both good stories (in movie format, even!) about people who are not PhDs who have made significant contribution. Having all that scientific knowledge wrapped up and kept under seal, away from the public, is in fact dangerous. It is the public, after all, who makes the decisions about policies. It is the public's voice, the collective "We" (no dystopia jokes please) whose voice is heard. Therefore isn't a little scary to think that about a third of America still doesn't believe in evolution? Uninformed public is dangerous, but what is more dangerous is a public that has been misinformed. In an age of internet and too much information, both accurate and inaccurate, floating around, is it really a good idea to keep what has been scientifically proven restricted to journals that only scientists would probably ever pay to subscribe to? I have somewhat more faith in humanity than Hobbes, but even so, considering what we are capable of doing right now in the field of biology, I think the imbalance of flow of information is getting to be too great. Something's gotta give. (Greener Than You Think is a satirical account of what could, in theory, happen when the scientific knowledge, for whatever reason, just failed to make it across to people -- a salesman in this case. I always wondered if it might've gone better of the biologist in that story managed to appeal to the salesman better and explained why he had to do things a certain way.)
(Which reminds me to mention again how wonderful PLoS is. Really. I love it. If I had more time I'd read more articles from it besides the ones the PI keeps on forwarding to me.)
Now my issue with biohackers (aha, you say, here it comes, but hear me out) is this. As with the original use of the word hackers in the field of computational sciences, the general public tends to lump the word "hacker" and "cracker" together when the two groups of people are in totally different camps. Similarly, with the ease of ordering and shipping (we get our DNAs Fedex'ed, I think people's worked out how to ship all kinds of things via Fedex now) I worry about the possibility of "biocrackers". I feel like I should remind people that unlike comp sci stuff, bio sci things can literally grow and multiply and take over the world. Anyone who's paid any attention at all to news must know of the possible issues people have with antibiotic resistance in bacteria, GMO, as well as the use of animal in research. All these issues arise from a time when the biologists can pretty much just do whatever they wanted, without having to go through protocol approval and acquisition paperwork. (The original discovery of allergy shots? The MD just went out there and injected volunteers. No prior testing on animals or approval of procedure by an elected committee.) Although these have resulted in a lot of awesome discoveries, they also lead to a lot of abuse and environmental dangers in the future. Who could've predicted the frequency that bacteria swap DNA with? The rapid rate that antibiotic resistance can be passed through all different strains? Who could've predicted that increasing yield in crops can also lead to out breeding and "superweeds?". Or those issues with pesticide? For all that I will grumble and complain about the song and dance we have to go through to get anything new done, I also agree that, to an extend, those procedures are necessary. Therefore, your local backyard biohacker, who does not have a protocol approved by a committee who will ask in detail about what happens in case of cross contamination, spills, and a plethora of possibly dangerous things that can go wrong, can in fact get into some serious trouble, not only for the biohacker but for everyone.
There is only one planet earth, people. (Maybe if I repeat this enough time some of the more recalcitrant folks out there will finally realize that their net income each year matters slightly less than the end of the world?)
So my issue is this: not the hacking, nor the backyard, but the fact that we have no way of knowing whether or not the hackers have had any training at all in dealing with research biology. Whether or not, for instance, they know the differences between biohazards level 0 to 3 and that you can't pour biological waste down the drain or into the trash -- there are rules with 10% bleach and 70% ethanol (now a controlled substance that we have to get our PI to sign in order to buy -- sometimes the safety committee can get overly zealous, yes), depending on what you've used, that apply. We don't know whether or not these hackers know that when you mix certain reagents, a small percentage of it can get aerosolized so the area that you work has to be contained -- all our labs have constant air filtering and are at a negative pressure so whenever we open the door, air is sucked into the lab, never out. We don't know even if these hackers know the basic protocols of what to do in case they spill acid or base and let's face it, theory is very different from reality. Back when I did my safety training the people used to tell stories of this poor guy from physics, who'd never done any lab work, and how he spilled acid on himself and how he then poured base on himself to try to neutralize it on his skin. (For the record, people: do not do that; go stand the affected area under the DI water immediately for 15 minutes instead, that way you might actually avoid third degree chemical burn.) What we need, in addition to possible background checks to make sure the person is a hacker and not a cracker, is this: some sort of system (I suspect it will have to be volunteer based because I cannot foresee a lot of the university committee people voluntarily going out to do this) to make sure that everyone can attend a standard safety training session the first time they order stuff to do biological research. It'll be fairly simple, containing information that can probably fit onto a small packet, but it will have to be a training session because people are more likely to pay some attention that way than if they were handed a packet that easily fits into a recycling bin. You don't need to be a professor to give that kind of training sessions -- anyone who's had any sort of lab experience at all can do it. They can get the packet. Or the powerpoint. Whatever. It will have to contain information such as what to do if you spill things on something / someone and why you must make sure you don't carry whatever critters you've made on your bench with you when you leave and accidentally unleash the apocalypse upon the world.
I'm exaggerating a little, of course. Organisms are surprisingly resilient. Even a doomsday scenario like the one in Oryx and Crake a few humans still made it through, and that was for something that's targeted against humans. So in reality a doomsday scenario will probably only result in decimation of humanity and lots of general difficulties such as lack of clean food, water, and hazmat suits.
So the second half of my title for today's entry is, in reality, "...but if you must, makes sure the tube is capped and you know what to do with it afterwards."
End rant.
Yeah, can you tell this has bothering me a lot since yesterday?
20091031
This is apparently how it works
Wendy told me the other day that "if you haven't gone insane yet, you haven't been in grad school long enough". After the general up-spike in panic the past few days (how is it that the PIs managed to do that, long after I'm convinced that I just don't have the energy to panic anymore, I'll never know) I'm beginning to gain a new appreciation of that sentiment.
On that cheering note, my defense's next Tuesday. It was scheduled for next Tuesday (confirmation of rooms and everything) by Wednesday, because due to the schedule of the professors and the rooms (which we do need to schedule ahead of time) the only weeks that are available are either next week or, it seems, the last week before Thanksgiving (which is also my deadline for this). Then of course it's juggling the times until the PIs said, okay, this time will work. (In between all this I've gone through my slides twice already and found a photo where people are monitoring the circadian rhythm of lobsters, of all things, by putting a wheel in their aquarium that's hooked up to the computer and seeing when they'd run. On wheels. The photo was titled "Lobster In Wheel". ) Then yesterday one of my PIs emailed me and said that she had an eye appointment at the time of my defense, and could I reschedule, please. Of course, the person who is in charge of scheduling the meeting room for my building was gone for the day, so I ended up frantically looking up room schedules for other school of med buildings and discovering that, within the next few weeks, there is apparently only one hour when all the PIs will have time for me. (The qual is designed to be 90 minutes long, with 40 minutes for my presentation and 50 minutes for questioning afterwards.)
At which point I might have said, "Oh my God" and banged my head against my desk a few times. My labmates seemed concerned.
But the problem (sort of) resolved itself. One of the PIs is still going to leave early, but the other two will make it. (Or at least, after I scheduled the new room I sent out an email which said "IF YOU CAN'T MAKE IT, LET ME KNOW ASAP!" and no one has replied yet.) It is still on Tuesday. I still need to figure out what food to get for the PIs. ("Cookies," suggested Wendy, "And bottled water. Because even if they don't like water, if they're thirsty enough, they'll still drink it!") In between all this I need to figure out how to explain the math model behind my comp bio stuff (yep, I ended up doing that for my third aim, after all) without confusing the people even more. My PI is of the opinion that I should put in the math equation so at least even if the other PIs are still confused, they can at least see that I know what I'm talking about. I'm of the opinion that as soon as I say "For the function, rho, of X and Y at residue position i" their eyes will glaze over. But that may be my inherent cynicism speaking. (Or possibly what I know from my time explaining my written qual to my committee, but I'm trying hard not to think about that right now. A healthy dose of denial seems to be how most of my upperclassmen handled it, after all.)
(I seem to spend a lot of time lately thinking "this, too, shall pass". Did you know that in order to schedule a meeting with the thesis committee, which contains more people than the qual committee, my upperclassmen have to start the scheduling process two months ahead of time?)
Thank you, everyone, for your comments. I will probably take up the offers (practice is good; practice is always good), though it'll be a little sad since the movie of my mice will only play in the slides if it's .odt. (The original movie file is .mov and it converted weird, but since it's a mac thing I guess Kate, at least, should still be able to see my twitchy mice if I mail it as a separate file.)
Christ, it's Saturday. I need to find the time to wash my car sometime this weekend. The amount of dirt on it is approaching critical mass. Or at least, approaching the level where I might consider starting a roof-top garden.
Cheers guys. Happy Halloween. Eat some candy for me. Or something.
On that cheering note, my defense's next Tuesday. It was scheduled for next Tuesday (confirmation of rooms and everything) by Wednesday, because due to the schedule of the professors and the rooms (which we do need to schedule ahead of time) the only weeks that are available are either next week or, it seems, the last week before Thanksgiving (which is also my deadline for this). Then of course it's juggling the times until the PIs said, okay, this time will work. (In between all this I've gone through my slides twice already and found a photo where people are monitoring the circadian rhythm of lobsters, of all things, by putting a wheel in their aquarium that's hooked up to the computer and seeing when they'd run. On wheels. The photo was titled "Lobster In Wheel". ) Then yesterday one of my PIs emailed me and said that she had an eye appointment at the time of my defense, and could I reschedule, please. Of course, the person who is in charge of scheduling the meeting room for my building was gone for the day, so I ended up frantically looking up room schedules for other school of med buildings and discovering that, within the next few weeks, there is apparently only one hour when all the PIs will have time for me. (The qual is designed to be 90 minutes long, with 40 minutes for my presentation and 50 minutes for questioning afterwards.)
At which point I might have said, "Oh my God" and banged my head against my desk a few times. My labmates seemed concerned.
But the problem (sort of) resolved itself. One of the PIs is still going to leave early, but the other two will make it. (Or at least, after I scheduled the new room I sent out an email which said "IF YOU CAN'T MAKE IT, LET ME KNOW ASAP!" and no one has replied yet.) It is still on Tuesday. I still need to figure out what food to get for the PIs. ("Cookies," suggested Wendy, "And bottled water. Because even if they don't like water, if they're thirsty enough, they'll still drink it!") In between all this I need to figure out how to explain the math model behind my comp bio stuff (yep, I ended up doing that for my third aim, after all) without confusing the people even more. My PI is of the opinion that I should put in the math equation so at least even if the other PIs are still confused, they can at least see that I know what I'm talking about. I'm of the opinion that as soon as I say "For the function, rho, of X and Y at residue position i" their eyes will glaze over. But that may be my inherent cynicism speaking. (Or possibly what I know from my time explaining my written qual to my committee, but I'm trying hard not to think about that right now. A healthy dose of denial seems to be how most of my upperclassmen handled it, after all.)
(I seem to spend a lot of time lately thinking "this, too, shall pass". Did you know that in order to schedule a meeting with the thesis committee, which contains more people than the qual committee, my upperclassmen have to start the scheduling process two months ahead of time?)
Thank you, everyone, for your comments. I will probably take up the offers (practice is good; practice is always good), though it'll be a little sad since the movie of my mice will only play in the slides if it's .odt. (The original movie file is .mov and it converted weird, but since it's a mac thing I guess Kate, at least, should still be able to see my twitchy mice if I mail it as a separate file.)
Christ, it's Saturday. I need to find the time to wash my car sometime this weekend. The amount of dirt on it is approaching critical mass. Or at least, approaching the level where I might consider starting a roof-top garden.
Cheers guys. Happy Halloween. Eat some candy for me. Or something.
20090919
I make lists in my sleep
A couple labmates and I went out for lunch yesterday. It was surprisingly fun and even funnier when I wonder what the PI must be thinking when the group of us went trooping by him without so much as a by-your-leave. In our defense, it was lunch time and we are allowed to take time for lunch.
The place at Price Center does a very good tikka masala chicken. Wendy thought the bright color of the sauce (it was...red orange) was frightening. I thought it was funny that she didn't like peas.
(They are peas. Don't most people get pickier with things such as broccoli or brussel sprouts that have a strong, distinct taste?)
Even the entire cup of pearl tea that I drank wasn't enough to keep me awake, however, when I was updating my lab notebook. There were a lot of gel images and protocols to put in. Kate got me one of those fountain pens that have single-use tubes of ink I can just stick in, so I won't have to wrestle with a ink bottle and possibly get ink everywhere. I've gone through two tubes of ink already since May. That is, no matter how you look at it, a lot of writing. I hope my in situs work at some point, so at least I'll have something to show for all that scribbling besides the scribbling. (Mmm fluorescent images.)
There was a bonfire-bonding event for international students yesterday, so that the bus I usually took was overfull and a third of the students, along with me, had to wait for the next bus. Naturally they only left one guide with the entire group, and naturally the third left was left without a guide. The poor kids were without a clue where La Jolla Shores beach was. I couldn't tell them either because the beach was an entire stretch, and I have no idea which part of it they were aiming for (also the guide was horrible at giving directions, so this entire thing was like witnessing a train wreck). Naturally the group ended up getting off at the wrong stop, thanks to a combination of the bad directions from the guide, bad directions from an over-enthusiastic, well-meaning man on the bus who was trying to help, and the general chaos created when a group of students who just arrived in SD who do not speak English very well needed to navigate the public transit. There was nothing I could do to help because for the same reasons mentioned above, I couldn't figure out where they were going, either. It was only three stops after all the students got off, when I saw the sign for the bonfire stuck to the bushes next to the bus stop, did I realize that oh, okay, here was where the bonfire was supposed to be.
At least a slightly smarter girl had recorded the phone number of their guide, and they were, technically, still on La Jolla Shores beach (somewhat further north than they'd want to be, but technically the same beach). I want to help them so much, but given the entire mess, there was no hope for it.
It's an orientation process of sorts, I suppose. Welcome to the US, guys.
...
I've already considered the neighbors option for Zen. Unfortunately, unless I want to ask Deborah, for downstairs, to sit in my apartment all day, from 7am to 8pm, waiting for the package, it'll just involve more paperwork trying to explain that yes, I know the nice lady is from apartment 3, not 5, and that the address on the box says 5, not 3, but I gave her permission so stop leaving nice but useless little notes on my door already.
All my other options at this point involve contacting HP again (because changing the receiving address apparently needs to go back HP, not Fedex) and more paperwork. Given my general experience with paperwork and bureaucracy in general...I'll just figure something out on my own. It seems less painful for everyone involved.
...
Qual: am trying to fit everything in 6 pages. Am failing. Will probably end up cutting out a bunch of stuff at some point so my total page count will fall under 15. (Who the heck counts work cited page toward total page count, anyway?)
...
I have chocolate. I am prepared.
The place at Price Center does a very good tikka masala chicken. Wendy thought the bright color of the sauce (it was...red orange) was frightening. I thought it was funny that she didn't like peas.
(They are peas. Don't most people get pickier with things such as broccoli or brussel sprouts that have a strong, distinct taste?)
Even the entire cup of pearl tea that I drank wasn't enough to keep me awake, however, when I was updating my lab notebook. There were a lot of gel images and protocols to put in. Kate got me one of those fountain pens that have single-use tubes of ink I can just stick in, so I won't have to wrestle with a ink bottle and possibly get ink everywhere. I've gone through two tubes of ink already since May. That is, no matter how you look at it, a lot of writing. I hope my in situs work at some point, so at least I'll have something to show for all that scribbling besides the scribbling. (Mmm fluorescent images.)
There was a bonfire-bonding event for international students yesterday, so that the bus I usually took was overfull and a third of the students, along with me, had to wait for the next bus. Naturally they only left one guide with the entire group, and naturally the third left was left without a guide. The poor kids were without a clue where La Jolla Shores beach was. I couldn't tell them either because the beach was an entire stretch, and I have no idea which part of it they were aiming for (also the guide was horrible at giving directions, so this entire thing was like witnessing a train wreck). Naturally the group ended up getting off at the wrong stop, thanks to a combination of the bad directions from the guide, bad directions from an over-enthusiastic, well-meaning man on the bus who was trying to help, and the general chaos created when a group of students who just arrived in SD who do not speak English very well needed to navigate the public transit. There was nothing I could do to help because for the same reasons mentioned above, I couldn't figure out where they were going, either. It was only three stops after all the students got off, when I saw the sign for the bonfire stuck to the bushes next to the bus stop, did I realize that oh, okay, here was where the bonfire was supposed to be.
At least a slightly smarter girl had recorded the phone number of their guide, and they were, technically, still on La Jolla Shores beach (somewhat further north than they'd want to be, but technically the same beach). I want to help them so much, but given the entire mess, there was no hope for it.
It's an orientation process of sorts, I suppose. Welcome to the US, guys.
...
I've already considered the neighbors option for Zen. Unfortunately, unless I want to ask Deborah, for downstairs, to sit in my apartment all day, from 7am to 8pm, waiting for the package, it'll just involve more paperwork trying to explain that yes, I know the nice lady is from apartment 3, not 5, and that the address on the box says 5, not 3, but I gave her permission so stop leaving nice but useless little notes on my door already.
All my other options at this point involve contacting HP again (because changing the receiving address apparently needs to go back HP, not Fedex) and more paperwork. Given my general experience with paperwork and bureaucracy in general...I'll just figure something out on my own. It seems less painful for everyone involved.
...
Qual: am trying to fit everything in 6 pages. Am failing. Will probably end up cutting out a bunch of stuff at some point so my total page count will fall under 15. (Who the heck counts work cited page toward total page count, anyway?)
...
I have chocolate. I am prepared.
20090917
In which I fail at blog-updating, but otherwise do well
A brief check on my blog (after an email from Anna inquiring whether or not my thesis ate me -- or something to that effect) revealed that I have, indeed, not updated this thing in a while. This is, as I've explained to Anna, mostly due to the fact that once I get home at whatever time it happened to be that night, I usually have no desire to turn on the computer again. Due to the fact that this is the Quarter of Qual, turning on the computer immediately triggers my sense of obligation to check on my school email, go over my notes, and work on my qual...and it's all downhill from there.
I'm updating my blog in lab instead today, in an act of open rebellion.
...or perhaps, just a direct result of the fact that a mini-prep is something I can do in my sleep at this point and it comes with many 15 and 10 minute incubation time, which isn't really enough time to get into anything else (it takes 10 minutes just to get into the groove of writing qual -- and before you laugh, yes there is such a thing -- it's like a state of Zen, except it's a state of Qual-ness) (more on that later).
Aside from that though, all things considered, I'm doing quite well.
Last week, after massive amounts of email and comments from the PI that I shouldn't panic, panic doesn't help, I did get part I of my qual in and approved. Right now I'm waiting for a committee chair to be assigned, who will be the last member to complete my qual committee. I've started contacting many other PIs for advise, reagents, and general offers of collaboration for what I'll be doing for my dissertation. Most of them have been very gracious so far. The ones who aren't just never reply to my emails so there are, in fact, no direct refusals. (I've learned also that PIs are masters at passive-aggressive behavior. But that's neither here nor there.)
To celebrate the ending of qual, part I, I drove up to LA on Saturday to see Lucy. We went to the Getty because there was a French-themed event that weekend. There were people wandering around in paper berets.There was French music. There may even have been people there who spoke French!
Oh wait.
We discovered a sketching gallery upstairs, which was awesome since it's a quiet little corner where they provide art supply for you to sketch sculptures and paintings displayed in that area. The upshot is now I have a very large sketch of a slightly angry-looking woman rolled up beside my nightstand. I'm not entirely sure what to do with it and am trying not to read too much into the fact that Lucy's version of the same woman looks much happier.
We also discovered Solanum pyracanthum and Lucy immediately dubbed it "the Mike plant" after I commented that it's softer than it looks but very prickly if you poke it the wrong way (because, ow). It had orange spikes. And purple flowers. Lucy claimed that the purple flowers are Nick's influence. I plead the fifth on the account of imaginary people currently residing in my head. A quick flip-through in the Getty-Garden book in the museum store revealed that everyone apparently likes this plant and comments on it a lot. I'm a little puzzled and a lot amused by that, since the plant itself isn't very large or very showy, compared to all the other things that are there (purple wings, for example, or angel's trumpets). It just...has blue-green leaves with orange spikes.
Lucy put it down to Mike's innate ability to capture people's attention. I was too busy laughing at the fact that the plant's common name is "porcupine tomato" because...well, porcupine tomato.
Lucy has already mentioned our spontaneous display of desire To Get A Night Life, also known as, "Susan dithers and Lucy finally decides" (yeah), in which we went out and caught a showing of Star Trek on IMAX at 10:15pm at night and it was totally worth it because, my God, the shininess. (Overall design of spaceship, based on my personal and lack-of-engineering-training, ranks below Fifth Elements and above Star Wars.)
(Also dragged Lucy makeup shopping with me, because am fed up with mother and the cosmetics section is too scary to consider venturing into alone.)
(Then the next day was the day when I probably should've updated the blog and instead I went and...let's just say grocery shopping takes a lot longer when there are more people, later in the day.)
I gave a lab presentation yesterday. It seemed to have gone fairly well, overall. Department retreat will be Monday through Wednesday next week (half day, full day, half day). It's been changed from being held in May every year to being held in September, so it can be coupled with the orientation week of the incoming freshmen. I'm somewhat dubious about the wisdom of this decision, because is it really a good idea to ship off students who are still disoriented from coming in from all over the place (a good portion will be from CA but we get a lot of people from all over the US and occasionally a few from outside of the US) in the middle of the orientation to somewhere else? I guess we'll see.
Am currently on part II, section 3 of qual, page 4 of 7. This is the last section unless you count the works cited page, which I don't. If I get it done this week the rounds of editing will start next week. Possibly.
Wow that is a long post. It took...about five incubations to type.
Zen tried to come home on Tuesday. Unfortunately I'm gone for most of the day so there's no way I can sign for Fedex'ed things. I've arranged for a pickup so hopefully I'll get Zen back tonight.
I'm updating my blog in lab instead today, in an act of open rebellion.
...or perhaps, just a direct result of the fact that a mini-prep is something I can do in my sleep at this point and it comes with many 15 and 10 minute incubation time, which isn't really enough time to get into anything else (it takes 10 minutes just to get into the groove of writing qual -- and before you laugh, yes there is such a thing -- it's like a state of Zen, except it's a state of Qual-ness) (more on that later).
Aside from that though, all things considered, I'm doing quite well.
Last week, after massive amounts of email and comments from the PI that I shouldn't panic, panic doesn't help, I did get part I of my qual in and approved. Right now I'm waiting for a committee chair to be assigned, who will be the last member to complete my qual committee. I've started contacting many other PIs for advise, reagents, and general offers of collaboration for what I'll be doing for my dissertation. Most of them have been very gracious so far. The ones who aren't just never reply to my emails so there are, in fact, no direct refusals. (I've learned also that PIs are masters at passive-aggressive behavior. But that's neither here nor there.)
To celebrate the ending of qual, part I, I drove up to LA on Saturday to see Lucy. We went to the Getty because there was a French-themed event that weekend. There were people wandering around in paper berets.There was French music. There may even have been people there who spoke French!
Oh wait.
We discovered a sketching gallery upstairs, which was awesome since it's a quiet little corner where they provide art supply for you to sketch sculptures and paintings displayed in that area. The upshot is now I have a very large sketch of a slightly angry-looking woman rolled up beside my nightstand. I'm not entirely sure what to do with it and am trying not to read too much into the fact that Lucy's version of the same woman looks much happier.
We also discovered Solanum pyracanthum and Lucy immediately dubbed it "the Mike plant" after I commented that it's softer than it looks but very prickly if you poke it the wrong way (because, ow). It had orange spikes. And purple flowers. Lucy claimed that the purple flowers are Nick's influence. I plead the fifth on the account of imaginary people currently residing in my head. A quick flip-through in the Getty-Garden book in the museum store revealed that everyone apparently likes this plant and comments on it a lot. I'm a little puzzled and a lot amused by that, since the plant itself isn't very large or very showy, compared to all the other things that are there (purple wings, for example, or angel's trumpets). It just...has blue-green leaves with orange spikes.
Lucy put it down to Mike's innate ability to capture people's attention. I was too busy laughing at the fact that the plant's common name is "porcupine tomato" because...well, porcupine tomato.
Lucy has already mentioned our spontaneous display of desire To Get A Night Life, also known as, "Susan dithers and Lucy finally decides" (yeah), in which we went out and caught a showing of Star Trek on IMAX at 10:15pm at night and it was totally worth it because, my God, the shininess. (Overall design of spaceship, based on my personal and lack-of-engineering-training, ranks below Fifth Elements and above Star Wars.)
(Also dragged Lucy makeup shopping with me, because am fed up with mother and the cosmetics section is too scary to consider venturing into alone.)
(Then the next day was the day when I probably should've updated the blog and instead I went and...let's just say grocery shopping takes a lot longer when there are more people, later in the day.)
I gave a lab presentation yesterday. It seemed to have gone fairly well, overall. Department retreat will be Monday through Wednesday next week (half day, full day, half day). It's been changed from being held in May every year to being held in September, so it can be coupled with the orientation week of the incoming freshmen. I'm somewhat dubious about the wisdom of this decision, because is it really a good idea to ship off students who are still disoriented from coming in from all over the place (a good portion will be from CA but we get a lot of people from all over the US and occasionally a few from outside of the US) in the middle of the orientation to somewhere else? I guess we'll see.
Am currently on part II, section 3 of qual, page 4 of 7. This is the last section unless you count the works cited page, which I don't. If I get it done this week the rounds of editing will start next week. Possibly.
Wow that is a long post. It took...about five incubations to type.
Zen tried to come home on Tuesday. Unfortunately I'm gone for most of the day so there's no way I can sign for Fedex'ed things. I've arranged for a pickup so hopefully I'll get Zen back tonight.
20090702
In the spirit of determination
WARNING: LONG POST AHEAD.
The weeks have been getting a lot more insane lately, what with the moving and the lab work. There was a one-day retreat the other week for the genetics training grant, which my PI is strongly hinting (read: extremely unsubtle hinting) that I should apply for. I was there along with a few of my first year class mates. Here is a link to the photos from the retreat, where you can see me occasionally in the background and in one occasion standing next to my labmate, who has the dubious pleasure of showing me the ropes in our lab.
There was a meeting about our qual exam also, which I almost missed because for some reason I didn't get the email, despite of the fact that my correct email address was listed in the address bar (I checked with a classmate) (no it's not in my spam or deleted folders either, have checked). I was prevented from having an aneurysm later by the virtues of walking into a classmate while I was leaving to turn in my paperwork for something else (oh Gods the paperwork, it never ends), who wanted to know where I was going, and then, why I wasn't going to the meeting.
My response at the time, if I recall correctly, was to stare at her goggle-eyed and ask, "What meeting?"
So yeah, ladies and gents, my qual consists of a written portion and an oral portion, both of which are due at the upcoming Thanksgiving. The written portion is in the format of a grant proposal and the oral portion is in the format of a research seminar, followed by a question session in which we get quizzed on our knowledge regarding our presentation, the background research relevant to our proposal, and anything in our classes that could be related to our proposal. The rough of the abstract and the summary of the written portion is due by the first week of August. The final is due by Labor Day.
Meanwhile, my PI also hopes that I can churn out enough data for my current project that he can submit a grant application by the August deadline. He's not entirely sure whether or not my current project (a mutation that causes neurodegeneration, and we don't know why) would make a good dissertation project, because it's risky (as in we have no idea why the atrophy occurs, or even what the complete list of symptoms are), but the alternative is to pick up the project that the other people are doing for when the other people are going to leave next year, and those projects already have published work, their own grants, and established foundation to base further hypothesis on.
I asked the PI if I can work on my current project as my dissertation, despite of all the times (well, three discussions total) that we've had where he "hinted" that the other one may make a better thesis than this. I gave my reason as "I think it's really cool" and, much to my surprise, he agreed to let me work on it. Or at lease he'd agreed to help me with the written part of the qual (the part our PI is allowed to help us with) on it. I am having moments when I'm wondering whether or not it's better to have gone with the safer option. It's me after all. I tend to go with the safer option, all the time. Except for when I don't and then I end up in America, with something like 28 units per quarter and enrollment in grad school a year later, much to, I think, everyone's surprise. Therefore, for all that I wonder, I'm not going to change my choice because
1) What am I trying to prove now, really? Nothing, that's what. Do I NEED a doctorate? Not really, I'm not doing it for my career or hopes of improving my income. I'm doing it because I think it'll be fun and I'll regret it for the rest of my life if I don't at least give it a shot.
2) If I pick something I'm not as invested in, three years down the line I'll be dragging my feet to go to the lab each day. It happens to some of my upperclassman. With this current thing, I will never be bored. Exhausted, occasionally. Frustrated, no doubt about it. Occasionally beating my head against the wall. But never bored.
3) A large part of the spirit behind science is actually risk-taking. Or so I believe. If we only stick to the "safe" experiments we'll be forever fine-tuning the details of the existing models and never discover anything cool.
In conclusion these days I'm in lab from about 8 to 6:30 and I spent my weekend cleaning / packing / worrying about my random deadlines that I have drifting around. I did order Sims3, though at this rate I'm dubious as to when I'll have the time to play with it, to the point where I'm considering the logistic of declaring myself a two hour work-free time every weekend. We'll see.
Am moving over to new apartment this weekend. Was told that from the second floor balcony outside of my door I get a clear view of fireworks over Mission Bay (which is roughly three blocks away) come Independence Day. Will be awesome.
Have just squished a spider with post-it. Recent check with someone who knows an entomologist informs me that spiders do bleed green. My is currently more brown, though. Not sure why.
Shower, and packing!
(Yeah, full day at the lab tomorrow, before anyone asks.)
The weeks have been getting a lot more insane lately, what with the moving and the lab work. There was a one-day retreat the other week for the genetics training grant, which my PI is strongly hinting (read: extremely unsubtle hinting) that I should apply for. I was there along with a few of my first year class mates. Here is a link to the photos from the retreat, where you can see me occasionally in the background and in one occasion standing next to my labmate, who has the dubious pleasure of showing me the ropes in our lab.
There was a meeting about our qual exam also, which I almost missed because for some reason I didn't get the email, despite of the fact that my correct email address was listed in the address bar (I checked with a classmate) (no it's not in my spam or deleted folders either, have checked). I was prevented from having an aneurysm later by the virtues of walking into a classmate while I was leaving to turn in my paperwork for something else (oh Gods the paperwork, it never ends), who wanted to know where I was going, and then, why I wasn't going to the meeting.
My response at the time, if I recall correctly, was to stare at her goggle-eyed and ask, "What meeting?"
So yeah, ladies and gents, my qual consists of a written portion and an oral portion, both of which are due at the upcoming Thanksgiving. The written portion is in the format of a grant proposal and the oral portion is in the format of a research seminar, followed by a question session in which we get quizzed on our knowledge regarding our presentation, the background research relevant to our proposal, and anything in our classes that could be related to our proposal. The rough of the abstract and the summary of the written portion is due by the first week of August. The final is due by Labor Day.
Meanwhile, my PI also hopes that I can churn out enough data for my current project that he can submit a grant application by the August deadline. He's not entirely sure whether or not my current project (a mutation that causes neurodegeneration, and we don't know why) would make a good dissertation project, because it's risky (as in we have no idea why the atrophy occurs, or even what the complete list of symptoms are), but the alternative is to pick up the project that the other people are doing for when the other people are going to leave next year, and those projects already have published work, their own grants, and established foundation to base further hypothesis on.
I asked the PI if I can work on my current project as my dissertation, despite of all the times (well, three discussions total) that we've had where he "hinted" that the other one may make a better thesis than this. I gave my reason as "I think it's really cool" and, much to my surprise, he agreed to let me work on it. Or at lease he'd agreed to help me with the written part of the qual (the part our PI is allowed to help us with) on it. I am having moments when I'm wondering whether or not it's better to have gone with the safer option. It's me after all. I tend to go with the safer option, all the time. Except for when I don't and then I end up in America, with something like 28 units per quarter and enrollment in grad school a year later, much to, I think, everyone's surprise. Therefore, for all that I wonder, I'm not going to change my choice because
1) What am I trying to prove now, really? Nothing, that's what. Do I NEED a doctorate? Not really, I'm not doing it for my career or hopes of improving my income. I'm doing it because I think it'll be fun and I'll regret it for the rest of my life if I don't at least give it a shot.
2) If I pick something I'm not as invested in, three years down the line I'll be dragging my feet to go to the lab each day. It happens to some of my upperclassman. With this current thing, I will never be bored. Exhausted, occasionally. Frustrated, no doubt about it. Occasionally beating my head against the wall. But never bored.
3) A large part of the spirit behind science is actually risk-taking. Or so I believe. If we only stick to the "safe" experiments we'll be forever fine-tuning the details of the existing models and never discover anything cool.
In conclusion these days I'm in lab from about 8 to 6:30 and I spent my weekend cleaning / packing / worrying about my random deadlines that I have drifting around. I did order Sims3, though at this rate I'm dubious as to when I'll have the time to play with it, to the point where I'm considering the logistic of declaring myself a two hour work-free time every weekend. We'll see.
Am moving over to new apartment this weekend. Was told that from the second floor balcony outside of my door I get a clear view of fireworks over Mission Bay (which is roughly three blocks away) come Independence Day. Will be awesome.
Have just squished a spider with post-it. Recent check with someone who knows an entomologist informs me that spiders do bleed green. My is currently more brown, though. Not sure why.
Shower, and packing!
(Yeah, full day at the lab tomorrow, before anyone asks.)
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